


Unintentional Loves

by Trugemstory_SF



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Alcohol, Alternative Universe - University, Erratic Updates, GET R E A D Y, Homophobia, Idiots in Love, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Name Changes, Oh God Yes, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Canon, Present time, Supreme Gay, Swearing, War on Terror, all Tumblr posts are tagged as "unintentional loves" fam, if u post anything about it please add the tag, please
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-09-19 20:46:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 45,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9459827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trugemstory_SF/pseuds/Trugemstory_SF
Summary: "The Universe just has a knack for causing disasters; bringing up one's secrets from their eternal tomb, exposing them to the whole world. You should know how that feels, you of all people."Four friends, each one still on the beginnings of their adult lives, learn that in between parties and laughter, among terror and tears, despite all the good wide-eyed intentions of humanity, every rose has its thorns. Quite literally.Tumblr for questions: trugemstory





	1. Escapede

**Author's Note:**

> I was supposed to work on more important projects but instead I spun out this. Hope you enjoy.

“WOO! That was fucking awesome!”

"Be quiet! Do you want us to get caught?"

Roxanne Diamond, or just Roxy as her associates sometimes liked to call her, gave a drunken shrug as she tried, keyword being tried, to get to her dorm room. She was wasted after she and her group of fake-friends broke into The Temple, one of the most prestigious nightclubs in the city, and nearly got caught pickpocketing some of the inebriated partygoers by that waiter, Ruby. Or was Sapphire her name? She didn't know; she had downed too many shots in her own way of earning the older mens trust and cash. She wobbled left and right, her mess of shoulder-length neon-pink hair partially obstructing her vision, and grabbed onto her partners in crime(s) to steady herself only for her hand to be slapped off. She turned to the girls, a group of obnoxious stereotypical chicks who sadly, were the only people she knew in university besides her roommate and some others. Yall need to--" She hiccupped, "chill, dude. Can't a g-girl have fun?"

"You're so wasted." One of the girls said with disdain, and Roxy's vision was getting too blurry for her to know whom. "Go get some sleep, and dont bother showing up tomorrow."

"What?"

The girls shared glances before the eldest spoke up. "Roxy, you're drunk. Like, girl that job was low risk and you nearly fucked up. We just took a couple of bucks from some rich people and you're already tripping. I thought you grew up."

The alcoholic fog was making it hard to concentrate, but Roxy was still able to slur out a little "I'm twenty-one now." 

"You sure don't act like it. Like Amy said, go get some sleep. You never saw us and we never saw you."

"You guys are getting rid of me, ugh. Where's the hitman, bro? I need a new crew.”

“Quit spewing bullshit, you idiot, you just need to take a break. A really long, indefinite break. She got the intoxicated girl's keys out of her pocket and threw them in her open hands. Don't die on the way to your room, kay?"

They walked away without another word, leaving Roxy standing, barely, in the hall. Dimmed pink irises stared at their retreating backs, and a scowl formed on full lips as the young woman ambled down the hall. She fiddled with the key as she found her door, now probably locked, and tried to jam it inside the lock with no avail. In her drunken stupor, she seemed to forget the fact that her roommate was probably inside, she could knock on the door, demand to be let inside, and all would be well. But what Katie said was true; she was exceedingly inebriated.

The door swung open without warning and Roxy nearly fell through the doorway if it werent for the hands that grabbed her mid-fall. Looking up, she was greeted with the sleepy face of her roommate, an unimpressive, skinny, blonde-haired woman whose name was Frederika and yes, it is a horrible name for your child. Roxy sometimes liked to think it was probably the result of a dare, a try at an archaic name-generator website, or her parents hated their nerdy, way-too-professional kid so badly at birth that they came up with such an exotic name. She smiled at her apparently exhausted roomie with a sarcastic tone in her words that seemed to slip through her teeth like slime. "Hi Fred, hows the shift goin so far?” This snide remark earned a quick jab to the shoulder as she was hoisted up and back on her own two feet. "Knock it out, I've been waiting for you all night to get here, its nearly three in the morning! Where have you been all night?" Roxy chuckled as she wavered a bit in place, and she could see Rikas expression morph slowly into shocked confusion, as she now could smell the alcohol in the others breath or must've noticed that the others usually reserved attitude was nonexistent. "What's up with--wait, Roxy are you drunk?"

The younger one, even if it was only by a year, gave another little snicker at the rare occurrence of Rikas obvious horror as she leaned on the doorframe for support, finding her facial expression hilarious as usual, and the best part was since what she was leaning on was a doorframe, it couldnt slap her hand away. Or could it? Without prior notice, her stomach began to ache. Her throat felt as if it were being eaten up by lava, and she clutched at her sweater, stained with vodka and god knows what, halfheartedly as Rika tugged gently on her arm, trying to coax Roxy into not throwing up all over her/the ground.

"Goddamn it, I told you, you shouldnt go out with those horrible brats! They're bad influence, even for you." She muttered under her breath, watching as the pink-haired woman relaxed her hold on the doorframe and managed to steady herself. Rika's brows knit together as she wrapped her arm around Roxy's shoulders, kicking the door shut and walking the wasted one inside the room so she can sit which was easy considering how Roxy was quite shorter than her or any of her friends, as a matter of fact. "Come on, you big ball of candy floss, get in here before anyone sees you." The use of alcoholic drinks was prohibited on campus, and if anyone sees Roxy like this she might be suspended, or worse, expelled. She sat the intoxicated teen on a chair in which Roxy slumped, while she fished in a nearby desk drawer for her phone. Roxy knew that this was where Rika worked, and knew from personal experience that not even a natural disaster could make her abandon whatever things she kept there. Although she battled dizziness and could barely form sentences, she could see some blueprints for machines, torn papers where notes were scribbled in messy handwriting, and a little notebook the size of a palm that was open on the desk, only two words written on the page. _How long?_

Roxy wondered what that meant as she watched Rika fumble about with her IPhone until she pressed it to her ear, muttering all the while. "Pick up, pick up please come o--" She cut herself off as a cry of happiness escaped her. “Yes! Oh my god you don't know how grateful I am that you picked up! Look, can you come to my room, like, this instant? What? Yes I know it's halfway across campus from yours but it's important." She waited as someone spoke on the other end, and his or her tone indicated displeasure with the whole conversation. "I know, I know, but it's not... yeah of course its about Roxy. She just showed up, drunk, on the doorstep and I dont knowwell I TRIED to tell you but you just don't listen! God, you're so terrible sometimes. Well would it matter more if I told you? OH, so you care about her more than I do now, is that the case? No, ugh no, dont you dare use our roommate relationship to justify you being a clueless egotistical lesbian. She'd follow you everywhere even if it would get her killed and if you didn't show up she just-- Yeah, ok bye." Tossing the phone to a nearby table, Rika walked over to her groaning roommate and knelt next to her. "Hey," she asked, "How are you holding up?" And Roxy could only give a wavering thumbs-up. Rika patted her other hand in a gesture of comfort, and if the younger one were sober, she wouldve gasped in utter shock. If there was something definite about Rika, she never ever showed any sort of emotions unless they were too crippling for her to deal with and even then, she would stop them in their tracks immediately.

Maybe she finally stopped being an annoying jerk for once.

Without warning, Roxy jumps up from the chair and literally throws herself in her roommates arms, giggling all the while. "You're the b-best..." she manages as she wraps herself around the blonde, missing Rikas mortified face. _It's all right, Rika. She's just drunk. She probably doesnt know what she's doing._ The older one thought, trying to support the other's trippy form without much physical contact.

"Roxy, no. Bad girl. Get back in the chair."

"Roxy do this, Roxy do that, Roxy dont be such a bitch yeeesh, you sound like my dad. Next time you'll be callin me Roxanne or shit."

Rika sighed as she tried to push her drunken friend off only for her to grab her even tighter, nuzzling into her neatly done hair as pink locks entered Rika's vision. "Tsk. Mm... Roxy, knock it out. Quit petting me, I'm not your girlfriend, Shiro is." She grumbled as she pried Roxy's hands off her and threw her on the couch opposite from where she previously sat, earning a groan from the other, who was now laying in a sleepy mess. All of a sudden, the door swung open with a loud bang, making Roxy look up with half-lidded eyes at the new arrival. Speak of the devil; Shiro was standing in the doorway, dressed in a black shirt and jeans that looked like they were thrown on in a hurry, the sharp color contracting snow-white skin, and she even had her trademark frizzy silver hair even more messed up than usual. She looked as if she was ready to tear someone apart, a frightening flame burning in claret eyes, but she always looked this way, so perhaps she just wasnt ecstatic to be called here at 3:30 because her girlfriend got herself impossibly wasted.

"Roxy, you idiot, what on fucking earth were you thinking?" She cried, stomping over to face the intoxicated one. Her voice wasn't filled with rage anymore; it was filled with hurt. She didn't like seeing her girlfriend in such a state and it made her upset. "You couldve gotten hurt, killed, or worse! I heard about what happened because scardy cat here called me, which I appreciate very much," here she spared Rika a grateful glance before looking back at Roxy. "But you're in big trouble. I swear to god if you got hurt I wouldn't I wouldnt forgive myself and here you are throwing yourself in trouble like some suicidal maniac." Shiro sighed, noticing how Roxy looked like a scared little puppy, and wrapped her arm around her waist as she sat down next to the now calmer pink-haired woman. Don't worry, I'm not mad at you, but dont ever, ever do this again.” This was met by a hug from Roxy who gave her girlfriend a kiss, and Shiro could taste the sharp sweet taste of a cocktail on her lips. Just how many drinks did this fool swallow? "Thanks baby, I o-owe you one."

How did you get this wasted anyway? Shiro stared pointedly at the other's alcohol stained attire, and raised a cautious eyebrow. Roxy rested her head on the other's shoulder, and her expression seemed to morph into something akin to irritation. "That bitch Kate and her posse, they left my drunk ass here can you believe it?"

A deep frown formed on pale lips as Shiro's eyes narrowed. "Well." She said simply, but the way her voice dropped several octaves made the rooms air feel a bit colder than it actually was. Rika stared at her hands as she gulped audibly, but the frightening threat seemed to fly right over the pink-haired woman's head, and she latched onto her girlfriend and slouching into a drunken heap. "God, I need to get out of these stupid clothes." Rika grinned to herself, snickering at what sounded unintentionally sexual as Shiro tried to recover from her sudden coughing fit. "Ok," she said, trying to divert attention from the color filling her usually pale cheeks. "Yes, you better go change; it's like four in the morning and this has been a rough day for all of us."

A few minutes later, Roxy was napping peacefully on the couch, covered by a blanket as the eldest of the three made her way to the door. "Hey, don't go already." Rika said as she met the other at the door, a steaming mug of cappuccino held in her hands. "It's such a long walk back, and its late." Shiro glanced longingly at the warm drink in Rika's hand but shrugged. "I can manage. Are you really gonna drink that now?" Rika took a sip, despite the remark from her friend. "I'm 200% caffeine, remember?"

The albino gave a laugh. "That stuff is going to get you killed someday if you keep this up." And with that, she left. 

The next fifteen minutes were quite uneventful. For starters, Roxy was a lot lighter than Rika imagined, and it wasn't really hard to carry her to her bed. Plus, there weren't any other people awake around the floor that couldve heard the previous commotion from her room but that was to be expected at such an hour; a soft orange glow was beginning to spread from the horizon as the sun began to rise, muted by the thick mantle of grey clouds overhead. As Rika walked into their bedroom, she looked over the sleeping form of her roommate in the bunk bed, then at the door where Shiro had disappeared quite a while ago, and felt her thoughts wander.

She wasn't going to lie. It was true that she did harbor a crush on Shiro a few months ago, but it was just a temporary attraction. For starters, Shiro was her type. Attractive, dependable, and had a kind heart to top all that, but she didnt feel the way she expected to whenever she ran into the albino at classes. True, there was an attraction there, but it wasn't the type of affection that caused static to fill her thoughts and butterflies to swarm her stomach. Then Roxy and Shiro met and the senior was falling heads over heels for her.

Never had Rika seen a person so calm and collected act with such uncertainty in the presence of a mere freshman but it did happen, more than once. Well, if it didn't go down right in front of her, she would have surely shrugged it off as a hallucination or some twisted dream and made sure to drink less coffee during breaks. The moment Roxy found out about her roomie having a crush on her newfound girlfriend, she immediately suggested they just share Shiro and that was the moment Rika knew that the elder one was definitely screwed with that type of girlfriend. Still, these two, they made it work. She didn't know how, but things were going off smoothly. Even after tonight's incident, if you could call it one, Shiro had forgiven Roxy in no less than two seconds after seeing those sad, wide eyes. If you asked Rika, Shiro let the pinkette get away with too many things and rarely even put her foot down, which was shockingly common between the two. If it were another girl, another time, Shiro wouldve happily strangled her to death with her bare hands.

Guess love does do some funny things to people.

* * *

“This is literally the worst headache ever. Roxy groaned to no one in particular as she rubbed at her forehead, still in bed although it was evening. At least she didnt have any lectures today otherwise; she wouldve been screwed for good. From what Rika told her, she had been drunk last night and showed up at the dorm room four hours later than usual after some foolish escapade. The TV droned on about a break in at one of the nightclubs downtown, the news reporter standing in front of a large neon-clad building, the crowd grouped at the entrance casting shadows against fawn rock. His voice was obnoxiously high, the elevated pitch instigating a new intensity for her consistent headache. “The Temple” read the equally outsized, stylishly written sign above the door, and there seemed to be people moving about inside.

She groaned as she picked up her phone from the nightstand and snuck it under the sheets along with the rest of her, choosing to take a few more blissful minutes beneath the safe sanctuary of linen covers away from sunlight and noise and all of those unpleasant nuisances. Roxy scrolled through her contacts, not knowing who to talk to. Rika was studying E-Commerce at the library, Shiro was out with some friends, - Hey, she has her own social life! - And she wasn't going to call Pizza Hut and chat with Customer Service again even if the guy on the day shift was kinda nice.

Well, guess Shiro has to make room for an extra person in her little friendly gathering.

The phone rang once, twice, three times, and then there was a soft click as the line was picked up. The familiar trademark screeching and howling of a Resident Evil game session assaulted her ears as it blared at excessive capacity, and there was an uncanny distortion of signal as an unfamiliar accented voice uttered the name of her lover in a question. "Hey Shiro your phone's been ringing, and I answered it because you have a really fucked up ringtone so what do I say?" The voice demanded, and in the distance, Roxy could hear Shiro reply with what were obviously an annoyed response as well as a mouthful of junk food, for she had heard that more times than she wouldve liked during the Midterms.

"Who is it?" she asked. "It's your..." the voice paused for a second, before they recovered from the surprise and replied. "Girlfriend? What? Hold up, since when does your sorry ass have a-" the phone was snatched from them before they could finish, and Shiro was talking. "Sorry babe, you know I get really lonely when you're not here." Roxy spared a laugh, smiling to herself. "Hey, I got lonely too, Rika's got some dumb quiz and she's been in the library all day, and I ran out of internet too, do you believe it?" The phone was now clutched tightly in her hand, as if it might die at any second, which was probably true. She must've forgotten about charging it yesterday in her drunken state.

"You know what? You should come over here and hang out with us. Its not like you have anything better to do, right?"

"Where you at?"

"A friend's place, she has games."

She winced as an explosion could be heard through the speaker. “I can tell. She said, unimpressed. Are you bargaining with me or inviting me over? Yeeesh Shiro all of that marketing shit's got you good, you're like a salesman ninety percent of the time now."

"Sweetheart, six hundred and fifty-six pages of technical jargon says I can be whoever I want, even if it's some crappy late-night janitor job at your daddy's company. You coming or not?"

"Hmm alright, snowflake, but youre not picking me up; you can't even drive a toy car across the sofa." She said, grinning slightly. Not that Shiro could see anyway. She heard her girlfriend give a little grunt, and she knew that the others pride was bruised. "I-I can drive," She retorted, a little sour, "But I just ate, and you know about my motion sickness. I can't be sick in Zaynab's car because she loves it more than herself and shell murder me if it gets a single stain. But I suppose I can pull a few strings-"

Before she got the chance to finish, the voice from before which Roxy assumed was Zaynab cried out loudly enough to drown out the already blasting console. "What? Nah-uh, snowflake, I'm not your goddamn chauffeur and the Mercedes is worth a thousand of your like. For the billionth time, you're not coming near a three-mile radius of my car. Not after that last time you drove it, I still remember that awful screech of yours, it's because of you I now have to use a hearing aid."

"Oh, don't exaggerate-"

“You drove us straight into a street light! How can you exaggerate slamming head first into a giant pole because your stupid friend offered to drive when you were incapable while knowing she might get you killed?" She barked, and Shiro's tone turned even more livid as she directed her own shouting to her friend. "You could drive by yourself just fine; you were just weeping too hard and fast to concentrate on the road or even see the road as a matter of fact."

"I was having an emotional breakdown, you inconsiderate moron. You were supposed to be responsible while I was in a state of vulnerability!"

"State of vulnerability my ass."

“You know, just because she's your girlfriend and have been handling you more than anyone should for a pretty long time, I suppose I'm going to pick her up, even buy her a pizza, you satisfied?"

"Much. You heard that Roxy? Roxy did... you... ugh, don't laugh Roxy it's not funny!"

Roxy, who was literally drowning in her tears by the moment, found the situation much too enjoyable to bring her entertainment to an end but she forced herself to speak calmly, pretending to be solemn for Shiro's sake. "Oh, yes. Yeah, it's not funny at all it's tragic. Very, very heartbreaking, its destroying me; I'm tearing up right now. Well, that last part wasn't entirely false.

“Argh, fine. Be on the lookout for a black Mercedes, ok? I'll give Zayn the address; lets hope she doesn't fuck it up like the last four times." And with that being said, the connection went dead.


	2. Attitude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy wakes up with a pretty bad hangover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This editor will be the end of me, I swear to god. All commas and quotation marks just vanish so excuse any mistakes.

Roxy was just putting on her jacket when the loud honk of a car reached her ears, and after peeking out of the window, she could see a black Mercedes - just like what Shiro told her - idling downstairs in the parking lot. She tied the laces of her shoes and checked her watch, hoping she wasn't too late or something, and realized she took at least half an hour to change into something appropriate. That was a pair of skinny black jeans, a pastel-pink sweater, a leather wine-red jacket that was a gift from Shiro on their sixty-something date, and Rika's pair of white Vans because she couldnt find her own in the labyrinth that was her closet.

She ran down the hall, remembering to close her door behind her, and down two flights of stairs, past seven doors, and out into the parking lot and the sub-zero air of January. Her eyes scanned the lot for any other black cars, and when she found none, she made her way to the one parked, surprisingly, right under her window. She tried to see the drivers face, but the windows - like the rims, the paint, the spoilers and the side-skirts, etc. - were painted so black that if the same car parked here late at night she just might miss it entirely. She climbed into the back seat and in the rear-view mirror; sapphire-blue eyes stared at her with slight shock. "I thought you'd be older."

Now without the obstruction of tinted windows, Roxy could see the person who apparently survived a car crash with her girlfriend. Zaynab was exceptionally lean, with sharp features and sloping shoulders, and she adjusted the edges of her hijab, pulling the edges closer to her face, before twisting the key in the ignition and driving them out of the lot. Unfamiliar music hummed dimly over the speakers; something that seemed oddly similar to garage rock but was not, and Roxy's own phone was buzzing. She pulled it out of her pocket and the first thing she saw was a recent text from Rika that seemed frantic at best. _You're not in the dorm room. You have five minutes to answer before I call 911._

She quickly typed a response, stifling a laugh, something along the lines of "lol I'm with Shiro dont worry" and hit send before looking up and realizing her escort was watching her intently through the mirror. She quickly diverted her gaze when it met the younger's, and Roxy leaned back a little in her seat as the driver continued fiddling with the buttons on the radio and twisting knobs. "I've never seen anyone multitask like that."

"Like what?"

"Driving, changing the music, and staring at me. It's fine, by the way. I dont mind."

"I wasn't staring." She sounded genuinely ashamed. "I just thought you'd be more... insensitive, established? I honestly don't know. I mean you do handle that douche of a Shiro twenty-four-seven but you actually have a sense of humor and look too young to even go here." At that response, Roxy rolled her eyes. "Dude I hear that everyday. Everyone keeps 'saying oh is that a fake id? You look so young.' 'Does daddy know you left the office, sugar?’ I hate it when they do that." A snicker made her look up, and she noticed Zayn driving with one hand, the other was too busy covering her mouth to prevent the laughs that were threatening to spill, and Roxy jabbed her shoulder playfully from the back seat. "Knock it out!"

"I can't believe people said that daddy shit, it sounds like a line from low-budget collage porn."

"You know what porn is?" the car slowed into a halt as they encountered a red light, and Zayn sank sheepishly in her seat. "I used to log onto Tumblr from my dads phone and, you can say I once got accidently 'exposed'. She said, shrugging. No amount of Clorox can take that, ahem, experience away, no ma'am.” And Roxy burst out laughing. There was an air of excitement and fun in the Mercedes as the two talked on, made cheap puns over their color-themed mutual friend, and Zayn even got Roxy the pizza she mentioned over the phone. She explained it was what she deserved because she made it that far in collage without any serious breakdowns, and then Zayn had an idea that involved introducing her new friend to one of her most favorite things in the universe.

"Hey, pass the AUX cord."

"You better not play something weird, or I just might crash us into a tree."

"No, trust me; I've known you for ten minutes. Do me a favor and stop blocking your ears."

"What's that?" Asked Roxy as she saw Zayn tap a song that was called Track 6. 

"A little something I like to call We Are Number One."

"No shit, is that the song from that show.... what was it called? LazyTown?"

"Right on the money."

* * *

Shiro checked her watch for the billionth time, and took the one thousandth look at Zayns empty driveway. They were supposed to be here by now; they took ten minutes more than usual. She sat herself down on the grayscale couch, changed the channel, and stared into the screen, not really interested in the sci-fi that was playing as she remembered what her father had said about her behavior the last time something like this happened, and automatically frowned. She wasnt possessive, she convinced herself. She was just concerned over Roxy's safety; it was natural for her to worry. But she had known Zaynab for what, two years? And she could read her like an open book whenever she wanted. Being the daughter of a private investigator sure sharpened her intelligence, and she had had enough experiences with her friend to know what she was made of, quite literally, but that was immaterial at the moment. She checked her watch for the billionth and one time, still 3:49 PM, and her unfocused gaze turned to the driveway just in time to see the Mercedes amble up the long, straight road and take a sharp left, moving directly to the garage. She got up and down the stairs, cutting through the kitchen and wincing as the loud whining of the garages closing door filled her ears. The Mercedes was just slowing to a stop, the door locks clicked open, and the engine let out a hiss as it was turned off. Oh was she just dying to give Zayn a piece of her mind in that ear, and a piece of her foot in that a-

"Oh hey baby, I missed you."

Roxy got out of the back seat, strolling up to her girlfriend and giving her a hug. The two shared a kiss as Zayn locked the car, a pizza box under one arm. "Ew. Get a room, you two." She said, rolling her eyes at them. She walked over to Shiro and gave her a friendly punch. "Just dont let it be mine."

"Knock it out, dumbass." The albino called after Zayn, a mocking smile on her face. She and Roxy broke their hug but kept their hands held together as they followed her up the stairs and into a living room. “You act as if you've never seen anyone make out in front of you before. By the way, what took you two so long?" She shot the two an accusatory glare that sent shivers down the bravest of spines, but Roxy just grinned sheepishly. "We got pizza, silly. How can you play decently without a nice, steaming pizza?"

"A reasonable choice." Shiro admitted, eyebrows arcing. "But you could've called or at least tried to inform me."

“Oh dear, what crime have I committed? I demand an attorney you lawless investigator!"

"Zaynab shut your mouth."

"Youcansilencemebutyoucantsilencethetru-" And then Shiro did what she has been wishing for the entire afternoon. Zayn's rant was cut off by a tackle worthy of a member belonging to a SWAT team, and the two fell onto a nearby couch in a battle of the shoddy, listless fists. It was too hilarious, watching those two yell and kick until Zayn, literally smothered by Shiro's elbow began slamming a desperate hand into the cushion in a demonstration of defeat. "I give up! I fucking give up now get off me!"

"You're giving me the new controller or I'm going to tackle you again. Jeez you fight like a ragdoll." Sure enough, two arms flailed weakly about as she released her hold on the other and stepped back.

"But your girlfriend's gonna play and I can't give her the old one, it's got a broken stick and that's disrespectful! How am I supposed to play?”

"Not my problem."

Zayn kicked feebly at Shiro as the albino got off the couch, and as expected she missed. "Ugh fine, you asshole. Sometimes I doubt my ownership of this house, this console, my Mercedes..."

"I bought you the console and got you the job at Diamond Industries so technically, I do own those things."

“Technically, you're a jerk, and if some shithole pricks didnt get me kicked out of the GID, the PSD, and Major Crimes I wouldn't be crawling to your feet for work. In fact, I wouldn't even be in this entire country let alone this house."

Shiro left the couch, a hand on her forehead as she sighed. "Oh here it comes..."

"I could've had everything I wouldve ever wanted, my own paid house and luxury car also a family and I would give them everything, yes everything! If I got a son or daughter they can have a boyfriend or girlfriend I don't mind." Here she paused, raising a finger. "Just dont let it accelerate into sex. Oh I'd let them have a car, home, small wealth and a partner of their own choice by the age of 28, not become an inexcusable bankrupt disaster like yours truly." She laughed to herself a little, settling down on the small grayscale sofa, the same on which Shiro was seated not fifteen minutes ago and unlatching a few pins from her headscarf. "Heh. Dumb, isn't it? I'm planning a whole life I'll never get.”

"No it's not." Roxy found her voice after what seemed an eternity of silence, but only lasted a couple of minutes in reality. She walked over and sat down next to her new acquaintance, watching as pale blue hair cascaded down the others shoulders like a waterfall, soft blue fabric now clutched in thin hands. "At least you've got an idea on your mind; I still dont know what to eat for dinner today."

"You can take the pizza home; it might prove to be a nice meal."

"That's not what I meant. It's just..." She shrugged, choosing to gaze at the back of Shiro as she sat cross-legged in front of the TV, blowing mutated monsters to bits. "I don't want to end up like my dad and ruin some little kid's life just because I gave birth to them, y'know?"

"Yeah, I know the feeling. Work's gotta be a real pain in the ass if he still ignores you in collage."

"He doesn't, but still. He missed out on quite a big chunk of my life." She stood up, and took a seat next to her girlfriend who gleefully passed her a second controller, a devious look in red eyes as a second character appeared on-screen. "You know what are you doing?"

"Not at all." Roxy replied, a fixed, mortified grin on her face as her character spun in place as if stuck in a whirlpool. She stared at the controller as if it had come from another planet, pressing a couple of buttons with caution and watching as bombs and bullets flew in all directions, killing her teammate in the process. "What is this... what should I do?"

"Is that the controller from my second drawer?" Zayn piped up, not impressed by the embarrassing gamer show Roxy put on. Finishing the level, the albino didnt even bother to look at her friend before responding. "Yeah." Roxy frowned at the object's left stick, now noticing how it hung at an awkward angle. "Ah, its the broken one. Hey, Sub-Zero." Zayn threw a pillow at the back of Shiro's head. "Go get the good one. Look next to the PC, on the shelves."

"I already looked, it's not there."

"Well how about opening your pretty little eyes for a start? Look for a blackish blur, with little round red blurs too.”

Roxy put the controller down, laughing. "Yeah, go Zayn! Not even ice can heal that burn!" Upon hearing this, Shiro glared at her lover and stood up, hands on her hips as she went to retrieve the missing controller. "You're supposed to be on my side, not hers."

"Hey, it was a good comeback." Roxy accepted the new controller from her girlfriend who was, obviously, still sour. She kept fighting off her teammate and going all gung-ho on massive groups of B.O.Ws barely armed. She died four times, lost to ridiculous reasons, and continued grunting to herself as a giant blob ate her whole aboard the "Queen Dido". Stupid piece of shit. She grumbled as she nearly slammed the wireless controller into the ground, upset. Zayn got off the couch and hugged Shiro with such ferocity that the albino nearly fell off balance, discreetly; she motioned for Roxy to do the same.

"What are you doing?" Shiro demanded angrily, losing yet again to a big tentacle beast, but Zayn's reply made her look away. "Hugging you so you could stop being such a whiny bitch and play properly. We all know you have a huge lack of attention because you have no recognition of what affection is, and thats why you need this hug." She motioned again to Roxy. "Come here and help me."

* * *

 

Roxy's phone was ringing in her pocket, but she was in this game too deep to answer it. After Shiro got her "vital" dose of hugs, they were all ready to get this game going. Roxy was the only one surviving after her AI teammate was eradicated by flames and she was up against the final boss, a virtually gigantic parasite-infested mutated whale. Zayn on her left and Shiro on her right, they were both yelling and pointing at far too many things on-screen; they had lost to this thing far too many times before and despite their pride being shattered to bits right now, they were much more interested in helping their mutual friend.

"There's a new one to the right! Roxy, right! I said right!"

"Don't listen to her; the helicopter guy just dropped more ammo. Go fetch it!"

“She won't be able to fetch anything if she died you moron!"

"And she wont be able to kill it with a knife, idiot!"

"You're such a fool!"

"Well you're such a bastard!"

"What did you just call me?"

"I said bastard. Trigger-happy gun-slinging bastard."

"Oh I'm going to rip your head off your shoulders you arrogant asshole..."

Roxy shouldered them both apart before the situation could escalate, trying to fend off the grouping monsters - inside the game session, mind you - in the process. "Guys, don't fight. At least not now, don't you want to see the ending?" Her phone continued to ring, a jingle she recognized, and she began wriggling left and right in an attempt to get it out. "Somebody grab my phone, I can't miss this call." Zayn reached into her right jacket pocket and fished out the cell phone, flashing Shiro a smug grin that vanished quickly as she read the caller's name. She blinked once, then stared wide-eyed at the pinkette who was trying desperately to tap the pause button. "Who the fuck is Rika, your babysitter? Look at how many missed calls are there, there's like five of em.”

"Just answer."

"Ok." She answered the phone, raising it to her ear cautiously as if scared that some poltergeist might be on the other end. "H-hello?"

"Who are you and what did you do to Roxy?" The voice demanded, a heated tone laced with panic making Zayn flinch.

"W-what are you talking about? I didnt do any-"

"If you even think you could touch a single hair on her head I swear I will rip you apart, you little shit. What did you do? Stalked her, took her somewhere quiet, and kidnapped her?"

 "I didnt kidnap anyone!" Zayn was taken aback by the hostility, and Shiro reached out and took the phone from the other who seemed to be on the brink of tears. God, Zaynab was just too fucking hypersensitive sometimes, well most of the time, but if she was talking to the same person Shiro thought she was talking to then perhaps Zayn wasnt to blame if she started weeping. As soon as she got a hold of the phone, she started speaking. "Calm down; you sound like somebody just shoved a stick up your ass."

Shiro?

“Who else could it be? You just fucking skinned my friend alive just because she answered the goddamn phone. What the hell is wrong with you?" The person on the other end was quiet, and Shiro let out a breath. "Rika this whole over-protective shit needs to stop. You're overreacting, for god's sake!"

The eerie calm over the line was unusual; Rika was always the orator type. I'm sorry. It came out, satirical and hard, but it did come out which was quite an achievement. She didnt answer the last five times.

Shiro stared ahead, confused by her statement until she remembered Zayn's previous declaration which she mistake for a joke. "You called five times?" Sure enough, the text on the lock screen read; five missed calls: Rika. So she had a point, but it didnt justify the way she bit Zayn's head off like an infuriated leopard. "You better get your sorry ass over here if you want to see Roxy, but frankly she looks quite thrilled to not be in your version of hospitalization for once." The sudden hitch in Rika's voice was more than enough to expose her loss of composure. "I said I'm sorry, I was just concerned about her wellbeing. You dont know what could happen to her out there."

"And you do?"

There was a lengthy silence, and then the line clicked, bringing back the younger's voice with it. "I'm coming over.”

"Should I prepare a welcoming committee?" The sarcasm in Shiro's voice sliced Rika's patience - if it even existed - like a sword through rosewood. 

"Cut the crap; just tell me where you are."

"We'll meet you at that café, the one three blocks away from the southern gate because I dont think a certain _someone_ will take a liking to you being in their house."

Alright." She shot across the connection before she hung up, making Shiro groan audibly, putting up a hand to her forehead as she set Roxy's phone down on a close table. "This woman is going to give me a heart attack, I swear to god..." She muttered under her breath before she inhaled sharply, fixing her collar mechanically in a common habit of hers. She gave Zayn a judgmental look as she returned to her previous position on Roxy's right side. "Don't tell me you're going to cry." Hearing this, Zayn wiped hastily at her eyes, narrowing them at the albino with a vicious glare. "Did I look like I was going to cry?" she growled, a bit too hostile. Shiro did not reply, only raised her hands up in front of her defensively.

"I didnt say anything."


	3. Apologetic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy offers to drive Zayn's car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many people like this thank you so much??? I love you all ♢♢

To say that Zaynab was seething was an understatement.

A major understatement.

The car sped through an intersection, narrowly missing a red light, and it was a miracle that they hadn't crashed into the pavement by now considering how the car drifted into each corner like it was Red Bull's Car Park Drift. Roxy clutched onto the doors handle for dear life and Shiro clung onto her as well, both glaring daggers into Zayn's back. "What the hell, Zayn? Stop driving like a maniac!" Shiro cried as they were both nearly thrown to the far side if not for Roxy's death grip on the handle as the furious one jerked the car through a hard right turn, the tires squealing in protest as white smoke erupted from them. Without warning, the vehicle stopped, and Zayn nearly slammed into the steering wheel as her nails dug into the wheel hard enough to leave marks. "Get out of the fucking car, and make it quick." She snapped, livid.

"T-the fuck is wrong with you?" Roxy asked as she saw Shiro silently leave the car from the corner of her eye, shaking her head. Zayn just stared ahead, and Roxy could see in the rear-view mirror that she was trying to blink back tears. "Nothing, ok?" she lied. "Nothing's wrong with me, I'm fine, fucking peachy. Now go shut up..." that Zayn fell silent, biting her tongue from the curse before she could utter it, managing a fleeting grip on her anger. "...before I do that myself." Roxy just nodded half-heartedly before leaving and joining her girlfriend outside the car. She paused to give Zayn a little wave, and she saw the other raise her hand briefly in response. What she didn't see was Zayn bursting into tears shortly after, punching the steering wheel repeatedly in her anger and remorse, bothered at how she had let her anger get the best of her. If she did, she might have asked Shiro if she could stay behind and help, or if they could delay this. She might have decided that it wasn't right to leave their friend behind in such a state, and might have at least offered a few comforting words before she left.

But she didn't see anything.

* * *

 

In the meantime, Rika was leaning against her parked yellow Chevrolet, her arms crossed as she checked her watch. Her cat-like eyes were scanning the lot for any signs of her friends, when she heard a loud squeal of tires and saw a black Mercedes skid into a sloppy halt a few meters away, barely making it into the lot unscathed. The car shook for a minute before Shiro, in all her grey glory, came out of the back seat looking quite shaken. She threw a glare in Rika's direction before Roxy came out as well, giving a little wave to the driver. Neither seemed to notice that the Mercedes seemed to quake a bit in place as the faint silhouette of the driver punched something over and over again, and Rika chose not to point that out or think of the possibility that this was probably her fault as she forced herself to look somewhere else.

"What took you two so long?" she asked, and Shiro rolled her eyes, which looked a bit too forceful and was quite a discontenting sign. "Oh we just had some troubles on the road, but hey, we got here quick enough." She purposefully left out the details about their apparently lunatic driver, and Roxy glanced nervously back at the car as it gave another wobble. "Ok so fine you saw me I'm fine and as pink as ever can we go back now?"

"Why the rush?"

“Um we kind of had things to do." For once, Shiro herself looked quite nervous as she looked back at the car too, a brief caution flashing across her features for a second. Rika's eyes narrowed as she began growing suspicious of them. There was something else going here, wasn't there? "What were you two up to?"

"Ah, nothing. Just playing a couple of games and Roxy seemed into one so we probably... lost track of time."

"Sounds sensible." The way she said it indicated she found it as foolish as possible. She shot a quick look at the car, noting how the two seemed to stiffen when faced by her action. "Who's in there?" For a minute, Roxy struggled with her words, but Shiro managed to speak out something. "A friend." Her standard authoritative manner seemed to return to her in that second. "The same one that you threw an undeserved screaming fit at."

_She just had to bring that up, right. That's casual Shiro to you._

A deep frown found its way onto her face as she inhaled through her nose. "How many times do I need to apologize for you to accept it?" She put a hand to her forehead, but then looked down, the hand dropping down to its normal position at her side. She fisted in her pocket, pulling out her keys. "I need to go, and Shiro... tell your friend that I'm sorry for what happened."

Shiro's brows rose briefly, but she didn't question the request. "Alright." She and Roxy began walking back to the Mercedes, and Roxy looked back to her roommate. "I'll be home by nine, 'kay?" her hands latched onto her lover's, and she flashed a small innocent smile. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." In silence, Rika stared at their retreating forms, remembering a time where she had been in that exact situation years ago; even the wording has been identical, but then she shut her eyes, and banished the thought before it could inhabit her mind any more.

She got inside her car, but stayed in the lot for a minute as she saw Roxy opening the driver's door and speaking to the person inside. She was, despite her initial annoyance, intrigued by the happenings. And honestly, deep down, ignorance made her uncomfortable; she wanted to know what was going on.

* * *

 

While Roxy and Shiro were busy with their grilling, Zayn was unconvincingly struggling to regain her self-control in the car. She smashed her fist into the dashboard again, foreign profanities tumbling out of her mouth in a very fast pace, irate at how puny she made herself look. And to top it all, the tears flowing freely out of her eyes weren't helping at all. Her bashes had left a dent in the sturdy framework, and as her eyes fell onto it, she felt her misguided anger boiling once more. Bringing her knees up to her chest, she wraps her arms around them while hands begin scruffily wiping her tears. She had always been weak when letting her feelings take control, or at least thats what she had been convinced. Letting your emotions show is nothing but a way of exposing your weakness to the entire world, its like painting a giant bulls-eye on top of your car. All what she had to do was just stop crying like a wretched weakling. God, this wasn't acceptable, wasn't she better than this?

A shaky exhale left her as she finally managed to control the waterfalls pouring out of her eyes, and tried to calm her unmanageable shuddering only to hear the drivers door open once more and Roxy peering inside. "You ok?" she asked, worry apparent on her face. Her expression seemed to carry even more sadness when Zayn turned her head to look her in the eye, sniffling a bit. She must've heard that entire racket from earlier, and Zayn mentally screamed at how hopeless she must look right now. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." She muttered, hoping Roxy wouldn't notice the way her voice quivered.

"You're not fine, I can tell. I should've asked you something else." She reached out a hand, one that Zayn gratefully took. She got out of the car, feeling the cold winds blow against her skin and wiped at her eyes again. The tears were gone now, but she still felt as if they might come again. Roxy was speaking, and it took her a couple of minutes to realize what words were she saying as she tore her attention from the slowly collecting mist. Winter has always fascinated her for some reason. "-like driving your car, but I don't think you want to so can I drive us home? Don't worry, I have a license." She added quickly, hoping Zayn didn't refuse. She honestly wasnt to blame; Zayn didnt want to think how her skull, no matter how solid, might manage under more reckless driving. "Okay, but..." She said, pausing minutely before looking up at the sky. It was covered with a thick blanket of nearly black clouds, and they were drifting quickly to the west, but were leaving even thicker ones in their wake. "Let me park my car in the garage when we get there, it might rain soon and I don't want to wash it in this weather."

"Aright!" Roxy responded with a peppy tone, a smile breaking onto her face so wide that it made Zayn's jaw ache. Still, it was nice to see her smile, it was like a child's, so happy and pure, and it made her smile too. She slipped into the back seat, relaxing in the seat as Shiro wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulders and Roxy turned the key in the ignition.

"Lead the way."

* * *

 

 Rika stared helplessly at the space where the Mercedes was once parked, stunned. She had expected to find some youth with them, perhaps one of Shiro's numerous school friends or underage apprentices - they sounded young over the phone, with an odd masculine undertone - , but as soon as the driver exited the car, her heart was stuck in her throat. Who she expected to be nothing but a washed-out youth turned out to be an absolute angel. A slender beauty with caramel-colored skin that looked ethereally soft under the dying sunlight. The velvety blue shades of her headdress and clothing created a striking match to sapphire-blue eyes that were sadly red with previous tears. Rika was troubled at seeing that marvel forlorn, but then, with some sort of miracle, her mind struggled to function again and she recalled precisely what Shiro had said, remembering how rude she herself was to this person, and how she verbally assaulted them. At that moment, she felt as if she had just cut her own stomach open with a very dull, rusty knife.

_Oh dear god, no. **What have I done?**_

The guilt that bit at her throat previously as if it were bile returned at full force as the earth-walking phenomenon gazed up at the sky, then back at Roxy who smiled at some response, smiling herself in return. It was small, but it was there, and it tore at Rika's insides. How could this person exist? Perfection was logically impossible, so how could an ideal example of it stand a few meters away? So close, but expertly out of reach. Wow, karma is really a bitch, getting back at her for her offensive attitude in such a dirty way. Her eyes noticed Shiro who sat in the back seat like a discarded packet of chips, itching for Roxy to return and rolled her eyes. Ok, lost cause there, but if only she could talk to... um... Rika can find out her name later, and explain the entire misunderstanding and apologize like a madcap for her stupid, stupid mistake. She covered her face with her hands, mentally slamming her head into the steering wheel.

_I really fucked up, didn't I?_

She managed to drive her car to the dorm's parking lot, walking inside the large building with a brief hello to the girl standing like a drone outside. Jasper was her name; big, muscular, patches of her skin were discolored strangely probably due to a medical situation. She was one of Roxy's many friends, respected her immensely, and was even willing to sacrifice her life to the woman. Jasper smiled at her, knowing she was Roxy's roommate, and nodded in response. As soon as Rika got to her dorm room, she quickly picked up her phone and began texting Shiro, hoping that the other still had her phone on her. She wasn't blind, she had seen her new obsession getting into the back seat with the whitette, and it was a lot quieter and personal than a phone call.

**Hey Shiro. Talk to me.**

The reply to her text came almost instantly, and she thanked whatever deity that watched over her right now. _What is it banshee?_

* * *

 

Shiro gave a glance at Zayn who was leaning, supported by her arm, against the albino's shoulder, her eyes still red and saw her give a little thumbs up in reply to the questioning gaze she got. Shiro smiled a bit, looked away, and pursed her lips as she narrowed her eyes at the phone staring at the reply she got from Rika. 

**Stop calling me that. Is your blue friend seeing this?**

Wow, very ominous, isn't it. What did Zayn have to do with this, and how did Rika know about her anyway? Whatever Rika had to say, it must be quick. She had said enough at the café's car park, yes. Plus, nobody has the right to call Zayn 'blue' except for her! Well, her and chosen others...

_Nope. Shes too busy crying._

_She's***_

_Damn phone._

Shiro didn't know it, but Rika felt something clench deep in the pit of her stomach upon seeing these three texts, and she tapped her reply while silently cursing her immense stupidity.

**Don't worry about the phone.**

**I'll install a new autocorrect keyboard for you later.**

**Did you tell her I'm sorry?**

_Well first of all thank you, and no. Not yet. Why?_

**Don't. I'll apologize to her myself.**

Shiro's eyes widened a bit as she saw just how odd Rika was acting. Was she apologizing to someone, one she doesn't even know in person, without warning? Unthinkable. She took a torturous three months to say her first sorry to Shiro after she broke her Wipeout 3D CD, and it was her favorite game!

_O you're getting a little gutsy there_

_Watch it you dont want to piss her off_

_She used to be psd gid major crimes_

_Military officer graduated with a degree_

**You're fucking me.**

_Not yet_

**WHAT**

Shiro had to struggle not to burst into laughs right then, a faint squeak escaping her. She stared at Rika's obviously mortified reply, realizing that she had read it internally in her voice, and felt a little grin making its way onto her face.

_Holy shit you probably had a fit there blame the lag_

_For real, she can kill you and walk away with it_

**Did she work here?**

_Nope somewhere overseas Middle East I think_

_Lol the country looked like a pistol got rekt_

_I dont know the name_

**And here I thought you had the intelligence**

_Fuck_

_She didnt want to talk about it or her time there_

_I respect her privacy unlike SOME people_

**I know you mean me with this.**

**I'M SORRY OK**

**I wrote it in all caps I hope you're happy.**

_Much_

_I'm still up for that little offer though_

**NO, you're terrible!**

_;)))))))) see u later_

Shiro tucked the phone into her pocket, only to feel a weight slumping into her lap. Looking down, she realized Zayn had fallen asleep and slipped off her shoulder. As Roxy waited for the driveway's gate to open, she looked back at the two and stifled a giggle. "You better not wake her up, mom."

Shiro grinned back, and they shared silent laughs.


	4. Courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy helps out her roommate in a difficult task.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sweats* please pretend I didn't add a 1000 extra words on expanding the bellow diamond interaction.

 

Rika paced back and forth in her room, muttering to herself all the while. Shiro's response, while much appreciated, did not help with the crippling lack of particulars she was dealing with. She did find out a bit about that girl's story, but all of it was precisely that. History, a story, something long done. It was all no longer relative - well the previous employment in governmental forces was something that could leave its effects on people, but that was unquestionably a long time ago - and Rika doubted how those facts could come in handy. She passed the couch for a fifth time as she thought, hands in her pockets. To her, movement was necessary when she was thinking; otherwise, it would all slip away as if they were a thin sheet of snow under the sun and her mind would be left vacant like a blank page. Roxy sometimes joked that Rika was chasing her thoughts around all the time, and that's why she always was in a hurry, always behind schedule on something or another. 

She picked up her IPhone, and scrolled through her contact list. She couldn't call Shiro; the whitette would definitely get suspicious if she asked too many questions, so that just left Roxy as a probable contact. She sat onto her couch, frowning as the line began to ring. She had better answer her phone, that little scatterbrain, otherwise... Blast it. Rika couldnt even be angry with the kid anymore, and so she sighed, rubbing her eyes as the carrier informed the other was busy with another call. Whatever, Roxy isnt going to bother with talking to a snappy domineering piece of shit like her, wasn't that the case? She had already said she would be home by nine; Rika needs to set an alarm like the one she always sets, not fuss over something that isnt really worth it.

But something - no, someone, keeps intruding through her vision. That woman, shades upon shades of blue, stares up at the sky like a wounded bird, as if she wants to just set off and sail back to where she wants to be. Where she belongs, up with angels. Red eyes, puffy from crying. Fists definitely aching from blows to the innocent dashboard. That smile...

That smile...

Where had she seen it before? Cracked and lopsided like she had no idea how to manage an appropriate smirk, like there was something she wasn't telling; from where did Rika know it? It had looked so familiar. She lets herself fall onto the couch, sprawled across it, and rubs at her bloodshot eyes in a meager attempt to remove that image from her head. She half-rolls, groaning, and her phone nearly breaks under her nonexistent weight before she pulls it out of her pocket. _Goddamn IPhone_ , she thinks with disdain, _almost as fragile as Roxy's manners under alcohol._

Still, the unuttered apology churns in her stomach, and she groans, feeling the undeniable urge to vomit. What would Rika even say? She didn't know the person but a simple apology just didn't seem right. _Hey, I'm sorry for yelling at you; I didn't mean to, I hope you're not mad at me, I'm really sorry I like you-_

No, take that back.

Why was she so upset, she didn't know. The only time she had ever felt this way was when she'd done something bad and her adoptive father would scold her, but he never scolded her... didn't he? Well, perhaps it was something else that happened, something considered bad to a child like breaking a plate or tearing apart a toy. Rika shakes her head, trying to banish the jagged, scratchy fragments of memories that had washed away by the tide of time. It's almost as if another, invisible being had taken over her form; convincing her into standing up and picking up her phone, forcing her to call Roxy again. Unexpectedly, the familiar tunes of _Fifteen Minutes_ sound right from the door, seconds before Roxy walks inside with the cell in one hand and keys in the other. She notices the name on the screen, sees Rika sitting up on the couch with urgency in her face, and gulps a bit too nervously. Wasn't anything going in her favor today? Apparently not. "H-hey, I was just a couple o' minutes late, Ri." She says, misinterpreting the thoughtful scowl on Rika's face as an angry one.

"Never mind that," Rika states, ignoring the shock on Roxy's face. "There's something I should do and..." The last part comes out a bit discomfited as the older one stands up, Chevy keys in hand. 

“I need your help."

* * *

 

Zayn was enjoying a late night, friendly four-on-four game on her heavily-modded Generals Zero Hour, when someone rang the bell. It chimed, fading into a wheeze as if it was as tired as its owner was, as she sent an ambiguous message to her teammates informing them she needed to tend to something and will be right back. She really didn't need to say anything; her base was well defended with a generous amount of Stinger Sites and Quad Cannons, and her unpretentious force of buggies and T-34 tanks was coming together quite well. (She still despised that slapstick of a name that they gave it; the tank couldn't even self-destruct in combat like a proper scorpion.) But, Zayn was knowledgeable in proper etiquette, and an online match had no pause button.

She grabbed her hijab from where it was folded neatly on a nearby chair, and donned it minutes before opening the door just a crack, trying to see who it was. It was nearly ten, Shiro was sleeping on a spare bed after Roxy took a cab home, as was her habit when spending time here, and Zayn was cautious. It was too late; nobody was supposed to be coming here at this time of night.

An unfamiliar girl with upturned blonde hair was standing in front of the door, looking quite sheepish. Oh great, another partygoer wasted into wandering about on the streets knocking on her door. But that girl looked a bit too alert to be drunk, or perhaps it was the sudden intrusion of Roxy waving a wild hand that made Zayn aware of the fact that _oh splendid Roxy is back with yet another girlfriend let me waste my time on her instead of actually doing shit._

"Hello there Roxy." She says, opening the door a bit wider with a smile that was a bit too broad to be called one. "What brings you two here in the middle of the night?" This was hardly a way to greet someone, but Zayn had a game she was eager to get back to and unknown to her, a Nuclear Missile to stop that sent her teammates panicking less than a minute ago. "Little wimpy scardy-cat here wants to say something~" Roxy grinned, urging her companion with a punch on the shoulder. "Come on Rika!" Zayn watched; bemused as the blonde-haired woman wrung her hands nervously, attempting to say something, eyes searching Roxy's face for some kind of explanation until somewhere in her mind, the name seemed to register. Rika? Wasn't that...

Oh.

Oh, you have to be _shitting me._

She stares into the blonde one's face with a flat face before a hand finds its place on her forehead, eyelids sliding shut. She was no longer fuming at the whole ordeal; her rage had died down throughout the day, big thanks to the woman sleeping like a baby upstairs. "I'm going to assume you come here to apologize, so can we just hug it out? I have a SCUD to return to, and a capital to eradicate." She states before seeing an obvious flush appear on her offender's face, and she nearly laughs before she remembers her game. "Or whatever, you can stay here for the night, I don't care."

The repentant one embraces her inelegantly before Zayn can say she didnt' mean an actual hug, ending as quickly as it had started, but its an unforeseen consolation from the near-constant loneness and that tiny self-conscious blush on her face is actually somewhat cute. Too bad, she's a vociferous asshole, at least on the phone. "Where's that titanium hedgehog?" The impatient and still a bit flushing Rika asks Roxy who shrugs, directing the same question to Zayn but without the humiliating nickname. "Shiro's napping in the guest room. Go to the main hallway, second room from the right, candyfloss." Roxy shoots up through the doorway and up the adjacent stairs, and a few minutes later a happy cry of "hey there floofball!" echoes down the stairs. 

"Those two." Rika mumbles to herself before her hands sink in the pockets of her apparently expensive jacket. "Sorry about... well... all of our encounters." Her awkwardness returns stronger, fueled by the nonattendance of Roxy.

"It's fine."

"No, it isn't. I was a jerk. A really big one."

"That you were, but you apologized, even gave me a hug. Now do come in, you can't go home in this time of night."

* * *

 

Hearing this, Rika couldn't believe her luck.

A beautiful earth-walking goddess is inviting her to spend the night in her home, just like that. All in return for some undeclared words and a simple hug. _Wow, Roxy was right for once, hugging people can really come in handy sometimes._

"Y-yeah, thank you..."

"It's Zayn." Zayn offers helpfully, as Rika steps inside and attempts to take in the sight. High chandeliers dangled from above, lustrous woodwork adorned with gold, and radiant works of art hung on the walls like proud warriors. In short, the guest room looked more like something out of the fourteenth century than an area in a house. "This is your house?"

"My uncle's. He can't handle the city air, only comes for work." She looks quite awkward for a while, leading Rika up the stairs to the more mediocre areas of the house. Zayn heads to the computer with a little bit of necessity, and the mouse flies across the table as she does a couple of things unknown to the other. "Make yourself at home." She offers, gesturing to the living room, pale in comparison with the converted ballroom downstairs no matter how spacious. Hushed mechanical mumbles came from the sleeping flat-screen 45-inch TV dominating the wall, several consoles wired to it, a button on one lighted up with a tinny green glow. The entire place looked like a computer game station, two large PCs on the opposite side, one whirring loudly as Zayn finished whatever she was working on and the other nestled in a large closet-like contraption, the carpentry lacking doors. Leaning closer to see what the other was working on, Rika struggled to tear her eyes off the other's powder-blue curtain of marvelous hair and actually notice the screen. It looked very interesting, and when looking at it - not when she was too engrossed in how so much azure could look glorious on someone - Rika could see some sort of battlefield simulation. "Impressive." She said slowly, eyes silently following the jets soaring across the screen, leaving little blue trails behind as they flew over domed buildings and hordes of vehicles idling. "What is it?"

"Oh, just a little game." Shiro said, seemingly appearing out of nowhere with Roxy in tow. "Good morning or good night, if I want to be accurate." She grins at Rika's purposeful arrival, apparently understanding why she was here but before she says anything, Zayn huffs, impeded in the middle of launching a Scud Storm, and she almost looks _indignant_ at what Shiro just said, her face twisted into an expression that hurled Rika's bones into a frightened frenzy. "It's not a _little game_ , its the most realistic strategy-action point-and-click game you can find, all of us joining together as Generals to prevent a looming threat with the use of powerful super-weapons and technologies. I would appreciate if you don't use its name in vain anymore Shiro." She turned back to her game, putting her headsets back on. "Moreover, I dont hear you saying this illogical nonsense when you play Counter-Strike."

"Never mind her; she's a bit touchy when it comes to her games." Shiro said dismissively before she picked up a controller that rested previously on the large glass table inches away from the TV, turning it on and waving Roxy over. Rika however, brought a chair closer to the computer and sat down, chin resting in one hand as she watched Zayn play. It was hard to take notice of anything, really; Zayn's movements were sharp and erratic, her commands a bit too quick as she acted quickly, sending tanks here, launching missiles there, defending and wrecking, bombing and destroying and shooting. Watching, it was taxing for the blonde one not to imagine that smug grin directed at her, quick hands moving places they shouldn't be, tugging her closer, and it made her turn a little red. Before the other could see just how flushed Rika was becoming, or the blonde could tell who was fighting who, a 'You Are Victorious' message popped up on the screen, hiding the destroyed remains of a war factory and an airfield, the statistics page appearing with multicolored names and numbers. Topping the list was Blue_diamond with over 2000 units, 139 destroyed buildings, and 1400875 dollars in total gathered supplies.

Rika's silent gasp was not enough to convey how overwhelmed she was, by the professionalism and effectiveness of this game, and by Zayn's unearthly, hypnotizing mirth. It sent rivers of joyous static flooding the disorientated void of her mind. "W-whoa."

"Whoa is right, I destroyed the crap out of those morons." The satisfied tone in Zayn's voice is music to the other's ears, and Rika stares at her face for a minute, taking in the sight, before she diverts her gaze and looks at the game screen a bit too speedily. "So, good game huh? Think you can teach me the basics?" The smile that breaks onto Zayn's face good is enough for an answer, but it brings an odd feeling to Rika, a confusingly pleasant feeling, and she isn't sure if she dislikes it or not. There is a lovely sparkle in cerulean orbs and upon seeing it, the blonde one suddenly doesnt know if she's still on earth or not. Zayn was talking, the words burning up the blonde-haired woman's enthusiastic insides like molten gold, and Rika was drifting on the other side of the galaxy, thawed out into a sparkling nebula, dying in a twin-starred sunset, tripping the fuck out.

While on her journey, however, she found some courage.

"It's midnight already?" Zayn says, jarring Rika from her thoughts as she shut down the computer, getting up as she frowned at the clock hanging over the cabinet-cupboard offspring. She sighs, rubbing at her eyes. "Y'know, I was starting to enjoy your company. Even if we got off on the wrong foot, you still aren't a total dick like Shiro." She didn't hear an offended yell from the aforementioned one, still absorbed in the conversation, or perhaps she ignored it on purpose.

“Uh... thanks?"

Zayn chuckles a bit, smiling, then her hand finds home on Rika's shoulder. She doesn't freeze up under the touch neither does she move, it isn't everyday that one is given the opportunity to even see an extraordinary goddess, let alone be touched by one. The warmth emitting from her skin is divine, enticing, and it sears through the fabric of the blonde one's clothing and fills her entire form, makes her resist against the inevitable desire to reach out and grasp the other's hand in her own. To do the unimaginable, draw her closer and closer until she could disappear inside the flawlessness that was Zayn's essence. For a second, Rika just wanted this closeness with the other, this outworldly sensation that she could indulge in forever without interruption. Safe from silly matters like work, family, a social life. For this haunting second, she was under the control of these unspoken desires, and she looked up at Zayn with a hopeful blaze in luminous golden eyes.

“Same thing tomorrow?" She suggests, and only god knows where did all of this courage come from.

Perfection smiled, her hand smoothing gently over the defect's arm, the supple notes of her amusement wafting throughout the air. It's odd that she doesn't question her request or refuses, they barely know each other and it was late, the time probably got the best of their mental capacities. What thing had they done, anyway? "I can't see why not." During all of this, Rika's face was gladly restricted into a tranquil smile, but inside she was melting herself into nothingness like a raging volcano, still not managing to get over how all of this has spiraled shockingly out of her control. The mood was oddly serene; perhaps it was the notorious effect of the midnight hour as it rang the changes, which they could tell as a grandfather clock chimed in the distance.

Hey, perhaps this was all some sort of strange flight of the imagination, and Rika was just passed out somewhere with a large textbook in one hand and an empty mug in the other. Well, if it was a dream, she didn't want to wake up.

She had a plan there, somewhere in her head, sometime before she stepped foot in the pleasurable abyss of radiance, but it too had been wiped away in the core of pure light that engulfed her entire mind. Zayn chuckles again, and deep down Rika is somewhat intrigued, why is she laughing? What's so funny? _Cute._ Zayn thinks, not that the blonde one can hear anyway. The thoughts are burned out as Roxy comes, like the atrocious shadow of a curse, and swipes her away to return to her dorm room because despite their desires they can't stay here, they have lives to lead. The warmth still lingers where Zayn had touched her and Rika stares emptily through space on the whole ride home, still captivated by the events that transpired between them. Pleasant disaster strikes her, and she gladly spends a sleepless night fantasizing about this expected tomorrow.

In the deep soothing privacy of her bed, she decides she'll never ever wash that shoulder again.


	5. Cheer Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people! I'm back with more gay ♢

_"Regardless of the dissimilarity among them, both types of goods (customer and business products) require diverse marketing mixes depending on the target market. Conversely, when pertaining to the changes taking place to the four rudiments," -no, this isn't right. Consumer not customer. "Consumer Products; goods that are purchased by individuals for domestic and/or instantaneous individual use." A customer can be both a business and an individual; is a word that can be used to describe the units inside a target market, makes that answer crap and my grading a D minus. Ugh, this is merely a new figure of torment, isn't it?_

Rika was gnawing absently on the top of her ballpoint pen when Roxy jerked it away with a fluid motion, making the blonde look up, riled up at the unexpected discourteous interruption to her studying. Roxy has her hands on her hips as she looks down at the other, and as Rika demands to be hand over the writing implement, the pinkette just throws it over her shoulder as if it's the most typical thing in the world while ignoring Rika's gasp of unadulterated distress. "Why'd you do that you idiot?" she cries out, reaching her arms out to grasp the pen although it had already flown across the room, well out of reach.

"Because you've been staring at the same page for half an hour, and you were biting that pen so hard it might've been overflowing and staining your entire face with ink and you'd still be absorbed in this stupid marketing shit. You need a break," Roxy said, picking up a paper cup of many that reeked of day-old coffee in two fingers and staring at it with contempt, which was looking quite odd on her usually cheerful features. "You're drinking that stuff like your life depends on it."

"Well maybe it does, and it isn't marketing, it's E-Commerce. Now go get that ballpoint pen, I don't have any left."

Roxy fell silent, but made no movement to retrieve the pen. “Aren't they both like... the same thing?"

"No they aren't!" Rika cries out, aggravated, and her hands dig into the sides of her head as she fights the urge to flip the table she was seated at into oblivion. She glared at the large textbook open on the table as if it has personally wronged her, wanting nothing more than to rip the pages out and set the heinous contraption on fire. "The final exams tomorrow and I still can't tell the products apart!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. **_Final?_** The finals arent until next month." Roxy seemed genuinely concerned now, her voice laced with slight panic. "Nobody said anything about an exam tomorrow." The blonde one hissed through her teeth in frustration, as if this exam was something so mediocre that literally everyone on earth knows about it but her. “You and sparkly spike don't have any, because someone leaked your questions onto the test bank a week ago and they needed to compose new ones so now they got delayed." Rika's voice was now dripping with simmering derision. "But mine didn't, and you're not helping. Now go get the fucking pen before I have a fucking meltdown."

"Hey, chill." Roxy's hands were up now, defensive, as she walked to the other side of the room. She picked up the pen from where it landed halfway in the sink, and shook the water off before handing it over to the fuming Rika who snatched it from her grasp without a word. She returned to chewing on it soon after, and Roxy shook her head in disapproval. She didn't say anything, however, but simply picked up her phone and began texting someone, most likely Shiro. The whitette hadnt shown up today, but that was expected, she didn't have any lectures. All professors were simply wrapping up their subjects, the ones who are late trying to pick up their pace like Miss Alexandrite, that pokerfaced demon. Roxy had wasted a tiresome three days to open a class for her to sign up for, and the dispassionate professor, who had to man the position on the registration office - the website had gone down, just her luck - didn't approve of any of her suggestions. She wasted so much of the pink-haired woman's time, so Roxy just slept outside the registration office in a form of rebellion until they knew of her family and were practically crawling to her feet for exculpation. The brief memory brings a smile to her lips, remembering who stood up for her at the building's door. It was hard to imagine this loud, heavy-handed workaholic in front of her as compassionate person, but Rika's helped her back then, more than she could ever pay back, using whatever influence she had to make sure Roxy got into Civil Engineering.

Roxy brings a chair closer, sitting next to the blonde one in silence but still keeping her company. She glances at the hefty textbook, and the language seems oddly simple to her. "Where are you stuck?" she asks, a hand rubbing her roommate's arm in a comforting gesture. Strangely enough, it seems to work, and Rika's furious gnawing on the pen's end seems to slow down in pace. "Third paragraph."

"Hm." The third paragraph is the largest, taking nearly half of the pages space, Roxy notes, and the one with the more deviating terminology; the majority of it looks obsolete, pulled out of the back of a 1999 Oxford dictionary. No wonder she's stuck there. She takes the pen and begins to break down the complicated subsection into much simpler sentences; using an external slip of paper and her vocabulary experience as a dictionary. Being exposed to imperious corporation paperwork at a young age has certainly helped Roxy with her terms. In no less than twenty minutes, they're done, and Rika's left gawking at what used the oh-so-difficult passage she was struggling with a few seconds ago, now no bigger than a couple of sentences. "That's it? That's the entire thing?"

"Yeah. It's all a jumble of big words, if you take it from that perspective. The rest are just repeated examples; a waste of space if you learn the first one which is here." She points to the fourth sentence of her makeshift summary, tapping her finger against the paper. "But really, I don't blame you for getting perplexed. Some of these words are out-of-date, archaic really. What print is this?”

“2000, I couldn't get a newer version. "

"I'll get you one." Roxy states, and her offer is met by hurried responses from her roommate that "no there is no need", "dont waste your time on such trivial matters" and especially "you don't need to waste your cash on getting me a new one." They are interrupted by a knock on the door, and a knowing smile crosses the pinkette's face as she makes her way to open it, and if you knew Roxy like practically everyone knew Roxy, you can guess who was at the other side.

"Morning, babe."

Roxy wastes no time with embracing her girlfriend, whose seemingly bad case of bedhead seemed to ruin her entire well-thought attire. Was that really bedhead, or was it her causal trademark haircut? "Shiro, sweetheart. What brings your honorable radiance here?" she asks jokingly, earning a little peck on the lips from the investigator-in-training that has her blushing. "You texted me, scatterbrain. I see you two have been working hard, you could use a break." She notices the array of discarded, half-empty coffee glasses, and the bags that had began to appear under Rika's eyes. "And that's why I brought someone with me."

A loud honk from outside captures the two's attention, and when Roxy and Rika poke their heads out of the window they are met by the roof of a familiar Mercedes with Zayn sitting on the hood with comical elegance. "Get in losers, we're going downtown!" In that moment, the blonde-haired woman looked like she was going to faint. Just staring at all that elegance splayed with such satire made that horrible textbook passage sound like a piece of cake. Overnight, her infatuation with the other had grown intensively like a raging fire and effectively blocking out everything in its path, which was the main reason she was behind time on her studies. Whether she was really supposed to hang out with Zayn or fuck her into the hood like a beast, both looked like probable outcomes. Rika could barely begin to imagine the humiliation of it all.

"You're joking. Please tell me you're joking."

* * *

They weren't joking.

"Come on, come on, you gotta do it." Shiro's fists were up in the air, stars in her eyes and a beam on her face, the type of ridiculous ones that people get in TV shows. She shared a look with Roxy who was snickering; shoveling Rika closer to what she knew was her impending social doom. They had taken a lunch break in some diner that they had never been in before, and Zayn had skipped off for a quick bathroom break. The whitette was seated at a table, devouring the bowl of fries in front of her that was soaked in ketchup and ranch, and Roxy had a milkshake that she set on the table before she carried on her pushing. 

"I can't!” The blonde one protested, "Not this, anything but this!" she dug her heels into the ground, whirling around to glare at the two, speaking in a hushed tone as she noticed the looks on her, throwing looks in the spectators' direction. "You two are terrible; you can't make me do such a thing!”

"What do you mean, silly? It's a simple question."

"Yeah, you're just offering Zayn your lunch." Shiro shoved a handful of dripping fries in her mouth giving Rika another reason to give up her meal, and earned a distasteful look from her. "I mean, its the least you can do after she's been driving your sorry ungrateful ass all day."

The blonde-haired woman crossed her arms and looked away. "That's not what I meant, I mean why do I need to hand it over to her, personally, with contact. Can't you just tell her I want her to have it?" Hearing this, Roxy fake-gasped as Shiro finished the rest of her handmade slippery concoction. "Ooh we have a shy one." She remarked, her pale face stained with red and yellow splatters, and she wiped it clean with a napkin. I thought you were the queen of confidence. The blonde ones face flushed, and she growled at the two before approaching steps made her quiet down. "I'm not shy." She stated with false calm and her fists were clenched at her sides as she sat back down. She shot the two death glares as Zayn approached from afar. If her looks could kill, both would be laying in puddles of their own blood by now.

"What are you guys talking about?" she asked as she sat down next to Rika, looking quite amused by the strange expressions on her companions faces. Shiro and Roxy were desperately trying to hold in their laughter as Rika cleared her throat a couple of times, something people do when they aren't sure of what to say, before she passed Zayn the food that has been ordered for her. "Y-you... um... you can have that, if you want. I'm not hungry." She offers, looking unnecessarily tense, or at least thats what the others thought. Zayn blinks at the burger she's been given, before she drapes a wild arm over the blonde one's shoulder, pulling her closer and not noticing how she looked like she's about to have a heart attack. “Gee, thanks!"

The whitette was practically bursting with laughter. I'm starting to think this was a good idea. She watched the blonde-haired woman's face turn exceptionally red as she mutters a brief "you're welcome" that took quite a lot of effort to voice. "Well," Roxy said, with a loose snicker, "Rika's having fun, so thats a plus." Their laughter is halted by a strange, loud warped racket that seemed to be sounding from Shiro's pocket, the distorted tones blowing literal holes in their eardrums.

Roxy blocked her ears; she hated that ridiculous ringtone that seemed to be tugging at the very foundations of her brain.

Rika simply tugged her jacket over her head while emitting slow, silent screams.

Zayn... well Zayn looked like she was going to faint.

With an apologetic look at all, Shiro clawed the phone out of her pocket and answered it as soon as she could, to the relief of everyone present. As soon as she did, however, she just held it up in front of her, trying to know who was calling, until a very familiar voice called her name from the other end.

"Is this... the forehead of Shiro Radcliffe?" Roxy recognized the voice of her father, and saw his face in a brief glance at the video call. The ashamed whitette nearly choked on her spit and held the phone at an proper distance from her face as she frantically apologized to her - or more accurately, her mother's - boss. Zayn snapped out of her little trance to the sight of Rika collapsing under the table, overcome with amusement, and began laughing under her breath too.

"Boss-- I mean, Mr. Diamond! W-what can I do for you, sir?"

The fifty-year old man on the other end of the video call adjusted his tie before speaking, his shiny black hair sleeked up into a widows peak. Well, first of all sorry for interrupting your lunch, and second of all I need to speak to your mother about a background check that's running a little late about our new receptionist. "I've been trying to reach her but she's not answering her cell phone, and the only other contact I have is you." He stopped for a second, leaning forward in his Spartan chair to take a better look at the screen, noticing a recognizable mane of pink hair fluffing around the corner. "Is that my daughter next to you?"

"Heyo dad." Roxy shuffled awkwardly closer to her girlfriend, not that her father knew. In fact, that was her major concern at the moment. She had no idea what her father was going to say when he found out she has been dating his Chief of Investigations daughter behind his back, and behind the back of Shiro's mother too, for an entire year. "Roxy, don't go corrupting my assets kiddo, I need Radcliffe in one piece." He said jokingly, as was his nature; that's where Roxy seemed to inherit her sense of humor. “Otherwise, who's going to pry in people's lives for me? He allowed himself a little laugh, regaining his typical seriousness afterwards. Really, I need this goofball, Roxy. These guys are the cornerstone of our industries and I need a woman like her mother on my side.”

Shiro's pale face seemed to fill with color at the remark, watching the man in front of her gaze into space for a minute, an absent smile on his face just like the one Roxy got when looking at her, now knowing just how much the father and daughter are similar in their interests. While purposefully ignoring the snickering pair across the table, she cleared her throat much like Rika had done a while earlier. "Um... ok. I'll make sure mom knows about the delay, sir. Anything else?"

“Just one thing, I think the interns are stealing our printers' ink again." The way he grinned while referencing Shiro's first 'investigation' made Roxy giggle a little before she forced herself to stay silent, all while noting how embarrassed her girlfriend looked. "It was a little slip up-- they were acting so suspiciously!"

"I know, I know, you only wanted to help." He raised his head a little, taking notice in something out of their field of vision. "I have to go; the offshore investors are waiting for me and I already skipped two meetings with them."

"Oh, ok then. Good luck dad!" He gave them a little helpless shrug before disconnecting, and Shiro began glaring at the two like a furious lioness ready to rip into a bitch. "You two are dead meat. Dead. Both of you." They both ignored her threat, of course. Rika wiped at her eyes while Zayn struggled for breath. "I'm sorry but holy shit, I knew Roxy had a thing for you but I didn't know it runs in the family!"

Shiro swiped at the two in a feeble attack but they didn't stop. Not even when they had paid for the food, headed into the parking lot or even in the car when the fuming whitette slipped into the middle seat, taking care not to trigger her motion sickness. Roxy weakly stifled a laugh, luckily before her girlfriend could notice, and tapped Zayn's shoulder from behind. "Come on, you can't laugh and drive, it's as bad as texting."

"Ok, ok." She drove to the northern gate, the one closer to Shiro's dormitory, and to their relief this time she didn't use a driving style inspired by Grand Theft Auto. The sun had already set, the earth lit by a subtle, amber light that gave the tall spindly buildings eerie shadows as the aforementioned one got out of the vehicle glad to be on solid earth again and drifted away from the car, pulling out her phone and placing a call. Roxy headed out too, but she stood next to the Mercedes, allowing Shiro some privacy. Rika was about to leave the car and join her friends when a hand on her arm made her stop. "Hey, um... you looked awfully wound up today, and I was wondering if you know... we could spend some time together, like friends do. Help you relax before whatever big event you have tomorrow." Zayn said a bit too suggestively, or perhaps that was Rika's overactive imagination at work again. She shot Roxy a look, and the pinkette grinned, nodding so hard that her head might've flew off her little neck. "I don't know. I have an exam tomorrow and..."

"Don't worry; I'll drive you there first thing in the morning." Zayn said, smiling confidently, as if she knew that Rika wouldn't refuse. "So... care to grace me with your presence this evening?" Those brilliant eyes were half-lidded, quietly and patiently waiting for an answer.

"Ok? I mean yeah, sure."

_This is fine. This is completely fine. Heh, getting dates is so easy; I wonder why I didn't go out on these before-_

Roxy nearly slammed into the window, a giant frightening grin on her face. "WOO YEAH RIKA GO GET IT GIRL!"

_Oh. That's why._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes Shiro's ringtone is the Corruption song and also her first -not so successful- mixtape.


	6. Downpour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rika spends some time at Zayn's house.

Zayn’s phone was ringing, but it sat discarded in the ground floor at her house, laying on a table as its owner approached, picking it up with a scowl on her face. “Not her again,” she grunted, “Don’t I ever get to do what I want?” She shoved it in her pocket, walking off as she tried to clear her head. She didn’t need to scare off Rika by looking angry; she really liked the other’s company even if that jerk Shiro didn’t approve. Outside, it had started to rain, and in between the continuous shower, a few streaks of lighting lit up the sky, thunder rumbling in the distance.

Upstairs, on the couch, Rika flinched slightly as the sky lit up again. She didn’t expect a thunderstorm, not today, and she didn’t want Zayn to see her in such a state. She had always been frightened of thunder, lightening and loud noises in general, but only a select group knew about it. Select groups like Roxy, Shiro, Jasper, and that highschool girl who once helped her to get new textbooks for a low price and was frightened of thunder too. What was her name again...? Peridot or something like it? That little computer nerd saved her ass the other day, getting her stolen Facebook back before the hacker could spam it with hate posts. She took a deep breath, ignoring the loud, deep rumble of thunder and trying to stop the pitiful shivering of her hands. “Still nervous?” She turned around to look at Zayn, who sat next to her in one fluid motion, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. It wasn’t odd at all even if it made her entire form jolt with unseen voltage, Rika knew that her interest was of the type of people who venerated physical contact; it was obvious, the way she always had to cling onto something or someone.

“No, not really... I just...“ Her voice turned into a high-pitched squeak as a streak of lightning not two meters away from the house flickered through the sky, thunder shaking the very foundations of the house, or at least that’s how it felt to her. Zayn’s grip turned more protective, and for once, there was a deep-set, faint dread in sapphire eyes. “What’s wrong? Is it the lightening?”

“Y-yeah, I don’t... I can't h-handle this.”

“Do you want me to help?”

Rika nodded slowly, trying not to balk again when the sky lit up once more and failing miserably. Contrary to better judgment, she latched onto Zayn with alacrity, letting out a short, cut-off shriek of fright. Taken aback, the other resorted to petting Rika’s hair in a comforting gesture, an awkward smile crossing her face. “Hey, if you're gonna use me as a safety blanket; can we get a little more comfortable?”

 

* * *

 

 

**Thirty Minutes ago...**

Roxy watched the car drive off with a slow start, still hooting and pumping her fist up in the air, then picking up speed as it left. She chuckled to herself, walked over to Shiro who was standing a few meters away, still talking on the phone, and stood at her side. “Alright, mom. Ok. I’m already at the gateway... I got Roxy with me, mom, it’s all right.” She noticed Roxy standing next to her, alone, and one of her eyebrows rose in a silent question.  “Yes, she wouldn’t try anything funny and I wouldn’t let her if she did.” Shiro said and her tone of voice was showing early signs of aggravation. “Ok, bye.”

She looked around after hanging up, a bit confused. “Where’s Rika?” she asked, earning a little grin from Roxy who was avoiding eye contact. She had heard the yelling from before, but dismissed it as one of Roxy’s crazy shenanigans. “Out with it, goof.”

“She’s gonna get it.” The pinkette started giggling like a five year-old who just played a funny joke on the school’s meanest teacher, cheeks as pink as her hair.

“Gonna get what? What the hell are you talking about?” Shiro looked at the space where the Mercedes was once parked, back at Roxy, and then derived a conclusion that _Holy actual fucking shit_.

“Don’t tell me she’s spending the night at Zayn’s place.”

“Yeah she did. She might’ve gone there like... three seconds ago.”

In under the time required by a Mitsubishi Evolution to reach 100.00 mph, Shiro had Roxy’s shoulders and was awkwardly close to her, their noses almost touching. “What?! WHY?!”

Roxy just nodded slowly, not really perturbed by the invasion to her privacy. “She went there, because Zayn asked her to. Why are you panicking is there something I don’t know?”

“Probably. I need to talk to that idiot, tell her to cut it out and come here right now.” Shiro started dialing a number, looking even paler than usual if that was possible.

“Rika?”

“No. I mean Zayn. Rika’s not ready, she has no idea what she’s getting into, Zayn doesn’t know what she’s been through, this is practically a catastrophe waiting to happen!”

“What do you mean, been through? I've seen the way Rika looked since yesterday and you’ve noticed how Zayn’s all over her; they're totally into each other. Don’t tell me that there’s some devious trick at work.” Roxy said dismissively, still not understanding the situation, but the way Shiro immediately tensed up at her words seemed to speak volumes. “Alright then,” the whitette whimpered, “I won’t tell you.”

Roxy shook her head, putting a hand somberly to her heart. “You’re such a poor, uptight soul.”

Shiro squeaked, and it sounded oddly adorable coming from the usually composed and aloof woman. “She... she’s not answering! What am I going to do now?”

Roxy rolled her eyes, wrapping an arm around the panicking whitette’s shoulders and plucking the phone out of her hands, her own palm replacing it soon after. “You're going to go to my dorm with me so you can relax a bit, silly.” She said, a particularly familiar smile crossing her face. “Zayn’s little apocalyptic stunt can wait.”

 

* * *

 

 

The near-incessant thunder dies away moments after, and the rain increases in rapidity, but they stay in the pose they found for themselves. Zayn is half-laying, half-sitting on the couch, and Rika is leaning against her, listening to the story of Zayn’s favorite series because she’s too relaxed in this position to get up and fetch the remote controller. Perhaps she wasn’t listening; the way Zayn ran those fingers through her hair was an unlikely liberation from all sensations, her voice was hypnotic at this proximity. Rika let her eyes close, and she rested against the other, all of her uncertainty and alarm gone, feeling as if she might doze off any second now. Why did the other have such a comfortably flat chest, she had no idea, but when she asked about it all what she got was a vague answer that it had to do with genetics, and it was rude to probe any further.

“... And then the giant spaceship is attacked by battlecruisers, crashes on earth, and everyone on board either escapes or dies, but the bad guy dies too when his daughter kills him and goes on an escape pod with her girlfriend... or was it her wife? I don’t know, it’s got some pretty rushed filler episodes but I haven’t watched them, I like the ones with the badass plot development more.”

“Mmhm.” Rika didn’t understand anything at all, but Zayn had a lovely voice, like the soft grateful whisper of lost souls that had finally found peace, and it blended perfectly with the pit-patter of rain as it fell against the sloping roof. Zayn was so close to her right now; she could almost reach back and let her hand rest against the other’s shoulder, but refrained from doing so. “I like it, but I cried at the season 5 finale when there is a big funeral for all the people who died and it rains making it such a lovely view. Plus the wife dies two years after and there’s another war, it’s the first scene of season 7; there’s this short prologue thing before but that’s not important.”

“Wait... what?”

“Were you sleeping?”

Rika hums, and shifts a bit in Zayn’s half-armed hug, not really minding how sheepish she must sound right now. “No, not really.” And in response, the blonde-haired one hears a little sigh. “I guess I should tell that story all over again, but forget that.” Zayn says, and unexpectedly something in her pocket begins to buzz. She pulls out the phone and answers it, annoyed that this interference has ruined the peaceful moment between them. She listens for a second, waiting, before she lets out an uncharacteristic scoff. “You know what, fuck you.”

The loud shrieks that come from the other end are quite familiar to Rika, but Zayn hangs up before they could get a word in. “What is it?” The blonde-haired one asks, not really interested but still wanting to know who had a voice loud enough to cut this far through airwaves. “Shiro, the jerk wants you back.”

“Wants me back?” she parrots, and Zayn rolls her eyes. “Yeah, apparently I'm not allowed to have friends who know that little prick.”

“Why do you hate her so much anyway?”

“I don’t, she’s just a real pain sometimes. I mean, she was mostly fine when we first met, but when she got so overprotective about the whole ‘Zayn no hanging out with girls’ rule, it’s annoying. I want to go out with you, what’s the problem?”

_What? But she brought Zayn to see me today... Right?_

“She probably just wants you to stay safe; it’s a crazy world we live in for anyone who’s not an out-and-out chauvinistic piece of shit.”

“Chau-what?”

“Racist.”

“Well, when a literal magic marker is president yes she can fear for my life, but it doesn’t justify most of her crap.” She shudders for a second. “Ow, leg cramp.”

Rika adjusted her posture so she could face Zayn without glancing at those long legs of hers, not that she was busy thinking about the things Zayn could do with them, no ma’am. “So how did you guys meet?”

“It’s a dumb story; you don’t want to hear it.”

“If it’s dumb then now I want to hear it more.”

“Rika...”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Come on!”

“No.”

“I’ll tell Shiro about your secret Skittles stash.”

She sighed, knowing she lost this little dispute. “Ok, ok, just don’t tell her. She has like... four copies each of all my house keys.”

Rika fought the urge to laugh, not as if she could anyway as she let a very light snicker escape her. This whole ‘Shiro 00lolmegonnabustyoass’ sounded too funny to be true. “Really?”

“Yeah, she says they’re her security measures.” The way Zayn spoke indicated she didn’t think it was a good enough excuse. “Ok so it all started like... a year ago. I was unemployed, desperate for a job and the oh-so-wonderful shining beacon of light came to me with an offer. Now that I think of it, I think Roxy’s old man was there too...”

 

* * *

 

 

_“She comes with pretty good qualifications.”_

_Roxy fiddled with the papers on her dad’s desk, drawing little juvenile scribbles like a stickman and the words ‘Roxy was here’ with a tiny heart and a diamond as a signature, unknowingly ruining some very important budget documents. Her father sat behind the desk, making some notes as he inspected a file that was open in front of him, and the woman who walked in minutes ago was still speaking, talking about the latest candidate for the security guard position. “Twenty-two years old, former senior officer, a diploma in criminal sciences, I personally liked her in the drill for operation Eager Lion.” The woman, Elena Radcliffe as her badge said, arched a brow at Roxy’s presence when she fell silent. To her, civilians had no place in a high-security facility like Diamond Industries. Selling high technology weaponry to international armies was one thing, but the CEO being unable to get his daughter away from his work for more than five seconds was not a good sign, or at least that’s what she learnt from unfortunate experience. Moreover, it didn’t help that Roxy was a major distraction among the personnel here, especially her own kid who never interacted with the little monster before, as far as she knew. Personally, Elena thought Roxy was nothing short of an irresponsible self-indulgent kid but she couldn’t disrespect her boss and Roxy wasn’t really that bad, so she said nothing._

_Roxy’s father had a skeptic look on his face, turning a page to examine the drafting photograph of someone the youngest one couldn’t recognize, an ambiguous description written below the image. “Yes, but is she as good as you say she is? We have much more strapping applicants; any of them can replace noodle-arms here without effort.”_

_Elena stepped aside, a hand waving towards the door in a pretentious gesture. “See for yourself, Mike. I'm telling you, if you want protection, she’s your man.” Elena smirked in her eerie, supposed-to-be-charming way for a minute, and both the ones by the desk seemed to tremble subtly. “Heh, you get it? Your man. It’s because in the file...” Her smile dropped in an instant, much to the relief of the youngest one. “Oh you wouldn’t read that thing anyway, why do I bother myself? I study all your tedious documents for a living.” She sighed. “The point is that she knows what she’s doing.”_

_“I’ll be the judge of that.” He waved a hand to Roxy as he walked out of the office followed by the brown-haired woman who shrugged helplessly. Roxy stayed at the office, finishing her little graffiti on the back of the page, writing her name in block letters with a pink pen and whistling a little tune. Whatever those two had to talk about, it wasn’t her business, all she knew was her dad wanted a new bodyguard for some reason._

_As soon as Michael was a good distance away from the office, he let himself relax. He didn’t want his little girl to see how concerned he was about this whole ordeal, and he surely didn’t want to worry her about all those death threats he’d been getting; the main reason for his newly hired armament. He saw Elena catching up with him from the corner of his eye, and rolled his eyes. “I did examine the file, by the way.”_

_“So you did get the joke.” The smug smile was back again, and yet it didn’t bother him. Elena had been such a good friend to him, supporting him when he lost Anna to a dubious airliner crash years ago, and helping him take care of his little one, ensuring she didn’t grow up without a motherly figure. He didn’t know where he was going to be without her or where she might be without him, and he didn’t want to think of it. He smiled in return, tucking his hands in the pockets of his suit’s jacket. “You're so childish, and yet you disapprove of Roxy’s behavior.”_

_There was concern now, hints of it obvious in the tone of her voice. “Speaking of her, she’s not old enough or ready to be involved in your work; you could’ve waited until she finished university.” It was true, Roxy was still a freshman, and already she was helping her father with his taxing work._

_“She doesn’t know anything, I've seen to that. Knowing you, you probably had this kid flown all the way up here just for me. I bet she’s even waiting behind that door.” He beckons towards the large doors dominating the end of the hall, atypically shut._

_“You know me far too well.” The brunette smiled, opening the twin doors and letting them swing open ahead of her. The scene was familiar; it was one of the many conference rooms on hand in the vast building that housed his enterprise. The many chairs surrounding a large table were barren except for one, the closest to the door, and it was occupied by the same person Michael saw in the file discarded in his office, the folder now being turned into a piece of modern art by Roxanne Diamond._

_The one seated at the table rose up at their arrival, standing at attention. Her arms were folded behind her back, a hand nervously working the fabric of her sleeve. Not that they could see anyway. Elena raised a hand and Mike could tell that she was low-key chuckling. “At ease, Zayn. Wow, so much like you, it’s ridiculous.” That last part came as a wily whisper, but he heard it just fine._

_“So,” he said, approaching the youngest, taking her rather unimpressive appearance in. “You’re the one.” He walked slow circles around the candidate, his lackadaisical attitude nothing but a face, and he knew that his right-hand could see through it like a pane of glass. Frankly, this kid didn’t look much like a noodle up close, and she was taller than her age; nearly reaching up to his shoulder when she was only a couple of years older than his little one. “Show me how you wrestle.”_

_“Pardon?”_

_“Take her down,” He gestured to Elena with a little smirk. “And make it look good.” The brown-haired woman snickered as Zayn approached her, looking hesitant. “You can't be serious, her? And how is this little shrimp going to- ACK!” Elena’s rant was cut off by a rapid kick to the backs of her knees, and in seconds, she was on the ground whining in pain as her shoulder was wrenched at an abnormal angle. She struggled for a bit, but the ‘shrimp’ held her in place. “Did that look good?” she asked sheepishly, and Mike doubled over, laughing so hard his stomach hurt. Eventually, and because Elena might murder them both if he humiliated her for longer, he made a little ‘let her go’ motion with his hand._

_“Alright, alright.” He wiped his tears, still grinning as Elena stood up brushing the dust off her clothes and rubbing her sore shoulder while shooting him a lethal glare. “I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to answer me truthfully.”_

_“Yes sir.”_

_“How satisfying was kicking her arrogant ass?”_

_A little flush made its way onto Zayn’s face, and she fidgeted in place, muttering something like “it was kind of fun” while Elena groaned softly in the background, trying to see if her shoulder took any actual damage. Mike smiled to himself at that reply, feeling red-hot glares burn into the back of his head. He put a friendly hand on Zayn’s shoulder, pointing to a set of elevator doors right outside the open double doors._

_“Drop over at the shooting range; they’ll get you all suited up. Work starts at eight-thirty in the morning, so I hope you're an early bird.”_

_The young adult looked up at him in disbelief. “I-I got the job?”_

_“Yup. I'm your boss now.” He patted her on the back, walking out with a thumbs-up to Elena who smoothed her shirt, jabbed him in the shoulder as he went, mouthed ‘what a brat’ and motioned for Zayn to follow her with a unimpressed face._

 

* * *

 

 

“And that’s how I now have to cover old man Michael’s six for a living.” Zayn finished, absently playing with the tips of Rika’s hair. The blonde one was staring at her, amazed by the fact that she singlehandedly brought down a trained forty-year-old private eye.

“I can't believe you beat up Shiro’s mom.” She managed, realizing just how funny it was to send a skilled professional scout sprawling on the floor like a wet fish. She’d seen the woman before, always trying to scold Shiro over something or another and ending up wandering off the point, or shooting Roxy with death glares twenty-four-seven whenever she came within a ten-mile radius of her daughter. Zayn shrugged briefly, and Rika had to be deaf to miss the laugh in her voice. “What? Boss’s orders and she was making fun of me, calling me a shrimp.”

Rika hummed, now laying on her front and losing herself in sapphire eyes. She was quite lean for her age, and she was practically nothing in those strong arms, probably shared the weight of a single washcloth. Those digits kept fiddling with her hair for a while before Zayn’s fingers returned to combing through the locks. “Does your hair just stand up like that?” she asked softly, and outside the rain finished its gradual wait, the downpour recommencing once more. Every noise suddenly seemed amplified by the unexpected droning, but she didn’t really mind.

“Yeah.”

“It’s kinda cute.”

Rika flushed, and her lips moved for a second, forming a silent word, before any sound came out. “Stop joking around.” She was entirely red now, and as she retreated, it faded slowly. Zayn looked outside, avoiding the other’s gaze for a second before she drummed her fingers against the hem of her shirt. “It’s getting late, eh?” she said a bit slowly, feeling the awkwardness increase. As an unwanted riposte, Rika stood up, realizing she had at least spent three hours here, and her first priority became getting home because she couldn’t remember anything she studied, all of the sudden. Turns out spending time with someone as distracting as Zayn can make her, who’s usually wound up tighter than a knotted spring, forget all what was on the forefront of her mind.

“You know, I should probably be on my way--”

“Wait, don’t!” Zayn exclaimed, shooting up into a standing position with her hands up, as if she might try to stop Rika from leaving. The blonde one blinked, taken aback, and Zayn retreated giving her space and trying to make up for her stupid outburst, a little pink tinting her cheeks as she put her hands together. “I m-mean I own a car so I can drive you. Plus, there’s no need for you to waste all your time on that, I have some spare rooms here.”

Well, this was something. Why’d Zayn sound so freaked out over the idea of her leaving, she didn’t know, but every logical part of her screamed at her to _just refuse, she doesn’t want you, at least not in that way._

But here she was, defying all logic in her little personal halfway house, this mystic bubble where the actual world couldn’t reach her. The possibility of this being a dream was not entirely impossible still, she had once dreamed of going through an entire day and convinced herself she invented psychological time travel.

 “You want me to spend the night here?”

“I... um... yeah? Shiro does it all the time, so you don’t need to worry. I mean it’s a lot safer than calling a cab and Roxy probably has whitey-mop over and you do not want to walk in on anything... scandalous.”

Rika couldn’t help but silently agree on the last one, remembering a time when she had returned earlier than usual and was met by the vision of them... making love. She’d had nightmares of them getting her into a dominatrix threesome for over a week after, even after Roxy assured her she wouldn’t even think of it. Her conscious was louder now, demanding, frightened of the other it seemed. _Why are you still here? She doesn’t want you here. Stop fantasizing, and get over it!_

When the voice of her overactive imagination turned into something resembling Shiro’s voice, she took a deep breath, steadying herself. A smile crossed her face, and for once, it didn’t seem as dry and forced as it usually did. “Fine, but you're driving me tomorrow.”

She’d done worse like hallucinating Roxy hanged from a ceiling fan her dorm didn’t have.

Zayn seemed to relax slightly, and tried to smile, but her facial muscles just didn’t seem to comply with her demands. “O-ok, I’ll be right back, just need to make a quick call, ‘kay? You can... do whatever you want. It’s your house.”

“Sure.”

Her friend waved a bit sheepishly, moving towards the adjoining hall before disappearing in a room and pulling out her phone, scrolling through the contacts a bit too quickly before she remembered she didn’t have Roxy’s number and nearly slammed her head against the wall in frustration. She really didn’t want to call Shiro now, especially after what she said before in the lines of ‘fuck you’, but drastic situations called for drastic measures and she really wanted to talk to her semi-boss right now.

“Give me Roxy.”

“Yeah hello to you too Zayn, I'm fine, thanks for asking.” Why was Shiro’s voice uneven, she didn’t know? She had no idea why there was a slight rustling on the line or why the other was so breathless but she hoped it wasn’t what she thought it was. “Now please tell me you didn’t fuck the life out of Rika so I can calm down because I can't put that past you.” Yes, it was what she thought it was.

Damn, those two are so fucking quick.

Choking on her breath and completely flushed, Zayn hissed into the phone, taking care not to let Rika overhear her conversation with her in-the-act friends. “ ** _NO_** you goddamn idiot, I can't do that! We’re just hanging out; it’s not my fault if you’re a pervert.”

The silence across the line indicated that Shiro was mulling over her options, or at least that’s what she hoped the other was doing. “Good enough, but you’re telling me everything you guys did. Every single thing.”

“Like you don’t know already.” Zayn rolled her eyes, not that the other could see anyway. But the line was clicking for a bit, and Roxy’s voice was greeting her. She too was a bit winded. “Don’t mind that goof, Zayn. _I_ trust you and that’s worth a lot.”

“Wow, thanks. Now tell me, what time is Rika’s... thing? Exam? What is it anyway?”

“It’s a final, and the Economics building closes doors on eight sharp, so don’t be late. Is she spending the night at your place? I was wondering why she didn’t show up already.”

“Yeah I was saving her from the trauma.” The chuckle over the line was enough to confirm her suspicions, and she shook her head in disapproval. Such shameless idiots. Her answer is followed by a discreet gasp, and a brief shushing from Roxy. “You're pretty good, we were trying to be quiet, but someone here got too excited.”

“Hey who are you calling excited? You were the one literally all over me, nak--“

If it was any relevant, Zayn was as bright as a beacon, red enough to be mistaken for a stop sign. “I do not wish to discuss your sex life.” She bit out, hoping they wouldn’t forget about her and resume the second round of their ‘activity’ while the line was still open, she didn’t need to be spiritually scarred all over again by gay porn, even if it was just auditory.

“Why fam? Don’t you want to have experience when Rika starts getting all over you?”

“No, I... I have enough. I’ll be seeing you two tomorrow.”  She hung up, getting out of the room and back into the living room where Rika was kneeling next to a wireless motion controller, inspecting it with fascination. “You can have it if you want.” Zayn offered, watching the other stand up, a little surprised that the other had returned so soon, and shake her head.

“No thank you, I just haven’t seen one of these before.” She gestured to the varying consoles, the remote-like controller still in her palm, and then passed it to Zayn who put it back in a drawer. “Didn’t you have video games when you were a kid?” she asked, and to her surprise Rika seemed quite perturbed by the question, her gaze shifting to the household furniture. “No.” she said in monotone, teeth worrying her bottom lip distractedly.

“Touchy subject?”

The blonde one nodded once, obviously not wanting to discuss this personal matter anymore. Her downcast gaze rose to meet the concerned one in Zayn’s eyes, and the apology seemed to tumble out of the other’s mouth ungracefully, crashing onto the floor. “I'm sorry, I didn’t--“

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault.”

Rika smiled briefly at the reassurance, but there seemed to be something else there. Taking a few muffled steps closer, Zayn raised her hand and let it rest on the other’s forearm, a brief touch meant to be comforting, because--

Well, she had a reason there, but it’s gone and she doesn’t bother to pull her hand back, because does she really _need_ a reason? Rika’s brain seemed to shut down, as Zayn was much nearer, she took a tentative step forward as she cut the distance between them, now very, very close.

_‘Hand on her arm’_ levels of close.

She could almost feel the other’s familiar heat burn through her and engulf her entire being just as it did, every single time. She didn’t notice how her anxiety was clearly obvious; people always say that the eyes are the gateway to one’s soul. It was as if she was troubled by an unknown thing that picked at the deeper parts of her mind, and it was as clear as the sun in her blue-flaked eyes. Zayn’d never noticed these before, little flecks of blue almost invisible in perfect yellow orbs, slightly hindered by her own reflection in them, her eyes so wide and _shining_ for some reason. Like a wave or an endless spiral of disorientating hues of liquefied gold, it draws her down and leaves her mind blank except for the idea that _you know what, at this closeness, you might as well just kiss her already._

The blush she thought she banished before returned at full force at the unexpected notion.

They are both staring at each other, taking in the finer facets in absolute, undying silence. Like the fairer, sharper tips of Rika’s hair or the little scar under Zayn’s left eye, the way the blonde fights an urge to reach out to Zayn or the way the other’s eyes keep glancing to soft petal lips, the flicker of shame that appears in cerulean orbs and the single step they both think they should take back. They’re both educated, even though their level of education may differ, and they both know that time is consistent. It moves forward at a steady pace and any differences in measurements are varying, related to an individual’s own perception.

To them now, time has ceased completely despite that this is goddamn cliché and in the background, somewhere offs downstairs, an alarm clock just ticks past twelve. This is truly the renowned effect of the twilight zone, or perhaps fate is finally getting back at them. Rika stares at the subtle evidence of a scar under one eye and the not so subtle confusion in them, and for once, she looks defensive, indignant still at the question Zayn asked a few minutes ago, although it now feels like at least fifty years or so had passed. Or is it because Zayn is staring at her too?

“What?” she asks and yes, it’s the staring.

“N-nothing, it’s nothing.”

Words are usually very easy and suddenly they're so, so difficult.

Time is still frozen in their little limbo, but the shorter one (Even if it were only by a few centimeters) wishes it could go on again, because it would mean moving on and away from this stressful, bewildering moment. Even if she isn’t sure of what she feels, she knows very well that it’s not meant to be. Realization hits, cold and hard, and she mutters a brief apology, retracting her hand as if scorched.

_She doesn’t know._

And then, they both resume what they were planning on doing, both taking different directions as Rika finds home on the sofa while Zayn turns on the TV, deep in thought. What she’s thinking of is that she knows what she’s up to is down in the deepest levels of sinful acts. Really, Rika’s just a friend, but deep down Zayn knows she desires more of her, more of this, whatever it is. What is it anyway, is it love? Reassurance? A comfort to the near-constant emptiness in her chest? The train of thought is blocked, seized by the flickering weakness the notion she can never entertain as she sits down next to the other, focusing on the movie she randomly picked out, which turned out to be a washed out foreign romantic she got from her parents’ house when she moved out, of all the genres. Oh great, why didn’t her hand pick out a volume of her horror movie collection instead? The movie isn’t really interesting anyway, just a twisted love story about a mother of three and a man with loads of cash and his adopted son.

A few more minutes into ‘half-assed subtitles and chill’, and Rika falls asleep, unknowingly leaning against the other’s shoulder.


	7. Smoke And Mirrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro and Roxy meet up with Rika at the Economics building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cue la gay*  
> Blue birb is here my dudes!

The mattress Rika was sleeping on was soft. Too soft to be hers, that’s for sure. Even the covers felt like silk, and there was a presence moving here and there, little flashes through the half-closed door. Muted footsteps padded across a carpeted floor, something touched her hair, and it smoothed against the side of her face gently, muttering something that she couldn’t fathom at first, and it took her a couple of minutes to understand. Whatever it was, it had such a nice accent.

“... --up sleepy head, come on. Wake up, time for the big event.”

How about five more minutes? Please? Her brain begged, but she let her eyes open, just a crack, just so she could see who it was, and felt her entire world flip upside down. Zayn was next to her bed, wearing dark black uniform pants with a white shirt half-unbuttoned, a matching jacket draped over her shoulders, her messy hair tied up in an even messier ponytail, and for some reason she smelled like lavender. Now that Rika thought of it, her hair was hastily dried, and steam was wafting through the hall. Did she take a shower? When did she even have time? “About time lazybones, it’s almost six-thirty. You need to get up if you want to reach that final in time.”

 “Just... G-give me a minute, I’ll be right up.” With Zayn hopefully mistaking her little flustered stammer for lethargy, the early one shrugged. “Alright, your clothes are on that table, and do try to hurry up. The drive to the Economics building is a bit longer than usual; the radio said there’s traffic on route 4B, something about a long-ass detour, roadwork... the usual.” And then she hurried out, looking for her boots and closing the door behind her. It took a pretty long time for Rika to just stop staring at the open doorway, get out of bed, and realize she was in a cobalt pair of pajamas that weren’t hers. She stared down at herself for a minute, placing her hands on her hips and muttering to herself as she went over to retrieve her pair of skinny jeans. “Ok. I’m wearing her clothes. That’s not gay at all, Rika. Not gay at all.”

“I think we figured out just how gay you are yesterday.” Called Zayn from the hallway, and the other pulled her sweater over her head as she wore it, a futile attempt to hide the immense color flooding her face. She’d forgotten about that little detail. _Speaking of details..._ She thought. _Who told her I had a final?_ Rika tied the laces on her sneakers, having withdrew them from Roxy’s destructive grasp earlier, and walked out of the room with the intent of asking Zayn how did she knew about that facet of information. Her thoughts were aligned in that perspective, when her eyes fall on the older one who’s fully dressed, the uniform seemingly doing things as it hugged her slender form, and she was busy adjusting her collar in front of a mirror Rika’d never seen before for some reason to notice the other. In that moment, she pauses, and all of her thoughts are replaced by _Zayn looks good in a guard’s uniform._

Then that little thought is eliminated by an unexpected modest blush and _holy crap did I just think that? That’s like... doubly gay._

“You ready?”

Rika nods, zipping up her jacket as she blinks for a minute, hoping she didn’t see the little smirk she thought she saw. The moment they got into the car, they sped out down the driveway and into the highway. Perhaps it was her eyes playing tricks on her, but Rika swore she could feel Zayn’s eyes on her when the car stopped at an intersection, insane traffic being the cause. The clock on the dashboard said 7:22, but they were only a few miles away from the university. “Aren't you going to work?” Rika asked, memorizing the license plate of a nearby BMW in an attempt to avoid meeting the other’s gaze that seemed to be focused on the cars ahead. “Got enough time for both,” was the reply as the traffic dissipated and then came the quirky cheekiness she expected. “But you don’t want to be late for your big _finale_ now, ain’t that right?” Did she wink? Hm, probably.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you,” More roadwork, just what they needed. “How did you know about the final?” Zayn wheeled the car into a different way, and took a side route through much smaller, emptier streets. The tall towers of the Fine Arts Academy still loomed ahead, not hindered by the slightest because of the boxy, tile-roofed houses. A few kids played with a battered football in a nearby alley, laughing amongst themselves, and Rika watched them for a few seconds before she caught herself and looked quickly away. “Asked Roxy.” Zayn answered quietly after they took a slow left turn, passing into a small tunnel under the intersection, and Rika couldn’t help but smile. “Let me guess, you got more than you asked for.”

A slight shiver crossed Zayn’s slender form. “Much, much more.” And Rika laughed in response. The path widened after a few left turns and they were soon driving into the North entrance’s car park, the nearest to the Economics Building. It had just become 7:48, but she could see the large construct from here and the little forms of Shiro and Roxy walking near the entrance hall from here, talking to someone, it looked like.

Zayn’s shoulders slumped as the engine gave its signature hiss, and Rika looked over at her as the door locks clicked open. “Thanks for driving me here, I really appreciate it.” Her gaze flickered to the digital clock, a bit surprised at how little time she had left. 7:51.

“You're welcome. If you ever need anything, just call me.”

Rika’s cheeks filled with color at the idea, but she managed to say something so that was development from the blushing, spluttering mess she was a couple of days ago. She pulled out her phone, frowning at it as it had personally harmed her. “I don’t have it, I think.” Moments after she’d spoken, Zayn leaned a bit over the divider between their seats and, with a knowing smirk and the words “here you go”, put her number in, leaving the privilege of saving it to the other who just sat there, heart beating so violently that Zayn just might see it bursting out of her chest. She was so close to the other, Rika could even sense her perfume from here, and it smelled like heaven. Their faces were so close too, so what came next wasn’t quite shocking or unexpected, but Rika still panicked all the same. Zayn kissed her, on the cheek now mind you, although it was more to the corner of her mouth, and it had ended as soon as it had begun but the feeling still lingered.

Inside, Rika singlehandedly experienced the full effect of the apocalypse, but on the outside she was perfectly immobile, composed even. She glanced sideways to be met by sparkling blue eyes and a devious grin. Their fingers were entwined again and this time it felt worse than ever.

 “Good luck out there.”

 

* * *

 

 

Shiro narrowed her eyes at the approaching little speck of yellow-topped black and leaned back in the bench she was sitting on, tapping her cigarette to the handle lazily and watching the ashes hit the earth. “Our little scoundrel is here.” She said to Roxy who was just finishing her conversation with a noticeably short woman in an indigo coat, who stared at her leaving form before rewrapping her arm around the clipboard clutched to her chest. Shiro exhaled the smoke slowly as Roxy came up to her, a look of sheer condemnation focused on the other’s slowly lethal reprieve before she spoke. “I can see, but don’t worry. Little miss work-a-lot here still has time and thanks to that girl right there, we’re going to find out what went down with her.” She jerked her thumb backwards, and the whitette tilted her head slightly.

“How so?” Shiro asked, but Rika jogged in before Roxy could say anything looking frantic, and a bit red. “Am I late? Please tell me I’m not late! They didn’t close the doors didn’t they?!” She made her way to the door, but Roxy reached out and gently took hold of her arm. “Relax,” She said, smiling as a sign of comfort. “We’re good.”

“What do you mean?” Rika said, a bit shakily, and both of them knew that wasn’t just from exam stress. “I went to talk with the administrator, and -shocker- she’s one of Zayn’s old school buddies. She was doing our friend a favor and put your name on hold for a bit until you're ready.” Roxy said, and for once, she seemed have a second meaning there as she smiled wickedly at the surprised and a bit blushing Rika. “And you just let her?”

“Hey, she’s really nice and speaks of that fool like she’s some sort of earth-walking angel, so I figured it’s pretty safe to believe her words.” Roxy defended herself well, and Shiro got up, extinguishing the reminder of her cigarette. “What happened back there?”

“Back where?”

“Oh come on, Freddy. We’re not idiots.” Shiro teased, earning a jab from the fuming woman who repeated yet another one of her “don’t you dare call me this again” reprimands before growing silent. “Can we go inside?” Roxy suggested, “It’s getting cold.”

“Yeah, let’s do that.” Rika began heading to the main hall, and the others caught up with her in no time. Roxy stopped for a second to talk to the admin who seemed quite surprised with her appearance, and the other two found a seat for themselves at a vacant table as Shiro pulled back a chair for Rika to sit in.

“Thanks.” She said, before Shiro sat down opposite from her, her chin resting on one palm and curiosity in her eyes. It wasn’t a surprise, despite her professional personality Shiro was always one for gossip, and perhaps that’s why she was considering chasing her mother’s career as a private investigator. Long story short, Shiro just _loved_ meddling in other people’s business like an overzealous sociopath. God, even the fiery expectation in her eyes was burning through Rika’s skull like white-hot forceps of iron. “Well I... I, um... Gah, fine, might as well say it anyway.” Rika took a deep breath, setting herself for the consequences of her words. “She kissed me.”

The reply she got was a blank stare of disbelief before the words registered and Shiro was practically screaming “WHAT THE FUCK” at the top of her lungs, but to be honest she never made it to the profanity. Rika had helpfully smacked her hand across Shiro’s mouth, effectively silencing the older one, and all the students at the main hall just assumed it was another freshman who just figured out they’ve been going to the wrong building and the wrong lectures for two weeks straight. Despite this fact, she nearly caused a scene; Shiro set her hands on the table and leaned forward like a caged beast, whispering threatingly. “The. Fuck. Happened. Between. You. Two.”

“Nothing, I swear!” Rika’s hands were up now, in defense, and Shiro took the hint to give the younger one some space. In that little interval, Roxy appeared, took her own chair and sat down, looking confused at why Shiro looked like she was going to pass out. The whitette filled her in silently on the situation, and when hearing about the whole kiss matter she blinked for a few seconds, completely dumbfounded, before she turned to Rika. “Hold up, w-was it a lip kiss or like, y’know, friendly-kiss-on-the-cheek sort of thing?”

As an answer, Rika silently pointed at the corner of her mouth.

“Holy shit.” Roxy said, staring at her girlfriend and then back at the blonde one who shifted a bit in her seat, this sounded too much like interrogations for her liking and she didn’t appreciate the way those two acted. “Holy shit is right, do you two realize what this means?”

“Zaynab is gay.”

“Yeah she is--... “ Roxy stopped mid-sentence, glancing back at Shiro. “Wait what? She didn’t give you a heads-up before you guys began hanging out?” In response, the whitette shrugged, and for once, the all-knowing-snowflake herself didn’t know what to say. “Nope, I just figured she wasn’t, you know. She doesn’t exactly look like your everyday rainbow.”

“Does _anyone_ look like an everyday rainbow?” Roxy jumped in, feeling left out as Rika had a minor meltdown in her chair.

“No,” Shiro frowned, looking at the table’s peeling paint, and appearing a bit irked. “Mom is right; I _do_ need to work on my personality examination skills.”

“Boy howdy, Ri you're in a fix.” Roxy shook her head, checking her watch. “You’ve got bigger fish to fry than that dumb test.”

“You think?” Rika buried her face in her hands letting out an undignified ‘ugh’ as Shiro still found complexity in considering the possibility of Zayn being gay. “I don’t know what to believe now. As far as I'm concerned, yesterday was probably all about dropping oceans of hints on me.”

“Maybe sleeping at her house was what would be considered approval?” the cynicism was practically dripping from the whitette’s words, and Rika glared at her even though she was borderline panicking at the idea. “Shiro don’t say stuff like this.” She groaned, “You’re going to make things worse.”

“Don’t you like her?” Roxy interjected, with her trademark ingenuousness. “Why not asking her about it?”

“Roxy, no.” Both said in unison, shooting her with looks. The pinkette fell silent, leaned back in her seat, and watched the two argue, her gaze focused on something by the door and a plan forming in her mind. Right now, she had plenty of things to discuss with that something.

 

* * *

 

 

Zaynab hopped up the stairs, looking quite satisfied at what went down yesterday and the little stunt she tried out at the car park today. Oh, Rika was so oblivious but so aware at the same time and this is precisely the way Zayn wanted to keep things going.

The look on her face was absolutely precious, poor thing looked like she was going to black out from a mere kiss.

She was just waiting for Sajeda to text her from the Economics building; tell her how things were going and how Rika was going to react to the tiny ‘favor’ from her. It wasn’t a coincidence that her previous classmate worked at the university, venerated Zayn, and would never refuse a request from her, so the taller one made sure to call her and work things out a few days ago. Zayn flopped down on her still unmade bed - just the one Rika slept in yesterday - not even bothering to change from her uniform and remembered fondly how the other mumbled a few words to her when Zayn carried her here -another sign Rika was meant for her-. She considered the possibility of playing a little bit more with Rika, as it was really fun to bring a blush to her face and a smile to those pretty lips, only for her phone to chirp happily at an incoming text, as if it were as overcome with anticipation as she was.

 **All done.** The text read, and she sighed at the screen with relief.

_How’s Rika managing?_

**How about: not managing at all? She’s totally wrecked by your games; do go easy on her Zayn.** Wow, were her nerves that frayed? Rika was really as awkward as Shiro liked to say, although the whitette must've exaggerated a couple of details, she always did so. It was really nice of Sajeda to say that, though, to worry about the other’s wellbeing even if it were for nothing but helping out Zayn. She wasn’t to blame; Rika was a sensitive one, industrious on the outside and a little delicate being on the inside, just Zayn’s type.

_After I seal the deal. Help me out here a little; keep her in sight ‘kay?_

**Will do.**

And Zayn hugged the soft pillows splayed around her, forgetting that she might be late as she felt excitement bubbling within her, and thinking of all the times she would spend and things she could do with her new girlfriend. And the best part was that this time, things were different. The blonde-haired woman was wrapped helplessly around her finger, and even Shiro’s crazy interventions and Roxy’s parental influence weren’t taking her away. Rika would never know anything about her, and it was going to stay this way. Heh, how could Zayn even hate Shiro now, right? A few days ago and thanks to the aloof whitette, her life was nothing but junk food, video games, and flirting with unsuspecting girls at wedding parties and internet forums. Now, she had someone she just longed for to be hers, and her existence was complete again. Heck, a few days ago, Shiro was terrified at the possibility of Zayn dating one of her associates, and now here she was, just seconds away from claiming a lover who just happened to be the roommate of that dork’s girlfriend.

Well Shiro, Mission Accomplished you little goof.

Grabbing her sidearm from where she kept it in a locked closet, Zayn made her way to the Mercedes once more, making a mental note to be a lot nicer to Shiro’s mother when she showed up at work today.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey there.”

Raising her gaze from the clipboard, Zayn’s accomplice -and unsuspecting lapdog- flinched a bit at the appearance of Roxy only inches from her, smiling ominously as her pink hair seemed to swirl around her like serpents. They were standing next to the still open door, and the wind was getting stronger by the minute. Being nearly 4.11 feet in height, tall people made Sajeda nervous, but the pinkette literally towered above her like a goddamn skyscraper so not panicking was not an easy task at the moment as anxiety boiled in her stomach. Roxy leaned against the wall, and gestured to the hordes of students filtering through the open doors ahead. “Busy day today, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, things are like this during finals.” Her voice had a velvety tranquility to it, and her arms were crossed now in a subtly defensive stance; everything about her seemed to declare confidentiality in raised streamers and blaring sirens.

Despite all that, Roxy remained rooted to the spot, and, although the other couldn’t notice, her smile widened ever so slightly. “So, you’ve been through that kind of rush before?” The shorter one nodded quickly, eager to get out of Roxy’s nerve-racking presence and back to the safety of Zayn’s home and welcoming embrace. As if reading her thoughts, Roxy seemed to inch closer. “How’s Zayn? I haven’t seen her in a while.”

Roxy’s crimson eyes scanned the other’s expressionless face, watching as Sajeda literally trembled for a second, attempting desperately to hold her unwavering pretense together. This, this situation was bad. Not only was she asking about Zayn, but also Roxy seemed knowing of Zayn’s presence here. All this time, Sajeda had been in the dark about this whole situation until her favorite person emerged out of nowhere asking for support. The dazzling rush that came to her upon speaking to the older one was narcotic, and she missed it too dearly to question Zayn’s requests. Had she done something wrong?

“T-the-- I mean, s-she’s fine. Just fine.” The tremor in her voice disappeared as her tone shifted into something aggravated. “I know her better than everyone else.”

The second most influential person in the world shrugged nonchalantly. “If you say so, little one.” She said, waving a hand dismissively.

_Little one? What- did she just poke fun at my height?_

“I do. I've known her for over ten years!” At the moment, the shorter one was practically struggling for self-control, Roxy was thoughtlessly treading into sensitive territory, and she didn’t appreciate the way her patience was being tested. The pinkette’s eyes gleamed at the answer, as if she’d just caught a rare bird.

“Is that so? What _do_ you know about her?”

“Well I know is that she’s getting a girlfriend and got a job as Michael Diamond  personal bodyguard--” the shorter one spoke arrogantly, nose in the air as she expressed the vast scope of her own knowledge, apparently proud of how much she was close to Zayn that the words rolled out of her mouth like an endless stream. She talked and talked, unknowingly giving the pinkette just what she wanted. “And that’s a lot more than you’d ever know.” She finished, not noticing how the other’s attitude seemed unmoved by her words. In fact, Roxy smiled patiently, and gave the other a little pat on the shoulder. “Well, you weren’t kidding, that _is_ a lot of information you just released to me.”

_Oh no._

Sajeda was reaching levels of shock that shouldn’t be possible. She stares at Roxy in between bewilderment and light resentment at being tricked so easily; now stunned into silence. Roxy was still smiling, seemingly proud of herself, smoothly walking away from the staggering one who, right now, desired nothing more than to go downright crazy on this woman. In the distance, Rika walked into the subsections of the hall, the albino she was with from before trying to sedate her overwrought anxiety.

But then she paused, calling after Roxy. “Wait!”

Roxy paused, but didn’t turn to face Sajeda in a way of intimidation that was very much working right now. “D-don’t tell her. Don’t tell h-her I s-s-said that.” The way her voice quivered was downright pathetic, but she couldn’t help it.

The woman turned around, tapping a finger to her chin in a faked contemplative expression. “I wasn’t planning on that anyway, but the idea sounds pretty appealing.”

“I’ll tell you everything! Everything you need to know about Rika and Zayn’s--“

“You know about Rika?” Roxy finally let her disbelief show, her brows were raised, and the shorter one bit her lip, overcome with shame at her previous actions. “Zayn tells me everything; I don’t want her to be upset with me.”

“Alright then.” That scheming smile was back, and it was then she knew, she fucked up.

“I think we can work something out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be prepared for chapter 8, "In The Dark"!


	8. In the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rika decides to start her own inquiries.

Rika let her forehead rest on the smooth, cold tiles of the bathroom wall as water cascaded down her shoulders and soaked her hair, steam wafting through the air. Taking a shower had always helped her relax, but now she just felt like she had too much shit to sort through and too little time for judgment. However, she was upset with Zayn, and wanted desperately to just tell that woman what did she think of her.

Which wasn’t necessarily awful, Rika just didn’t like being unapprised.

Yes, the recent events, despite being diverse in temperament and baffling in effects have helped her work on solving her dilemma, but she still felt like she’s stuck in thick mist. Her conflicted feelings weren’t helping either, she just wanted to be angry but couldn’t, for an internal cause she couldn’t begin to grasp, and she desperately hoped she wasn’t going to fall in love.

Especially not with this, this possessive, underhanded Zayn.

She preferred the time when she didn’t know anything about her, when she wasn’t sure whether she was just a retired soldier or a rebellious guardian.

Roxy had dug up dirt on Zayn and her ‘tricks’ and it all seemed familiar for some reason, but like always Rika shunned these thoughts before they reached the surface. At first, she had been surprised, then worried, then sad but resentful. The way Zayn was acting confused her tremendously, and what that short kid said wasn’t helping. Just hearing her say how nobody knew Zayn the way she did seemed to slash holes in Rika’s stomach, and the way she spoke of the taller one tended to be quite the way... an analyst would.

_“To be honest, Zayn’s a bit... zany, for the lack of a better word; she’s just trying to make sure you were right for her in her own unusual ways.”_

Therein lays the falsehood, or that’s what she liked to think.

For starters, Zayn was the entrepreneur type, and she wasn’t terrified of anything, or at least that’s what Rika have been seeing from her, but that might’ve been an act too. Just like that incident at the car park that left her feeling woozy, but in a good way, and made questions fill her mind. Why did she even need to validate Rika’s feelings anyway? Couldn’t she have just jumped into it? What was making her so afraid? The idea of rejection? Denial? Didn’t she want Rika to know about the love she harbored for her? Above all, how did Rika _herself_ feel about this?

The hot, almost scalding water fails to vaporize her feelings into the rising haze like usual, and she turns it off. Nothing of her standard routine could help her deal with the strain of comprehending a perplexing woman; it was all designed to tend to normal worries like work, studies, and Roxy’s reckless breach of yet another dozen of rules and regulations.

Is this the way she was going to go down? Diminishing to the whims of a multifaceted lady?

Rika groaned as she got dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants, feeling the first signs of a delirious headache strike her mercilessly as she rubbed a hand at her temple, sitting on her bed. That was her reward for devouring three mega-sized cans of Monster in under an hour with a ton of ice cream; she certainly wasn’t going to try that again. Moonlight filtered through the gaps in clouds forming a thin mantle above, streaming through half-closed windows, illuminating the dark room, save for a few remote corners. Well, all of those shower resolutions were enough thinking for today, she was too strained because of lack of sleep and the fact she had no idea what to do. Even scowling was making her skull ache, and the all but inaudible breathing of Roxy was not calming her down as it typically did.

Acid sounded very tempting right now, if she hadn’t quit at her first year with the help of her makeshift support group, Shiro and her mother were finally useful in something other than sticking their noses in stuff they shouldn’t be for once. Heck, even Roxy had given her own amount of support when her roommate was on the dangerous brink of withdrawal. They’d all made her quit even when she didn’t want to, and even when she got violent in defense of this dangerous habit. Her past self loved the high, loved how it felt to lapse into that surreal trip across the universe, and that younger version apparently didn’t like the way her ‘friends’ were trying to take that single pleasure away from her. The massive boost she earned helped her deal with the taxing life she lead, and she didn’t seem to be bothered with her ‘crashes’ that sent her unconscious seconds later, dealing with it as the unavoidable aftermath of her high as well as the mood swings. The memory makes her shudder for a second, remembering how she’d tried to choke Shiro to death and nearly succeeded if only Roxy didn’t intervene.

Speak of the devil; the pinkette was just sitting up in bed, rubbing her eyes with worry written all over her features. “Ri? You’re still awake?” her voice sounded a bit rough, and the words took some effort to voice, which only indicated the other was beginning to fall ill. That wasn’t much unexpected; Roxy had been spending too much time breathing in the frosty air of December. Rika groaned in reply, wincing as the ache in her head increased rapidly. Her eyes are shut but it doesn’t make much difference, she can barely even see right now. Soft thumps alert her to the fact Roxy’s gotten out of bed, and the minor depression of the mattress is another sign that the other’s sitting next to her. When the blonde-haired woman finally manages to regain her sight, she meets the gaze in Roxy’s concerned orbs and looks away, feeling blameworthy, she’d woken her ill friend at this hour for no obvious reason.

“I can't sleep.” The sentence is short and barely perceptible but the pink-haired woman understands, responding with a hum as she rubs Rika’s shoulder with a somewhat careful, comforting hand. “What’s bothering you?” she asks, subtly drawing the other closer to her as an indication of reassurance. “Y-you’re usually asleep at this hour.” True, it was almost two-thirty in the morning, and at regular times, Rika would’ve been fast asleep, drooling over her pillow, a leg poking out from under her blanket, but these weren’t regular times.

“I'm just... I don’t get it, Roxy.” Rika buried her face in her hands again, and despite her best efforts, emotions were bubbling to the surface, battling for control as the faintest traces of tears stung at the corners of her eyes. “Why’d she lie to me? Why do all of this, when she could’ve just asked?” Roxy doesn’t ask whom, she knows whom Rika is referring to; they had been discussing this matter all day even after Shiro headed back home. She coughs a bit, and Rika winces at how awful it sounded.

“Maybe she doesn’t know how.”

The suggestion is, for once, plausible, and far too logical to be coming out of Roxy, which is a surprise.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Roxy adjusts her position so she can face the other, not knowing what to say. Shiro usually dealt with these kinds of things while she stood at the sidelines, shooting a snide remark now and then as participation, plus the way the words felt like sandpaper raking her throat wasn’t helping much. “Perhaps Zayn doesn’t know how to ask.”

Rika looked incredulous, her face expressionless save for an arched eyebrow. “Doesn’t know?”

“Do you think she’s even had a girlfriend before? It’s very unlikely, think about it.” Roxy shrugged innocently as she looked away, but the blonde-haired one’s gaze kept focused ahead. In an instant, Shiro’s typed words crossed her mind. _She didn’t want to talk about it or her time there._ Everything was falling together now, whether it was Zayn’s behavior or the past couple of days, and Rika knew precisely what to do. She had to get information, proof.

As the clouds dissipated, the moonlight shed light on her predicament.

“Do you think Shiro’s still awake?”

“Probably, she stays up late to check on Elena.” Roxy’s gaze diverts to the ground, and Rika knows not to ask. The words are enough to remind her of the fact that--

“Oh, right.” Without warning or even awareness, Rika begins picking at the skin of her fingers slowly, a long-time habit she was no longer cognizant of. “God, how long has it been, a year?” there is no need for identification, the subject has been up for so long that it had become as mediocre as discussing the weather. That is, if discussing the weather left you feeling sad and empty within, and brought a guilt-ridden quiver to your voice.

“Give or take. Why? What does she have to do with this?”

“Everything, Roxy. Everything.”

 

* * *

 

 

Shiro’s footsteps echoed in the hall of her house as she got out of her bedroom, the place silent save for a few quiet taps and illegible mumbles from a half-open door. She had come back here for the weekend; Mike had been showing some concerns about her mother that needed looking into. Florescent light pooled out into the dark hallway, and gently, the whitette opened the door to find her mother seated at her desk working on a laptop. A pile of papers sat, neatly arranged in a taupe file marked with a small ‘P’ next to the device that was open to two blank pages, one on which Elena was writing on in black ink, and Shiro sighed inwardly at the familiar sight.

It wasn’t a rare occurrence that she’d wake up in the middle of the night, only to find her mother working on something or another, but after the past year, these times increased rapidly to the point Shiro would go to Elena’s office in the morning only to find her passed out on the desk, still fully dressed. She knew well why her parent tortured herself like this; spending countless hours working nonstop, and the fact it’s only been a year made something within her wrench excruciatingly at the thought.

Apparently, her entry did not go unnoticed because as Elena folded the file she was writing on closed, she turned around to acknowledge her deeply concerned daughter. “Honey, you’re awake.” The false smile plastered on her face was overwrought with exhaustion and guilt, and Shiro walked deeper inside, testing the waters, feeling a certain tension in the room and a dreadful anxiety tearing apart her insides. She’d never confronted her mother about all this work, knowing how she’d react, and she wasn’t planning to let anything slip for the sake of her parent. “Yeah. I wanted to find something and... I thought I should keep you company, Mom.” She says, taking a seat at a chair that was placed in front of the desk and glancing at the papers. “So, is that...?”

“The work I was supposed to do three days ago? Yeah.” She gave a little, tasteless laugh. “Thank god Michael’s been giving me some room, but it _is_ doing wonders to my work; I'm really slacking.” The woman puts a hand up to her brow as she near-glares at her work, and Shiro would’ve laughed if she weren’t in a situation like this. Her mother, Slacking? Give me a break. She practically works weeks ahead, her nose always to the grindstone.

“Whatever you say.” The whitette says, a bit too apathetic, and Elena stops mid-word, before dropping the pen with a loud clank.

Shiro looks up, and the fear churns in her innards is like no other as she tries to say something, to reach out, but Elena gets herself together before her daughter can do anything and it’s dreadful, the way she stares vacantly at Shiro’s face, seeing a different image altogether. They both know whom, but both can never manage to tell. The look in those eyes is so familiar, is this the way she looked like when--?

When Elena speaks again, her voice shudders for a second, as if she’s struggling with her words.

“Were you looking for something?”

“Yeah, I wanted to take a second look at a file of yours...” Shiro trails off, noting how exhausted her mother looks, feeling guilty at the state Elena had worked herself into, how the pain burns in her black eyes. “But it can wait, you must be tired--“

“No, no.” Elena gets up from her chair, moving to the cabinet with unease in her movements as thin fingers scan through loads of files. “W-which one do you want?”

“It’s a bit old, the one for Mike’s bodyguard, Zaynab.”

And once again, Shiro pretends she didn’t see the way her mother hesitated all of a sudden before pulling the aforementioned file from one of the shelves. “Be careful with it.” It’s a heavy file, thick with plenty of reports, and Shiro has to hold it in both hands if she wanted to make it back to her room.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

And they slip back into the usual routine of subtle concerns and masked despondency.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, Roxy wakes up to a chilly wind striking against the skin of her back and a cruel aching in her throat, as if it was filled with thousands upon thousands of glass shards. With an angry, indistinct abrasive huff and a shiver, she adjusts her position, sinking fully under the sheets to relax against the warmth next to her. It’s a lot more comforting than the icy air, and she lays on it, the malleable fabric is soft to the touch. It has a nice heartbeat too, beating lightly against her arm that’s wrapped around it, whatever it is...

_Wait, heartbeat?_

And when Roxy opens her eyes, she is greeted by the sight of Rika sleeping in her bed, right next to her. They’re even tangled together, and the pinkette giggles quietly at how adorable her roommate looks with that messed-up hair or the arm that’s around Roxy’s shoulders. Right, yesterday was pretty rough and Rika couldn’t sleep so, just like usual, they had to sleep next to each other for the blonde-haired woman to get the sensory comfort she needed, and was denied from for so long. This type of thing had happed far too often for Roxy to consider it such a big deal, Rika however, would probably be steering fifty miles away from this whole thing before it even started, despite being arguably the best hugger the world’s ever seen.

It was just too sweet if you asked Roxy.

As if on cue, Rika stirs with a soft groan, and subconsciously shifts closer to the pinkette who just lets her do her thing. It was rare that her roommate ever gave cuddles but when she did, she made them worth it, everybody liked to rest with her. There was something comforting about her whole essence; it was almost as if she was the perfect balance between them all.

Rika was warmer than Shiro, softer than Roxy and also tended to be exciting, to voice ideas, make observations, and break the silence when it got too weary. Right now, the tranquility was just what they needed; words were too thick and unnecessary and are liable to be a serious pain. Almost too soon, the blonde-haired one’s eyes began to flutter open, golden irises going over Roxy’s grinning face before closing once more. Rika settled down serenely for a minute as it were very ordinary to wake up with the sole successor of a multi-billionaire next to you, and then abruptly jolted upright, doing the world’s most dramatic double take.

“R-Roxy? What are you doing **\--WHAT AM I DOING HERE?”**

“Yeesh, calm down.” Roxy laughs, snuggling up to her and ignoring when Rika looks absolutely horrified. The elder one tries to shy away, growling quietly when Roxy shows no signs of stopping. “Roxy, STOP.” She says as her hands try to push away Roxy in the most unsuccessful attempt seen by history, those palms barely even touching the pinkette who declares that she “Don’t wanna,” much to Rika’s horror. She really didn’t want to catch whatever heinous germ her roommate had caught.

“W-w-what did we do l-last night?”

“Absolutely nothing, which was what I was trying to tell you before you had a massive breakdown.”

“I did _not_ have a massive breakdown.” Fractious, Rika got out of Roxy’s embrace, making the shorter one pout as she watched her sat on the edge of the bed. “Aw, come on Ri, what’s wrong with cuddling?”

“Are you serious? It’s awful!” The blonde-haired woman groaned, trying to fix her disrupted, default hairdo and pausing as Roxy crawled out of under the sheets and sat next to her. “Well you seemed to like it back in dreamland.” She says, ignoring the way her innocent remark brought a blush to the other’s face and a grumble to her throat.

“Let’s say no more about it.” Rika declares, getting up and walking to her closet, trying to find something proper to wear. “Argh, Rika!” The pinkette sounds upset as her voice ascends briefly into a whine similar to a broken record, which is bizarre considering how she’s one of the cheeriest people Rika knows. “Don’t do that.” Roxy now sat cross-legged on the mattress, an unusual frown replacing her usually cheerful posture.

“Do what?”

“That thing when you tell me ‘let’s say no more about it’, you always do that when we argue, and when I start to actually enjoy it you throw that stupid phrase in!”

In response, Rika looks away as she turns her interest to a shirt that’s probably too big for her. “Alright then, if you really wanna know.” She puts the item of clothing on, before digging for pants among Roxy’s endless pairs of them that were littered everywhere. “It was pretty nice.” Behind her, not that she can see anyway, Roxy gasps before grabbing her phone that rested on the counter and tapping on it, bringing it closer to her roommate’s turned back. “I didn’t hear you right, say again?”

“I said that this hugging thing was nice for once, ok?” She turns around just in time to see Roxy replaying the now recorded phrase, eyes widening. “Roxy!” She reaches out to grasp the phone only for the pinkette to jump behind the bed, effectively hiding out of the other’s sight.

“Hold up, you’ll thank me later!” A telltale chirp sounds from the device, and then Roxy darts out of her hiding place, only to be met by a burning glare that sears through her very being. “What did you do, you little wretch?” Rika wrenches the phone out of Roxy’s loose hold and begins scrolling through the recent texts. In response to the insult, the shorter one shakes her head, hands on her hips, looking like a parent scolding their child. “That’s not a nice thing to say, Rika.”

“You sent it to...“ Rika’s voice fades as she stares at the phone screen, her finger frozen in place and her mouth hanging open before Roxy closes it with a palm in a friendly gesture. “Yup.” She states, before going to get dressed in something more comfortable than day-old jeans and a t-shirt as if nothing’s ever happened. The blonde stands at her place, shocked into paralysis, but Roxy doesn’t seem to mind until she realizes Rika’s stepping on one of the legs of her favorite pants.

“Come on Ri, snap out of it.” Roxy snaps her fingers in front of the other’s face repeatedly, flinching when her hand is gripped suddenly by Rika’s own, the blonde still twitching subtly. “Why. Why.” She says, almost numbly, and Roxy uses her other hand, gently prying the other’s fingers off, all while keeping an eye on her phone.  “You needed the push, now you’ll have an icebreaker.” The pinkette rubs her slightly smarting hand, but she didn’t really mind the rough treatment, it was an inseparable part of who Rika was and was all what she knew growing up, and Roxy had to accept that, like it or not. “I hate you.” Rika mumbles before getting out of the dorm room and heading to Shiro’s, she really needed to see the older one right now.

As she left, Roxy stares at the half-open door and slowly shakes her head, disappointed in Rika, Shiro and basically everyone. She flops into bed, almost cursing her fragile immunity system and kicks the covers over herself.

_I guess nobody ever listens to me, isn’t that right?_

* * *

 

 

Deft, snow-white fingers flipped through numerous pages, looking for something other than schedules and behavior reports. A notepad rested next to the open file, the page full of illegible scribbles, and Shiro groaned as she kicked back in her chair, sighing as she glared at the file in front of her with a deep blaze in ruby eyes. She’d came back to her dorm room after her endeavors with her mother turned out unsuccessful, and the fascinating array of disappointments seemed to trail her here. She’d dug through the file four times, and until now, her search had brought up nothing. Nothing. Thirteen years in military service and according to the file, Zayn was a literal saint, or angel, or whatever their version of it was called. No violations of the law, no criminal records, and not even a goddamn parking ticket.

It was as if she’d been born yesterday into a second alias.

Somebody knocks at her door, and she heads to it with relief. Despite it being early, Shiro didn’t mind the time; anything that could take her mind of this failure was welcome. Rika is standing at the door, looking more jumpy than usual, and as Shiro narrowed her eyes, she noticed that the other was absently picking at the skin of her fingers. Goddamnit, the disagreeable habit brought back some shitty memories.

“Morning Shiro, mind if I come in?”

“Not at all,” The whitette stepped to the side, allowing Rika to venture deeper into the room, the mess upon the neatly made bed unnerving her. “What’re you up to this time?”

“I'm trying to find info on your girlfriend.”

The blonde-haired one choked on air as she coughed in her hand, trying to avoid the other’s gaze as she spoke. “She’s not my girlfriend.” Rika states, looking around and earning a sneer from the other. “She is,” Shiro smirked knowingly, sitting on the edge of her bed and crushing a few papers under her nonexistent weight. “Admit it; you’ve had it for her since that debacle at the car park.”

Rika’s face was encased in a blush, and she tried to hide it with a hand, her voice now muffled. “She’s sending me mixed messages, that thing’s for sure.” She muttered, slowly becoming perturbed. “I don’t know what to think of her. On one hand, I'm angry at being fooled with, and on the other I think it’s...” She looked down. “It’s kinda hot.”

“What’s kinda hot?”

“Shiro! You know what I mean.”

“No I don’t, and I still don’t know what exactly went down so come on.” The whitette settled down on her perch, an innocent smile on her face. “Enlighten me.” In response to this, Rika pulled out her phone and tossed it to Shiro, folding her arms. “Well first, take a look at what your lover did.”

Shiro fumbled with the IPhone, watching as she’s presented with the messaging app’s interface. “What?” the older one asked, obviously missing the point as Rika shook her head angrily. “Check the recent ones, top item.”

And then she saw it, and struggled not to burst into laughter. A text this morning sent to ‘SPLIT-incarnation’ that consisted of an audio file with the words “Roxy here, talk to this idiot ASAP she need some special healing fam”, and then Shiro lost her control, laughing at the situation profusely. “Pfft, Split-incarnation?” she managed in-between chuckles. “Even I wouldn’t dare to call Zayn that kind of nickname, she just might butcher me to pieces.”

“Roxy fucked everything up! How on earth am I supposed to get to the bottom of things if she keeps providing my enemy with supplies?” The blonde one barked with her hands up and fingers curled threatingly like an eagle’s talons. For once, Shiro was enjoying one of her friend’s all-too-common temper tantrums, and her smile grew into a grin as she waved a hand towards the other. “Watch it big-shot, you’re starting to sound like her.”

The moment she heard that, Rika quickly straightened her pose and expression was falling flat almost immediately. “Just fix this.” She demanded, collapsing onto a chair. “Please, fix this.”

“Fix what?” Shiro wanted to say, but her friend sounded pretty upset, so she just shrugged and began calling Zayn, inwardly shaking her head at the other’s stupidity.

If she loves Zayn, why doesn’t she talk to her like actual fucking people? All this jumping-and-running-around isn’t going to help her or the other, they’re only going to mess things up even more. If there’s one thing Shiro’s learned from watching anime, is that miscommunication is a couple’s greatest enemy. That, and she’d picked up a few fighting moves.

 

* * *

 

 

“Aw.”

Zayn was sitting on her PC, engrossed in an OP-CTF server when she stopped and gazed at her phone fondly, not noticing even when another player killed her immobile character with a spore. Little steps pad across the room before there’s a presence behind her, and she immediately frowns, remembering what happened almost minutes ago. “What’s ‘aw’?”

“AS IF I might tell you.” Zayn’s voice turned ice-cold, biting, and sharp. “You’ve proven yourself not to be trusted.” She can almost feel the slump of shoulders she knows is ensuing, but contrary to her judgment, there aren’t any departing steps. She looks around and her narrowed sapphire eyes stare into dilated baby blue, and she folds her arms apathetically as she spins around in her chair to face her little delinquent.

“Are you just going to stand there and gawk at me?”

Sajeda looks down, and for once Zayn feels sorry for the poor thing. She’d known about what happened with Roxy and honestly, she’d expected it from that pink-haired pixie, but there was a fraction of blame on her lackey for giving up so easily and letting Roxy take whatever information needed. She’d let the other have so many chances and once in a while she needed to be reprimanded for slipping up like this, especially when Rika was involved. The blonde-haired woman now doesn’t answer her calls or replies to any texts, and thank god above Zayn wasn’t losing her temper right now.

“I'm sorry.” How many times had Zayn heard this apology before? Fourteen times, just yesterday. She turns around in her swivel chair to manage her game again, still indifferent about the apology. “I'm really disappointed in you; I thought you were better than this.”

“I'm sorry.” The younger one parrots, she doesn’t try begging like last time; that had backfired spectacularly when Zayn decided to remove her status. “A ‘sorry’ isn’t going to fix what you did.” Zayn gets up from her game and takes her phone from the counter, having disconnected from the server, and walks to her room in silence. At the door, she pauses, and then looks back at Sajeda with an almost... apologetic look in her eyes.

“Think about what you did.”

The ever-existing curtain of powder-blue hair isn’t enough to mask the tears welling in the younger one’s eyes, and she retreats to her room to think about the mess she’d made or at least that’s what Zayn likes to think. She stares into those weeping eyes and that bleeding heart and knows that it’s her fault for pressuring her friend a bit too much.

Still, there needs to be justice.

Her phone rings, and as she turns it around to look at the caller’s name she is stricken by metaphorical lighting. Rika’s calling her right now and it’s not a dream –hopefully, because that would be fucked up. If there’s a doubt of it, Zayn’s hyperventilating and _oh for fucks sake just a n s w e r I T--_

“Hi, how you doing?”

“Hey Zayn, sorry to destroy your gay hopes and dreams.” Shiro sounds a bit apologetic over the phone, and Zayn lets out a tangible breath of air in her relief and frustration because yes, Shiro did destroy her gay hopes and dreams.

“Oh. Hi Shiro. Why are you calling from Rika’s phone? Where’s she?” it wasn’t as if she’s actually worried about the other. Well perhaps a little, not much.

For once, Shiro herself is having trouble with words. “Oh she’s here; she wanted me to talk to you. turns out your little buddy had a chat with her.”

The mention of that debacle with Sajeda makes a frown appear on Zayn’s face, and brings a distasteful tone to her voice that’s colder than what she expected. “I am aware.”

“Hey, you sure don’t sound happy about it.” _Great save, Captain Obvious, I didn’t notice that I’m making my friend’s life shit over this when a simple ‘don’t worry about it’ could’ve saved the day._ “Look, don’t blame the child kay? You know when Roxy wanna get something, she gets it.”

Child? Zayn nearly laughs, the common misconception of her companion’s age never failed to amuse her or the reactions to the truth. “She’s thirty-one years old.”

“WHAT?” Speaking of reactions...

“Yeah shocker. So what does Rika want to talk about?” Oh it wasn’t frightening Zayn at all. The best thing Rika might have to say is to call her a creep and tell her to fuck off; she probably thinks Zayn has some sort of weird-ass fetishes, hearing all of that stuff. “Well, why doesn’t she tell you herself?” there is a voice in the background that Zayn recognizes as Rika’s, as well as Shiro coaxing her into taking the phone, ‘tell her how you feel’, ‘you can't hide forever’, ‘I will bust your nonexistent balls if you don’t take it right now’.

“H-hello?” it’s hard to imagine that almost a week ago, their positions were switched and they had no idea of what might escalate from a single phone call.

“Hey Rika.” Zayn tries to sound at least friendly, the tremor in her voice is so hard to mask that she finds herself wishing she could hang up.

“Um... hi, how are you?”

“Fine, you?”

There’s a fatigued sigh, and she can hear Shiro quietly asking if Rika was alright among the soft ambience. “I'm managing.”

“That’s...” Zayn struggles past the lump in her throat, for she knows that Rika isn’t alright at all, there’s a subtle distress in her voice and it transpires over the line. There’s an unintentional razor in those words, and it slashed up her tongue. “...Good to hear.” And suddenly, Rika sounds very determined, as if she’d finally reached the point where there’s no more beating around the bush. “Zayn I need to shed light on some things, you... you haven’t been honest with me, and it hurts to be in the dark like this.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” This wasn’t fair; Zayn was a good friend to her, wasn’t she? For all what she knows Sajeda might’ve accidently showed her as a manipulative, dishonest piece of shit, and if that was the case then maybe, she doesn’t deserve that redemption Zayn was planning to give her.

“It means I’m—I'm trying, ok? I can't talk about this over the phone, I need to... I need to see you. Talk to you. Get the point across.”

“Alright then, let’s meet now.”

“W-what?”

“You want to talk, so let’s talk.” Rika wanted to get things straight, didn’t she? _You want answers you'll get them, but you won’t like what you're going to hear._ There was a ninety percent chance Shiro was with her file now, but she’d cleared it out a long time ago. None of her secrets was there, thanks to Elena who Shiro-proofed the file, and never in her life was she more grateful to the depressed woman.

“Crystal Park, Western clearing. Meet me there.”


	9. Rains of Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two friends meet in Crystal Park.

It was raining outside, a light drizzle that helped refresh the weary, polluted air and allowed a soft, earthly smell to replace the acidic, acute oxides. The wipers of the Chevrolet were swinging slowly as Rika parked her car in front of the western entrance, noting that the entire park was deserted. It was expected, nobody came to the park during rain, even if it was just a simple spell of it. Shiro was relaxing in the passenger seat, cigarette in hand, and Rika frowned at it as she killed the engine. “Stop smoking that, will you?”

“Why not?” Despite her statement, Shiro extinguished the lethal device and grumbled under her breath, little bits of smoke escaping from the corner of her mouth. “This is why I don’t like hanging out with you. We couldn’t get Roxy, I can't smoke, and you won’t let me know what you people are gonna talk about. This is like, the supreme illustration of boring.” She slouches in her seat, fiddling with the radio before Rika tosses her the car keys, the instrument hitting her in the face.

“Here, entertain yourself, jackass. You can talk to that germ-infested idiot when we get home, all of that smoking is going to kill you someday, and Zayn is going to flip her shit if she sees you. I'm trying to fix things, just like you told me, so shut your mouth.” Shiro lighted another cigarette and blew the smoke away from the window and right in the direction of Rika’s face in an unruly way of expressing the fact that even the world’s most advanced supercomputer couldn’t calculate the number of shits she doesn’t give. Rika got out of the car, walking beneath a black umbrella as she passed the empty gates.

Crystal Park was particularly small for its particularly well known status, but when empty, it gives the illusion of going on for miles. A project by the city’s new governor in his first week, the park had become a pair of lungs for the industry-based city. Usually bursting with activity from families, groups of children, and young couples, the park today gave off an ominous, chilling aura, and slowly, mist was beginning to seep through the trees. The western clearing wasn’t hard to find, but Rika found herself moving at an extremely slow pace, taking paths she knew were longer. She really wanted to confront Zayn but for some reason it felt wrong to do this. Felt wrong to trust someone else’s biased words and fragile judgments and make impressions and decisions on that basis.

And if Zayn wanted to keep secrets, why not let her?

From what Shiro had said, and from Zayn’s little off-hand participations, Rika put together a story but no matter how many explanations she gave, the account felt fractured, inconsistent. To every clarification, a billion more inquiries and misgivings rose, leaving no room for reason. Was there even a solid truth? These thoughts were taken by a wave of conflicting emotions as she spotted Zayn, standing under the protective shade of a tree. She looked peaceful, lightly leaning against the trunk as she looked around and their eyes met. The blonde-haired one is the first to break the contact, not wanting to draw this longer than it needed to be. Without hesitation, Rika walks towards her, avoiding the terrible urge to start picking at her nails again.

“You came,” is all what Zayn has to say. _Oh yeah I came, all the way down here for absolutely nothing than to lose concentration in your foolishly stunning eyes._

“This is... important to me.” Rika manages, and for once, she considers the fact of Roxy actually infecting her with that goddamn ailment; speech is so hard right now. She just wanted to go on her knees and apologize, beg for forgiveness, but it’s stupid and her pride and inquisitiveness won’t let her.

“Well, it’s important to me too.”

 _Is that so?_ “Then why are you like this? Always keeping secrets, working behind my back, and constantly hiding something or another are _such_ truthful things to do to me.”

“Oh, don’t be like this.” Zayn looks away, almost perturbed, and her focus is lost for a second in the collecting fog. Around them, the rain increases in pace, the shower becoming a full-fledged downpour. Of all the places, they had to meet here in the middle of rainfall. Both are silent for a while, Rika not knowing what to say and Zayn lost in her fascination until the blonde-haired woman sighs, moving to lean on the tree next to the distracted other who speaks so suddenly, she doesn’t know how to respond.

“I'm sorry.”

It’s such a cliché thing to say, and they’ve both heard it enough but these two words work, and Rika catches Zayn’s eyes on her. There is guilt there, and Rika can almost sympathize. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“Well, I did fuck up.” The frank statement brings a comical air to their conversation, and both slowly start laughing. It’s a welcome reprieve from the stress of the topic, even when it dies the tension doesn’t return as strongly, and for that they are both grateful. They came here to talk, so Rika decides to get a particularly stressful thing off her chest, address the elephant in the room or more accurately the clearing.

“You know, I shouldn’t have acted like a jerk before. I really hurt your feelings.” She sighs, looking away. “I don’t know why I do things like this.” It was true, Rika’s been detached and harsh to strangers and sometimes, her own friends, as long as she could remember and sadly, it was in fact an unchangeable peculiarity. Fingers entwine with hers, the touch isn’t unwelcome, but it does make something spark in her chest and sink deep in her core, flaring up emotions that she had no idea she possessed. Actions speak louder than words, never had this phrase been so applicable as this simple act of handholding is wrecking her mind, but after internal struggle, Rika regains control of her mind. The blonde one finds the urge to face her culprit, those golden eyes shining with... the faintest hint of tears.

“What are we doing?”

Zayn looks down at their intertwined hands, and her gaze lingers a bit too much. “I don’t know.” It’s genuine, that’s for sure, and Rika isn’t sure whether she likes it or not. She leaves the contact, not willing to aggravate the outlandish uneasiness in her chest anymore. “I don’t know how to deal with this.” She states, folding her arms over her chest in a defensive pose, not that she knew of it.

“Deal with what?” Zayn sounds absolutely oblivious, and it only fueled the other’s frustration as she growls at nothing in particular, stomping a foot against the floor childishly. “I don’t know! I don’t know what’s bothering me like this but I can't handle it anymore.” She almost glares at the other, hands reaching out to grasp at thin air. “You never gave me a chance and keep... k-keep ignoring me.”

“Hey, I did accept your apology when you were an absolute shit to me. I didn’t need to pity you. Well... yeah, I did, but so what? Was I supposed to say something?”

“YES. THAT’S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU—ugh. How do you do this? How do I deal with all these feelings for you?”

"What feelings? I thought... we were... well. I have no idea what we are anymore."

“Oh for the love of heavens! I spent a night in your house; I fucking slept in your bed with your clothes on! Don’t tell me that was nothing. Hell, we've had an entire thesis about how gay I was! I only misinterpreted what you were doing because I thought you were... that you weren’t like this, but after what you did at the car park... I don’t know what to think anymore.”

“Yeah, but that’s something we, as friends, do. I mean how long has Shiro been sleeping at my house and I’m not harboring feelings for her.” Zayn’s frowning now, not that she’s upset at the other, but she hated the lack of acknowledgement of her efforts. Rika’s shoulders slump, and her gaze drifts to the ground. “Is that what that night was to you? That was nothing?” She began to shake. “It didn’t mean anything at all?”

“No!” _Why was Rika so upset?_ “It... it made me confused but... I don’t know what you're supposed to be for me.”

“See? It’s... you! It’s always been about you! I feel jealous every time I see you going out with Roxy or Shiro and how they get to take you places and make you laugh and this desire to spend time with you and say hello and be able to feel you...” Her voice trails off as she drops to her knees, earning a questioning look that she answers with a frustrated groan, and Zayn throws her arms up in the air. “That’s it? Wow, that’s nothing compared to the mess you’ve made me go through, ever since I met you everything isn’t the same, and I don’t know why or how but you, you’re... so different to the other girls at home.”

“I don’t wish to be your exotic fetish.” She sniffed.

“This isn’t it, I... I never thought of them like I thought of you. They never talked like you or acted like you, you're so different and familiar all at once, and I don’t want anyone else. I don’t even want to be angry at you or even get upset over what happened.   
Heck, Shiro would kill me if she knew but... I want to be here because you're all what I want now and that’s that, alright?!”

“Zayn...”

Rika’s hand rested on the other’s cheek, Zayn had slunk down to join the other on the ground.

“Are you in love with me?”

Zayn’s voice was distant. “I don’t know, I guess I just do. And no matter how much I try not to think of it, it’s always there like some incurable disease, but it’s not a disease because it feels...”

The blonde-haired one’s voice seemed to carry the same quake in it, her gaze never leaving those sapphire eyes as if they were a lifeline. “It feels right.”

“Yeah.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

"Because… b-because it's wrong! It's disgusting!” Zayn snaps, and then looks away as her voice drops to its usual gentleness. “That's all I have left, the belief that no matter how I feel about this, it’s grim and the worst kind of sin one can commit. I… I was raised to have loyalty and that's it. That belief… that belief is all I have left. There's nothing I can replace it with.” She clutches at her own shoulders. “I mean, I tried to replace it with my faith in you, but… you rejected…. you refused me.”

“I didn’t reject you--,” Rika sounds almost apathetic before she catches herself and shakes her head briefly to get her thoughts together. “I thought you weren’t up for that kind of things.”

“You think?” a sharp distasteful laugh escaped the shorter one, and she looks down in regret. She really shouldn’t have done this; it only served to lengthen their suffering, didn’t it? Zayn contemplates leaving, forgetting that this has ever happened, and shunning Rika forever but for some reason she couldn’t bring herself to do that no matter how loudly her sanity screamed. Sometimes in the future, when Zayn looks back on that day, she realizes she didn’t remember who or what had initiated the impromptu kiss between them, which had occurred at that precise moment, all what she knew was that her eyes were closed and suddenly she could taste Rika. It was purely a carnal act, raw unbridled lust, and it felt so wrong and right, as if it made no sense and at the same time was perfectly sensible.

The moment she is allowed to pull back, the first thing she has to offer to Rika is a direct slap to the face. **_“What did you do?”_** She almost shrieked, **_“Didn’t you hear anything of what I just said?”_**

She was pretty much offended by the fact Rika just took the opportunity to just press their lips together like that, desperate, needy, and the fact that _that was just my first kiss and it was a girl. Wow, so much for all that heterosexual propaganda_. The blank expression on Rika’s face is as corny as it could ever get, but there’s smug glint in those golden eyes accompanying a little smile as she rises to her feet, a light blush dancing on her cheeks. “What are you smiling at?” Zayn demands as she gets up, brushing off her clothes and Rika envelopes her in a hug that’s not as shocking as her disgraceful act minutes ago, but still, she is taken aback. It’s pleasant though, and they just stay like this for a few seconds, enjoying the closeness.

“I guess you’re right, I don’t know what we are either.”

 

* * *

 

 

“NYAH ROXY Rika just got a facial hit; you should've seen her face.”

Shiro was ducking under a bush, watching the two and relaying everything that was happening to her excited girlfriend over the phone. She had snuck out of Rika’s car after 0.2 seconds of absolute tediousness and spent her time watching the two go over their dilemma like a childish overenthusiastic version of James Bond. “Boy, what did she do to deserve that?” Roxy asked, her voice sounding a bit scratchy over the phone. She was in bed, down with a nasty flu and a sore throat, so Shiro thought it was only fair to involve her in this dramatic action.

“Literally shoved her tongue down Zayn’s throat it seems. Our little army girl is mad. Oh, oh I doubt it, they’re hugging now, I think they’re gonna kick it off.”

“Yeah I heard, baby. Just acknowledge the fact I fucking called it a week ago.”

“Hell yeah we both called it.” She snickered; apparently proud of herself before Rika peeks over the plant and calls her out, angry at being watched despite the fact she should've seen it coming. Shiro just can't keep herself out of people’s business; it’s in her goddamn genes. “What are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay in the car!”

“Whoops, busted.” Shiro stood up, and if it weren’t for her dark clothes, she could’ve just mixed in with the surrounding fog as she trudged out of the hedge plant, falling droplets soaking through her clothes. “Call you later.” She muttered into the phone before hanging up and rubbing the back of her head in an awkward fashion. “Soooo, nice move you did back there.” She grins for a minute, showing all of those perfect white teeth. “Real suave.”

“Shut your fucking mouth.”

“Whoa, whoa, chill buddy. Relax; I'm not going to tell anyone.” Shiro puts up a hand in the air, faking a solemn promise as she notices Zayn gaping at her presence, looking on the edge of a breakdown, and fights back a fit of giggles.

“Besides Roxy?”

“Well yeah—“

Rika crosses her arms with a meaningful glare. “And your mother?”

“She deserves to know—“

The shorter one walks towards them, cutting the whitette off as she grabs Rika’s arm and begins pulling her away. “Look, I'm pretty sure Shiro’s going to tell everyone, so how about we pack our things already?”

Rika dug her heels into the grounds, rolling her eyes as she gently took Zayn’s hand off her arm. “Zayn, no.”

“I'm just saying, a mini exodus doesn’t sound so bad right now.”

“No.”

“Aw,” Shiro cooed in a sickeningly sweet voice, putting her hands together. “Lovers’ quarrel. Too bad I can't watch this you idiots, I have my own girlfriend to attend to.” She turns around just in time to avoid the daggers that Rika glared into her back, and Zayn linked their arms together as the blonde-haired woman yelled after her nosy friend. “Shiro what did I say? Shut your mouth and keep it shut. For the love of heavens, seal it.”

All that Shiro has to offer as a reply is raising her hand, middle finger up, as she walks off, her monochromatic form blending in with the mist.

Rika groans, putting up a hand to her forehead in exasperation, angry at her idiot of a friend. She glances down, noting how Zayn had linked their arms together, and a questioning look takes the place of her frustration. “What’s that for?” She motions towards their connected arms and Zayn shrugged.

“I don’t know, isn’t it something couples do?”

The taller one laughs for a minute, amused at Zayn’s inexperience, and flashes her trademark grin. “It isn’t so bad; maybe we should do this more.” She puts her free hand in her jacket’s pocket nonchalantly for a while before confusion settles and she searches it with more urgency, eyes widening as she realizes Shiro still has her car keys, and immediately flips out.

“Oh shit.”

Zayn looks a bit concerned for a second as she lets go of the other, searching her face for an answer. “What is it?”

“I-I have to go, that idiot is going to drive my car into a river!” She rushes after the reckless whitette, but stops midway as her newfound partner calls after her. “Hey Rika?”

“What?”

Zayn blows a kiss to the other, smirking at the blush that invades her face as she mutters a brief “See ya later.” Returning to lean against the tree, Zayn gazes at the disappearing form of Rika, even after she is no longer visible, and an unexplainable knot forms in her stomach when she realizes she hadn’t been completely honest, hadn’t she? _Still, it’s for the sake of us both._ There is a soft rumble in the distance, and when it dies away, Zayn finally finds the willpower to head to her car, and perhaps make amends with her little –excuse the pun– roommate.

“Yeah. See ya.”

Later that night, Roxy groaned for what seemed forever as Shiro tried to talk her into sex, the pain of her sore throat mixing in with exhaustion and the slight feat of being caught by one of her father’s minions. Rika had gone out for some reason, giving a vague explanation that the pinkette couldn’t comprehend, and Shiro had taken that opportunity to enjoy some ‘quality’ time with her girlfriend. “I don’t wanna get you sick.” Roxy said, and that was the excuse she’d been using, trying to prevent the inevitable for the past trillion times.

“Aw _come on_ baby, just one time.” Shiro pleaded, half-laying on top of her girlfriend who lay in her bed, all previous thoughts of taking a good nap banished by the appearance of the near-inexorable lust for her lover. “I missed you so much.” Pale fingers comb gently through pink locks and for once, Roxy nearly gives in before she manages to control her emotions and put on a straight face.

“You’re literally on top of me so nope, that’s enough pink for the night.”

Her girlfriend begs to differ, kissing the ill one’s cheek ever so tenderly. “Not enough.” She moves a bit lower, right where Roxy’s jaw meets her neck. “Never enough for me.” Roxy rolls her eyes, but just when she’s about to complain her attention is suddenly caught by something else, akin to the noise of a closing door, and she lightly tugs at the back of her lover’s top. “Shiro—“

“Oh, so now you want me?”

“No,” there is an indistinct pacing, and hushed voices that confirm her doubts. “But there’s someone here.”

Almost squeaking, the older one bolts upright, trying to hide any incriminating evidence of their –almost, almost– lewd act. “Quick,” she says to Roxy, who’s too busy resettling down in bed. “Act natural.” She sits on the edge of the mattress, fixing her collar as her lover yawns. “On it.” The pink-haired pixie gives a brief thumbs-up as she hugs a pillow, burying herself under soft sheets with a faint, contended hum as the door opens and Rika steps in, accompanied by Zayn who’s attention immediately goes to Roxy. “Hey there.” She waves at the pinkette who waves back, before kicking Shiro away from the bed with a foot. “You’re going to sleep already?”

“Yeah, got a problem with that?” Roxy flashes them an uninterested glare, and with a huff she lays on her front, trying to find a good sleeping posture. “Not at all,” Rika wrings her hands timidly behind her back, glancing at Zayn who nods before speaking herself. “We just had something to announce but if you’re tired, it can wait.”

In seconds, Roxy bolts up on both hands and knees, now fully alert. “What w-wait no tell me.” She shoots off, to the surprise of everyone. “I... well, that was pretty unexpected, was it?” A little awkward laugh escaped Zayn as she eyes up everyone before speaking. “Look here Roxy, Shiro, we um...” she trails off, and Rika finishes the sentence for her, holding her hand in a gesture the other couple seemed to understand, as they both began showing expressions of surprise.

“Zayn and I are... dating.”


	10. Turbulence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael accidentally reveals a troubling secret to his daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The file 'Unintentional Loves.docx' cannot be opened"  
> H E C K  
> Yes i got this message yesterday and freAKED the fuck out. don't worry, i fixed it though.

“WHAAAAAT?” Roxy cried happy, before jumping out of bed with the grace of a leopard and a few cricks of her joints accompanied by little noises of ‘ow’ and ‘ouch’, running to embrace the two. “I'm so h-cough! I'm so proud of you guys!” she pulled out of the embrace, holding them by respective shoulders. “Where are you going for dates? Are you going to spend nights at each other’s places? Ooh is Rika going to lose her virginity at last? Boy, it sure is about time!” Flushing at the last phrase, the blonde-haired woman’s eyes widened and she blurted out a quick “Roxy zip it you little twit” before noting how a brief sparkle flashed in sapphire eyes, and the rather wily expression that appeared on her new lover’s face. “Is that so?” she asked quietly, as if to herself, before shaking her head briefly and turning around. “Well, that’s none of my business.”

Roxy coughed in her hand for a while, before wiping at her eyes where little tears seemed to collect, but that was probably the effect of her illness. “My little roomie is growing up.” She sniffled, smiling proudly at the bewildered Rika who tilted her head slightly. “Your little what—Roxy what are you talking about?”

“She means you're finally getting out of your tiny-ass bubble and seeing the world for a change.” Shiro kicked in, apparently undeterred by the events that transpired, but unlike her Roxy was acting surprised for the newfound couple’s sake. She walked closer, giving Rika a soft, brief pat on the shoulder, and Zayn a friendly punch on her own that nearly sent her toppling. “You two are made for each other.” She remarked, as Zayn rubbed her shoulder with a wince. “Oh really, I didn’t notice.” Rika said, shivering a bit at the unexpected touch although it had already ended; unforeseen contact had always unnerved her for some reason. “So,” The nosy whitette asks, “what are you guys gonna do now?”

To be honest, it was a good question. Neither of them had been in a relationship before – one-night-stands and highschool flicks aside – and jumping onto the ‘couple’ bandwagon was slowly sounding like an impulsive, rash decision. As the two fidgeted in place, their eyes met for a second and Zayn shrugged with a little smile, making Rika roll her eyes. The only thing they could think of right now was the ‘we’re so fucking dead but hey it was fun while it lasted rip’ kind of thoughts, and the transfusion of thoughts was broken by Roxy who yelled out, jumping in place. “Oh, I know. Kiss!” There were stars in the pink pixie’s eyes as she put on her best begging face, only to be met by immediate rejection to the notion. Rika, horrified, instantly shook her head, while Zayn put up her hands as if freezing the idea in its tracks. “Wait what? No, not that. I don’t do kisses, neither of us do.” She said and Rika nodded wildly in approval, her head almost flying off her slender neck. “Ooh, that’s not what I saw today~” Shiro cooed in her sickeningly sweet voice, grinning from ear to ear as identical blushes appeared on the others’ faces. “If I remember correctly, you did kiss.”

“If I remember correctly, I was caught off guard by an invading tongue.” Zayn side-eyed Rika, making the other shrink a bit in embarrassment, giving a small ‘hey’ as if to attempt redeeming herself. “That time does not count.”

“Alright then, Rika’s got to make up for it, right? Come on, come on, I wanna see.” Roxy was literally fangirling over the two, shifting from one foot to the other before a sudden sneeze broke through her childish acts of persuasion. “S-sorry,” she wiped at her nose. “I got the worst fucking flu on the planet and sparkly-fluff here wanted to fuck so I think you understand my dilemma—“ A hand on her mouth stops the words that were going to appear next, and she frowned at Rika. “Roxy, sweetie, say no more. Please.” The blonde-haired woman demanded, before she felt the younger one lick her hand nonchalantly, making her draw it back as if it had been bitten. The mortified expression on Rika’s face spoke volumes as she took a step back, making the multi-billionaire’s heir shrug as she watched the other wipe her hand on a nearby piece of furniture. “That,” Rika bites out, staring at her hand with disgust, “was gross and unsanitary. You're going to kill me with that attitude.”

“Whatever you guys say, I'm going to nap.”

“Yeah, you… go do that.” Rika waved a dismissive hand as she left the room accompanied by Zayn who grabbed Shiro by the arm, dragging the whitette outside. “Come on, doofus. Let the woman sleep.”

“Bye,” Shiro calls to her girlfriend, flicking the light out. “Sleep tight.”

 

* * *

 

 

“You're trying to tell me it’s been a week and you guys didn’t fuck yet?”

Shiro gobbled down the reminder of her meal, as barbaric as always. Despite what one might expect of her collected and professional attitude, deep down she was as lazy as you might imagine with no regard to any living creature whatsoever. That including the two seated across from her on the round table of Zayn’s kitchen, staring shocked and affronted at the way she devoured the poor sandwich in front of her, and perhaps at her scandalous question. “What?” asked Shiro, whatever remaining of the contraption in her hand and the rest half-smeared across her face? It wasn’t very identifiable right now.

“Can you... slow down a bit? You’re eating like a walrus.”

“No Zayn, a walrus is more evolved than most human beings, present company included,” She raises an eyebrow as Shiro just shoves the rest in her mouth. “And you’re offending it by these words.”

“You two are so fucking cute, I just might throw up.” The whitette swallowed her food, unaware of the current pleas for her not to go through with what she said. “I know you gays are so excited to be a couple and all, but can you knock out the dumb lovers-style arguing and just bang already?”

“Let’s not exaggerate, we just started dating a week ago, and you’ve been in a year-long relationship so you can't judge us. Calling us a couple and expecting us to have sex right now is a bit too rash.” Rika rolled her eyes in that haughty fashion of hers, a hand gesturing towards the one sitting next to her. Zayn just muttered a few words to herself, elbows on the table as she made a ‘you see’ gesture to her undersized companion, standing just out of the others’ vision. Rika caught the movement, but said nothing. By now, she was used to Sajeda’s existence despite the fact she seemed to be constantly at Zayn’s side, monopolizing the other’s time. The soft pit-patter of feet around the house was unnerving, although Rika’s new girlfriend seemed to be comforted by the ambience. These people were nearly inseparable, and more than once Rika would try to listen in on their conversation only to realize she can't understand a single word of their language. She even found that brat sleeping in Zayn’s bed with the older one, looking like a discarded childhood doll just came to life and became infatuated with its owner with that curtain of hair blocking her eyes. Did she even have any?

It was annoying, being cast aside like this, but when Rika told Zayn of it the shorter one seemed to understand. Apparently, Shiro had complained of the same issue before which wasn’t surprising, considering that she’d spent so much time at Zayn’s house either sleeping or abusing her gaming controllers, and Sajeda’s gave her enough threats to go and complain to Zayn. She even gave Roxy the stink-eye once when she saw the pinkette wrapping an arm around Zayn’s shoulders as they laughed over something, light blushes dancing across their cheeks.

It’s as if those little monsters wanted Zayn all to themselves.

“Rika?”

The spike-haired woman is torn out of her thoughts, and she blinks for a second noticing Zayn’s concerned face. “You ok?” There’s worry in blue eyes, and a familiar guilt sinks in Rika’s stomach when she realized she was thinking about wanting Roxy away from her girlfriend. She had to get her jealousy under control otherwise she just might start imagining Shiro starting an affair with Zayn. “I'm fine, I just... zoned-out for a moment there.”

Shiro raises a hand, grinning. “I bet thirty bucks you were thinking about getting into Zayn’s pants.”

Rika turns bright red, stuttering as she tried to free herself from the lewd accusation. “I-I wasn’t!” she says, before gulping and looking away, noting how something docile moved swiftly across the room before the door closed softly. “I... S-Shiro why are you like this? No wonder you're broke.”

“Well I am,” Shiro put up her hands with a shrug. “But you owe me thirty bucks. Anyway, thanks for the meal, but I’ll be on my way.” She stands up, and immediately Zayn stands up as well, accompanying the whitette to the door in her usual fashion. The blonde-haired one stays in her seat for a few seconds before the click of a door captures her attention, and the muted footsteps alert her to the presence right behind her.

“She doesn’t really love you, you know. You're just entertainment.” The voice behind her is the deceptive smoothness of a venomous viper, and Rika knows that Sajeda is back and isn’t pleased. “Distraction, that’s your purpose. You're here to make her forget that this ‘love’ is a charade, not to forget yourself in it.” She doesn’t even bother to turn around; she knows there are glares shot at her back.

“As if you know anything about love. You're saying she doesn’t love me, so what, big deal. If Zayn says she loves me, I’ll take her word over yours any day.”

“You.” The other makes a noise of disgust. “You don’t even deserve to say her name. You’re unworthy.”

“What makes you say this?”

“Isn’t it obvious? She doesn’t even like you because she just can't. You're a girl, girls can’t love each other.”

“...” Rika wants to say something in response, she really wants to contradict the other’s statement, but the words refuse to leave her throat. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a little voice had been repeating the lackey’s declaration for a long time but she’d ignored it, letting it lay there forgotten. When she finally finds the courage to speak, however, Sajeda’s gone and Zayn is walking in from the other entrance, looking around for Rika it seems. When her eyes fall on the blonde-haired woman, however, her face lights up and a smile breaks onto it.

“I thought you were going to follow me, you little sneak.” She says, a devious twinkle in her eyes, and Rika finds herself shrugging nonchalantly, trying to banish the uncomfortable thoughts from her mind.

“I didn’t feel like going outside, I'm...” her voice trails off, and Zayn approaches her swiftly and noiselessly, as if she hovered over the ground instead of touching it. Rika stands up, pushing the seat away gently as she faced her girlfriend who looked understanding for once. “You're not an outdoor person. Gotcha.”

The other nods, wishing that she and Zayn could be truly alone for once and not haunted by the shadow of an overprotective midget who loomed just right behind them, not that they knew anyway. There is an arm wrapped around her shoulder, and Zayn is suddenly very close – close enough that Rika can smell her trademark perfume – and her voice takes on a newer level of velvetiness as she raises a curious brow. “What’s up? You're awfully silent today.” Rika says nothing in response, proving Zayn’s point as only mutters vague meaningless words under her breath that were supposed to form some sort of denial. She lets herself relax in Zayn’s one-armed embrace as they both go up to the living room where they usually spent their time, and side-eyes the other only to find a grin plastered on her face. “What’s so funny?”

Zayn just leaves a kiss on the other’s cheek, stopping to wrap both of her arms around Rika who’s blushing, and not just a little. “You're cute.”

The blonde-haired woman raises a brow, a little smile matching the others’ forming on her face. “For someone who doesn’t want a physical relationship you're very intimate.” She remarks, playing with a loose strand of white hair.

“I've always been like this.” Zayn rolls her eyes, not noticing how they were being trailed up the stairs. “It’s not like you hate it anyway, those pretty eyes say otherwise.”  Her own eyes were saying so much, so wide and bright, it’s almost as if they were reflecting their owner’s deepest desires. Their faces were so close right now, so close that Rika found herself asking, “Are you going to kiss me now?”

“Wouldn’t it be perfect, considering the moment?” the white-haired one leans closer, their foreheads now touching, but snickers inches away, pressing the kiss to Rika’s pointed nose instead. “I’ll have to save it for later.”

Rika looks downright surprised, her face completely flushed, and her hands fly up in an attempt to hide it. “You're terrible!”

“But you love me, and I love you.”

 

* * *

 

Roxy was relaxing in her father’s office as usual as she waited for him to finish an important affair, playing with the many papers he had on his desk and unknowingly ruining some very vital information like the ones she always ruined – No wonder Michael had so much work on his hands. He wanted to see her, that’s what he said in his vague text that he sent, but that wasn’t the first time the pinkette had found herself in her father’s office.

She didn’t come here just for the sake of vandalism, no. Being at Diamond Industries allowed her to see Shiro outside of collage and tease the older one a bit by pretending she let a few words slip about their relationship in front of her dad. She could maybe even have loads of fun messing with the new interns who usually panicked at the bizarre sight of their CEO’s daughter showing up at the training center just for laughs. Someone knocked on the door briskly, as if in a major hurry and came in before waiting for an answer. Just as expected, it was Shiro’s workaholic mother and Roxy previous look-after, Elena, who seriously needed an indefinite break if you wanted her to stop yelling at everyone and everything in her path for ‘being incompetent’.

“Hm. I thought Michael would be here.” She states plainly, and it’s not a surprise, she’d always hated Roxy with a passion after she went into adulthood or at least, that’s what the pinkette thought. Shooting the same uninterested look back at her father’s CI, Roxy folded her arms and leaned back in her chair a little. “Oh, I thought you were taking the day off. Dad’s got some urgent business to do.” She says, eyeing the file in the other’s hand. “I wanted to give him this, but…” For a minute, Elena seemed to wane under the pressure, the looming threat of her endless work wearing her out, her shoulders slumping, and those unfocused orbs staring listlessly at the ground, before she got herself back together and narrowed her eyes at the pinkette who was raising a subtle brow at the obvious effects of the other’s fatigue.

“You can leave it here, or just wait for him if you want to.”

“No, I have things to do. Can you just… make sure he gets it?” There’s a pleading undertone in the other’s voice as she hands over the thick file, and Roxy’s sight lingers on something before the rest of Elena’s sentence breaks in. “He’s been waiting a long time on this one.”

“…o-okay. I’ll let him know.”

Then the woman hurries out of the office without another word, leaving Roxy with the particularly large folder in her hands, and worry sinking in her stomach. Gosh, Elena’s really working herself out even more than usual; this can't be normal. I don’t know how in hell can Shiro overlook this. She shakes her head, getting up and stretching after putting the file on her dad’s desk, making sure not to crumple up any other papers in the process, and makes a mental note to tell her girlfriend about her mother’s exotic behavior. Roxy heads to the door, about to leave as her hand nearly touches the handle before a familiar voice interrupts her act.

“How can you not tell her about this?”

What—what is Zayn doing here? The pinkette stares at the now closed door, narrowing her eyes as she hears more talking from behind it, and opens the door just a crack to investigate. She can see her father talking to her friend, and he sounded perturbed at worst as he looked back and forth. “Keep quiet, will you? Someone will hear us.”

“But you can't keep Roxy in the dark about this, Michael.” The tall one folded her arms over her chest as she stood in front of Michael, effectively blocking him from Roxy’s field of vision. Her father paced back and forth across the empty hall, looking like a caged lion. “It’s for her safety.” He insisted as a hand rested on his forehead, his bodyguard approaching his turned back. “Don’t tell me that, hiding this from her will only make it worse. You know they could come after her too, don’t you?” Her tone was almost pleading. “What will happen then?” For once, her father was speechless as he stopped mid-pace. “I... Look, you know I want to keep Roxy safe, but telling her about these things will only frighten her.” He shook his head, and for a second, his voice trembled. “I'm—I'm not ready to lose her too.”

“You won’t, but you have to let her know about these people and what they’d do.” Zayn said, stern but sympathetic as she placed a supporting hand on Mike’s back. He looked down, guilt apparent on his face. “I don’t want her to start looking over her shoulder too; it’s hard enough for me.”

“Do you at least know who’s doing this?”

“Some woman called ‘Rose Quartz’ and her insurgence, it seems. There aren’t any records of her name anywhere, it could be an alias, and this blasted rebellion just surfaced days ago. They came right after us.” He shook his head again, confused. “I don’t know what did I do wrong, it’s not like I gave weapons to fucking terrorists, for god’s sake!”

“They’re trying to make you question your judgment.” Zayn’s tone is suddenly bitter, venomous, the officer inside her getting the best of her emotions. Her expression shifts into contempt as Roxy sees the more militaristic side of her friend, and the firmness of her expression sends a shiver down the younger one’s spine. “Organizations like these always seek money; they’re after your enterprise.”

“What do you mean?”

“Listen to me; I’ll keep Roxy under constant surveillance. Elena and Shiro and find this ‘Rose Quartz’.” The woman spits out the name with contempt. “When we do, we’ll bring her to justice, give her what she deserves. Nobody can go around issuing death threats to people and get away with it.”

_Death threats?_

Roxy felt as if someone just cut up her insides, breathing was suddenly too hard, and her heart beat loud enough for those two to hear it. _Someone’s been threatening Dad. Threatening us._ Her entire body shook for a second, the possibility was just too frightening for her to consider in the most distant of scenarios, let alone happening in real life and behind her back too. Was that what her father called her for today? To tell her they were targeted? Moreover, who was this Rose anyway and what did she have to do with them? Why target them?

Stiffening her resolve, Roxy opened the door wide, facing the two who stared at her with wide eyes and shocked faces – well Zayn didn’t look so shocked, more like mildly surprised – watching as the pink-haired woman stepped in front of them, and she looked upset more than angry. When she doesn’t say anything, her father fiddles with his sleeve. “H-how much did you hear?” Mike says feebly, trying to assess the damage, but finds out he only did more when his daughter looks up at him with a tearful face.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?” There is sadness in her tone of voice, deep and pained, and it tears at his heart to hear it. “I-I...” he struggles with his words for a second. “I didn’t want to scare you.”

“Scare me?” Disbelief is clear as day in that tone, and a humorless laugh escapes Roxy. “ _Scare_ **_me_**?” Her voice begins to rise in frightening crescendo, the power of it silencing Michael in seconds. “Dad there are people trying to kill you, and you don’t want _me_ to be scared?”

Her father tries to get a word in, shaky and uncertain as Zayn watched the events unfold in front of her with her mouth hanging open, retreating as she let the two argue amongst each other. “But–”

Roxy’s speech was piercing now, a sharp shriek of distress. “Who gives a fuck about me?!” Tears flowed freely down her face as her voice nearly cracked out from how she abused it, screaming at the top of her lungs. “You might die today, tomorrow, even right now, and you're worried about me! I don’t fucking matter!”

Michael growls, grabbing his daughter by her shoulders as he tried to reason with the emotionally collapsing one. “You _do_ matter to me, I'm your father!” It seemed to knock some sense into her, that simple sentence, and so she quieted down. After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, Mike kneels down to face Roxy as she wipes at her eyes, and he tries to comfort his child in a soothing tone. “You're all what’s left of our family, I just happen to care about that. I didn’t mean to hide anything from you, I'm... I'm sorry.”

“You don’t get it;” There is a pain in the back of her throat as she speaks, probably the result of her previous screaming fit. “I-I don’t want to lose you like we lost—” And she doesn’t get to complete that sentence, because she is pulled into an embrace. She can't see her father’s face, but she can tell he’s crying from the subtle shake every once and then. Roxy lets herself hold on to Mike and begs, begs to the stars that he won’t be taken away from her as she cries too; she might just break under the overwhelming pain if she lost her last remaining family. In that moment, she hated that Quartz even more than ever, despite not even knowing who she is. That bitch had just showed up, and threatened to ruin her life with a single move. _Well, I'm not letting you get the best of me, Rose Quartz._

She’d already lost a parent, and she wasn’t willing to lose another.


	11. Coddling the Infection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy moves into the Radcliffe residence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here comes a chapter
> 
> that might make u weep
> 
>  
> 
> **Beta Reader Notes: "**is hit with feels, gets flung into the air before plunging down the abyss that is Bellow Hell**" basically poor Caz is dead.**

Chapter 11 <Coddling the Infection>

_It’s been about twelve days and a half since Shiro last walked out at night._

_It’s been about three hundred hours since she last had a good night’s sleep, her nights being nothing but recurring records of that same incident, so vivid and real it shook her to the core to even think of closing her eyes for a second, for she knew she was never safe if she did. The memories lurked deep, deep in the back of her mind, just waiting for the right moment to resurface and bring back all the traumatizing agony she once felt. Distancing herself from the world wasn’t helpful, despite how inviting it had seemed back then, for if there were none who could hurt her, she wouldn’t be harmed. It was suffocating though, the isolation. The colorless walls of her room had never felt so unbearable, pressing down with unseen strength that drained the life of the forlorn youth within. During the past days, she’d settled into a routine, something to take her mind off her newfound captivity, a weak reminder she was still alive and aware. Wake up at morning, wander around the house, deny any food given to her, and perhaps collapse into bed for the reminder of the day or gaze out of the window with a wounded pain in ruby eyes. She’d never even stepped foot outside since that day – she could recite it in her sleep, the twenty-fourth of December – and it stood out like a ghastly demon, jeering at her for her mistake of sneaking out that night without her mother’s knowledge. The pallid walls, ceiling, and floor mocked her like the sanitary barriers of a mental institute; her medications taunt her like the chemicals that seemed to melt everything into a sizzling chaos instead of sterilizing it._

_Her old, bright self had been the first victim to fall to the ache of this captivity, crashing and burning into an unrecognizable mess, a shell of what she used to be. Shiro’s mother had tried, bless her foolish, foolish heart, to bring the twitching fragments of her daughter back to life, but she had failed miserably. Her friends had shied away from this stranger, this **imposter** , fearing what used to be their acquaintance and had turned into a fearsome beast. Her only visitor was Zayn and even she rarely came around, fearing the anger of Elena who hadn’t coped with the aftermath of the incident as well as she claimed._

_Shiro was terribly neglected by everyone. Her friends, her colleagues, her mother, and even her father who had ran off only a few weeks before that terrible episode took place. Her days all melded into this endless reel of uncertainty, a wavering, and weak vision of what her life used to be, and the worst part was that even then, she wasn’t much of someone worthwhile._

 

* * *

 

 

 “Zayn!”

The little noises of running feet was heard across the hall as the exhausted woman walked through the door of her home, and as she took off her coat she was met by Sajeda who was tearing towards her to take her in a hold, expression a mix of worry and joy. “I’ve been waiting for five hours! Where have you been?”

“Work.” She isn’t returning eye contact, choosing to glare down at her stained uniform instead. God, she looked like a mess, her clothes soiled with oil and grime, what happened at work?

“All that time?” The short one was nervously eyeing up Zayn who stared at her apathetically, almost mechanically so. A simple “Yeah,” is all what she offers for an answer as she moved past the other and kicked off her boots, not noticing how they landed with a loud bang in the corner. On the way to her bedroom, Zayn throws away a few items of clothing off herself as she grumbles, apparently angry at something or another. A shirt, a pair of pants, socks... She doesn’t even notice how Sajeda trails her quietly up the stairs, choosing to keep her distance, and instead acknowledges the other with a snappy “What?” when she knocks on the now closed door.

“Z-Zayn? You ok?” Gently, the short girl stands on her tiptoes to reach the overly high handle and opens the door, and is met by the sight of her friend sitting on the side of her bed, head in her hands.

“I’m fine.” It’s quiet, too quiet; Sajeda doesn’t buy the obvious ruse and instead chooses to take her chances with Zayn one last time. “You're not ‘fine’. What’s wrong? Tell me.”

The elder one sighs, and the answer to her question is one she wished she’d never heard. “It’s happening again.” Zayn mutters weakly, her voice even trembles on the last word.

Sajeda silently prays it isn’t what she thinks it is. “No,” She says firmly, taking a step closer. “No Zayn we talked about this—“

“It’s happening again! Don’t lie to me, you’ve known about it, didn’t you?” There’s anger in her voice, and a subtle fear just below the surface. “You’ve seen it on the news, Shiro told you, you knew somehow, didn’t you? You lied to me, after I trusted you!” There are so many contradictions in her statement; it baffles the younger one who takes a pleading step forward. “Calm down, you're not making any sense.” _OH way to go, stating the obvious._ Zayn is trembling now, nearly breaking into a billion pieces under her stress, and she shakes her head. “I-I can't- I... g-get out. Leave me alone.”

If there’s one thing Sajeda knows, it’s never to disturb Zayn when she’s in this state. Despite the fact she still wants to calm the older one down, she complies, leaving the room and closing the door. She’d seen such anger before, back when they were still students at that decrepit building of a school. She lets out a breath, slinking to the ground as she just hopes Zayn doesn’t have any sharp objects inside that room, when her attention is caught by the buzzing inside the discarded jacket that lay on the computer’s swivel chair like an exhausted ghost. She gets up, hoping it’s not one of those two idiots – the Shiro one was at least decent enough to maintain her distance and would converse like adults on rare occasions – but the name on the screen caused bile to rise in her throat. _Rika. That bitch._ Couldn’t that moron understand a goddamn hint? Sajeda should probably write it on the side of the house in big block letters, **GO AWAY** or something along those lines, probably print it on a shirt, and wear it around that bastard. Sajeda contemplates hanging up on her, smirking to herself. Oh, _that_ would make sure the message got across. Then she remembers how Zayn is right now, how she alone just cannot stop that relapse – if it could even be called one – and she answers the cell with regret and grunts at the phone angrily. “You better be on your way here.”

“Where’s Zayn?” Oh, she even sounds so upset, that disgusting little liar. “She’s not well. If you wanna help her, come here and be quick.”

Rika is quiet, before she gulps unsteadily and regains her composure. “Alright, but if this is another trick I swear to god—“

“Like you know anything about that. Don’t worry your little empty head about it Rika, I’m honest. Unlike you, I actually want Zayn’s welfare.”

“... I'm on my way.”

“Shiro, can we talk?”

The whitette stops messing with her girlfriend’s hair to look into her eyes, and the sudden sadness in them has her confused. They were both lying in Roxy’s bed, the only illumination coming from the dying sunlight outside, a soft cerulean hue tainting the sky. The younger one had been silent for a long time, but that was expected after what happened; Roxy was too shaken by the events she’d told after she’d been exposed to the full magnitude of the threat on their lives, knowing just how many times they’d been close to ending her father’s life and hers as well. “What is it baby?” The elder one asks, wiping gently at the other’s eye where tears have been collecting, earning a sniffle from Roxy who wraps her arms around Shiro’s neck, buries her face in the other’s chest, and she fights the tears she knows are beginning to well in her eyes once more. “I... I feel terrible.” She sounds so desperate; it tears at the whitette’s heart. “How do you deal with it?”

“With what, Roxy?” Shiro didn’t mean to sound apathetic, and she softens her tone. “What do I deal with?” She just wants to understand, there were so many things complicating their seemingly simple lives. The misplaced publicity, the never-ending surveillance, and the fact their status seemed to chase them everywhere. Roxy, however, isn’t troubled by any of these things or perhaps that’s what she shows, she just holds on harder to her lover who wraps her arms around her in return as a gesture of reassurance before she speaks.

“Loss.”

If it was possible, Roxy had rescinded Shiro’s entire being with a single word, and the other tightens her grip in an attempt to smother the words she expects to follow. “Don’t. Just don’t talk about it. Don’t think about how it made you feel; don’t even consider the mere idea of thinking of it. Just forget.” It’s the best advice Shiro can offer; it’s how she dealt with her own loss. Heck, it’s been only a year since what happened, the grave notion makes tears sting at the corners of her eyes as suppressed sentiments begin to rile up, shoving violently against the emotional wall inside. Roxy didn’t just strike a nerve; she had rubbed against a whole bunch of them with a goddamn cheese grater.

“I'm sorry.” Roxy says, becoming aware of the implications of her words as she can feel the other’s hands shake, but Shiro shushes her with a soft stroke of her hair. “Don’t worry, I’m fine.”

“You're not, we both aren’t.” Then the whole act falls, just like that, Shiro can barely hold herself together as Roxy breaks down completely, turning into a wounded, weeping mess, the whitette is her lover’s support column and has always been whenever she was shaken. They both comfort each other as much as they can, which isn’t that much, they aren’t able to even hold in the pain anymore, or at least one of them is. “I-it’s just so hard; I can't h-handle it anymore. What if they t-take him too?” The pink-haired woman manages in between tears, and despite the mess she’s making of herself the other lets her cry, gently stroking the back of her head; sometimes tears are just what one needs to shed at a time like this. “I know, I know, just let it out. Let it all out.”

“What am I s-supposed to do?”

“You don’t have to do anything, we need you to stay safe, that’s all.” The silence rolls back in between them, hanging dreadful and disconcerting. Shiro shifts a bit before Roxy stops her with a hand resting on the other’s face, apology written on her features as she clings tightly to her lover. “I’m sorry, I'm so sorry…”

“I—“

“Don’t tell me you're okay; don’t say that you're fine, I hurt you.” Roxy breathes out the words like thick smoke, unbearably blocking her throat as she spoke. “I didn’t mean to bring it up; you're still hurting and I made it worse, didn’t I? I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

“No, no. This… this isn’t like last time; we’re not going to lose now.” Shiro’s false composure is as brittle as glass, and her girlfriend can see right through it. Outside, insects begin to let out chirps as night falls upon the city. “How can you be so sure?” Roxy dares utter the grim question, and it isn’t a surprise; she has already heard the same claim before and it had proved itself nothing but useless words. The older one sighs, almost mechanically so, before her expression melts into somber determination. “Because I would never, ever let anyone touch a single hair on your head. I know I failed to prevent…” Her voice fades for a second. “… A lot of things, but I can protect you, and I’ll be dammed if some weirdo creep made an attempt on your life under my watch. Don’t apologize for anything, you're not to blame.”

“You're not to blame too, keep that in mind.”

“Can we change the topic to something else? I know how protective your father can be, but there’s really no need because you're staying at my place which is literally the safest place on earth.” Shiro chooses to ignore the skeptic shock on her girlfriend’s face. “We can't leave you at Uni where anyone can get into your room, it’s not safe.”

“Nothing’s safe anymore, ain’t that right?” Roxy tries to smile, but her facial muscles refuse to comply; she’s just too discouraged and exhausted to. The arms supporting her wrap tighter, pulling her closer as the usually comforting yet now depressing darkness overpowers the room. For once, Shiro’s embrace was warmer than she thought, the other’s chin resting atop her head as one of her hands gently brushed away a strand of pink hair. Roxy just ignores the newly forming tears that the both of them are trying to hide, hoping that all this wouldn’t come to the grisly end Rose Quartz and her delinquents predicted for her.

“You're safe with me.”

 

* * *

 

 

 “She’s staying _where_?”                                                                            

Infuriated, Elena scowled at her only child with her expression a mix of absolute fear and fury, possibly overreacting as Shiro nervously wrung her hands, choosing to stare anywhere but at her mother’s face. “Um… here.” She says, and if it were possible, her mother becomes even more enraged. “T-these people know her home address and all of the company’s relations it seems, but they have no idea about us so we’re safe.” The little shaky smile she offered fractured quickly at the sight of Elena’s anger-fueled outburst. Despite not actually being threatened by the anger, the whitette couldn’t help but flinch as Elena let out a frustrated growl. She hadn’t seen an outburst in weeks; the only reason why Shiro rarely saw any temper tantrums from her mother because after a few seconds of anger, she would become a stammering, stomping mess and just fry herself out. “What—when—you know I'm not even going to ask.” She waves off a hand, getting up from her chair and heading to the door of her office. “Just keep her away from me.”

Shiro slumped back in her chair, now more irked than nervous. “Aw jeez Mom.” She threw up her arms dramatically. “Why do hate her so much?”

The elder one stopped just short of the doorway. “Hate her? I don’t hate—” She is interrupted by a glare shot her direction, and Elena sighs as she shakes her head. “Well yeah I’m not fond of her, she keeps invading your personal space like it doesn’t exist, and I don’t like it.” Her eyes narrow in brief suspicion, before she returns to scolding her daughter. “Shiro you're so impulsive sometimes, didn’t you think this through?”

“I _did_ , that’s the problem.”

“Well you didn’t do enough thinking. You're not ready to share a room with anyone right now, especially _her._ ”

The whitette puts up a palm to her forehead, a loud frustrated groan escaping her. “Can everyone just stop fussing over me? I'm fine!”

“No, you're not.” Elena insists, despite her daughter’s obvious disbelief. “Not until the doctors confirm it. You’re staying up late, going out with suspicious people, don’t think I didn’t notice. What’s next, Shiro? Drugs?”

“You know, playing video games and having a social life for a change isn’t going to make me take those things. Being harassed by a bunch of stupid people in lab coats would.”

“But you’ve changed.” There’s something akin to sad desperation in Elena’s voice, a fear of her daughter’s newfound path in life. “Ever since you met that brat, you’ve been skipping appointments, not taking your pills, you're going to kill yourself at that rate, and it’s her fault. She’s a bad influence.”

“Mom, you're _misinformed_ , alright? I don’t need a bunch of academic slobs to tell me I'm doing well which by the way, I am, so you can stop trying to protect me from everyone, especially Roxy. I trust her more than anyone, more than you think; she isn’t as much of a bad person as you imagine her to be.” Despite the look of disbelief that statement earned, Shiro kept talking, counting on her fingers as she spoke. “She doesn’t go out with gangs, only tried drinking once, and didn’t even stick with it; you're going to assume she’s been on drugs?” She lets out a short humorless laugh. “Come on Mom, you have her full record readily available, you’ve known her father for ages, you practically raised her! So don’t go around calling Roxy a bitch just because you don’t like the way she talks to you. She just hates you because her father puts more attention into you than her.”

“He… he doesn’t,” Elena narrows her eyes at nothing in particular as she stares down, a bit confused. “Why are you so defensive all of a sudden?” She grows skeptic, and Shiro just looks away with her arms crossed. The defensive pose is unintentional, and it could’ve been averted – just like this entire crisis – but her mother has been trained in discovering and recording all the little snippets of behavior as it might prove itself useful later, and she’d caught that sudden shift in behavior. “No reason. I just don’t like the way you always insult her whenever she’s not around.”

Shiro’s mother frowned, her irritation subtle, but there. “Are you… questioning my judgment?” Her hand that rested on the doorframe earlier clenched over nothing in a mechanical motion before she moved back into the room, eyes narrowed like a predator. Shiro went immediately full defensive, fight-or-flight mode, standing up and taking her own step back as she put both palms up, trying to fix the misunderstanding that now took place. “No, no, all I'm saying is if you just stopped rubbing her the wrong way, she might be nicer towards you, that’s all.” The nervous grin shows all of her equally white teeth and her mother seems to calm down a bit before she walks out of the room, door closing loudly behind her.

_Wow. Smooth as butter._

Shiro brushed back the wild locks of hair that always found a way to hang over her face, letting out a tired breath as she slowly opened the door, peeking around the corner for any signs of her mother. The hallway was empty, and the pale one took it as her cue to floor it. That didn’t go exactly as planned, _but hey, it was progress, yes? Let’s just hope Mike can talk sense into her this time, it’s probably his fault Roxy’s waist deep in this shit._ Inwardly, she facepalmed at how Michael could allow such threats to get to his daughter, but chose to keep it to the mind's eye. Her mother was quite fond of the CEO, not that she would admit it aloud, and if she heard anyone offending him they just might end up dead, child or not. In the safety and security of her almost-untouched room, Shiro yawned as she rubbed at her eyes, only now realizing how late it is.

 _Not my fault,_ She thought as she flopped down on her neatly made bed, rolling around and trying to find a spot where she was comfortable in. Elena had forced her to wait until she was done with all those piles and piles of work before they could talk like sane individuals – at least for a while, and it was about 4:50 AM now. Shiro could’ve stepped up and objected, yes, _but Mom has an eyebrow game that’s as strong as fuck, I gotta give her that._ The room itself wasn’t anything impressive; it was very much Shiro-themed. Plain white walls save for a couple of Voltron posters that littered the wall opposing her bed and were actually the only decoration in the room, grayscale furniture, that kind of thing. In a corner sat a lone desk by the bed where a rarely used laptop was docked, not forgetting the wall closet that you just might slam into if you weren’t careful; the whole place had an aura of sanitation surrounding it and everything was handpicked by Shiro herself – all but the posters, they were a gift. Her mother had always complained back in the days – when she wasn’t the mess she is right now – about how she always couldn’t find Shiro in her room because of all the saturated white glaring at her. Once, she walked in late at night and couldn’t see the other in bed, looking frantically all over the house and the neighborhood before realizing her daughter was fine and at home, sleeping like a baby. Of course, the blessing of personally arranging her room’s furniture was the light switch was directly next to the bed – she could easily reach out and snap it out without having to journey all the way to the door. Darkness filled the room, only disrupted by the frail amber haze from outside that indicated a to-be sunrise. The white-haired mess let her eyelids slide shut, intent on falling in a very, very long slumber; at least until her brain could function properly again.

That repose lasted about three hours before it was rudely interrupted by a ringing phone and a muffled whine from Shiro’s pocket. Making a face with the world’s purest rage and discomfort, the drowsy whitette pulled out her phone and squinted as the bright light hit her eyes. Roxy was calling? The sun was just rising, its rays illuminating the room and painting swirling shapes on pallid walls. It took an immense amount effort to not burst into a fury-fueled screaming fit right there and then. “This better be important.”

“What? No good morning, how you doing, anything of that sort?” The little expectant pause over the line didn’t last long. “Did I wake you up babe?”

“Never mind, I didn’t need the nap anyway.” Shiro lied, wiping at her eyes as she struggled to stay awake, fighting the immense lethargy that overwhelmed her very being.

“What do you need then?” Roxy asked, considering. _The sweet embrace of death,_ Shiro nearly said aloud for it was edgy as well as true, but was a bit hesitant about scaring her girlfriend shitless at this hour so she remained silent. “Nothing much, just the privilege of seeing you in my house today with a suitcase at your side.”

“Gee, Elena- I mean your mom gave you the green light? Didn’t expect that of the dungeon troll.”

“I fought tooth and nail for it so you better show up today, or else I might drag your ass here.”

“Oh, drag me daddy.” Roxy’s seductive tone was causing a blush to appear on pale cheeks as Shiro tried her best not to let her lover go too wild. “Stop it, I think Mom’s gonna hear us. I gotta go.”

“Leaving so soon? Come on, I didn’t get the chance to mortify you yet.”

“Yeah, it’s not like you won’t later. I’ll see you at work ok? Bye, don’t destroy the world while I'm gone.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will poor Roxy perish
> 
> because of Rose the creep
> 
> _who knows._


	12. Minor Inconvenience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A setback occurs during the move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahahahaha surprise motherfuckers   
> yall dont like my memes so imma post this chapter out of the goddamn blue  
> ey

“Where is Zayn? She was supposed to escort you here.” 

Michael doesn’t even bother to look up from his work, so Roxy just offers herself a seat. She couldn’t even fathom how did he know Zayn wasn’t here, but maybe they had some sort of attendant protocol she usually followed. “Home.” At this answer, Mike stops typing on his laptop to stare at his daughter with a questioning gaze. “She took the day off.” 

“Zayn never takes a day off.” It was true; the bodyguard had never skipped work even when she was down with the nastiest germ Mike’s ever seen. “Please tell me you at least talked to her.” Roxy’s _blasé_ attitude faltered ever so slightly at the sudden unexpected urgency in her father’s voice. “Nope, why should I?” The door is opened and Shiro walks in alongside her mother who immediately narrows her eyes at Roxy’s presence, antipathy written all over her features, but the face evaporates as Mike glances over to acknowledge them with a brief nod. “Something must’ve happened to Zayn, she never does that kind of things. At least not on short notice anyway.” He insists, addressing his daughter once more, and Roxy rolls her eyes. If Zayn was in trouble with anyone, Roxy thought she had to worry about whoever that poor runt was. Why, also, was he so worried about Zayn? A woman like her could take perfect care of any situation, but deep down there was still a slight twinge of worry. Rika had gone to see her yesterday and the problem was that Roxy hadn’t seen of the two since then. 

“I’ll give her a call.” Shiro piped up, glad to help and distract the others from the vicious daggers Elena was glaring into Roxy’s back. She pulls out her phone, dials in the number, and waits, tapping her foot lightly against the floor. “It’s ringing.” 

Roxy shakes her head at Michael who can't apparently control his staring now that Elena’s in the room. He notices the small gesture and quickly resettles, hoping that the other hadn’t caught him gawking at her. Luckily for him, Elena was too busy thinking about how much she wanted Roxy and her daughter out of that room so the adults can have a proper ‘talk’ to become aware of what was happening, but all of their attentions were snapped to Shiro who seemed to finally get an answer. “Rika? Hi, what’s up?” The subtle arched brow is the only indication of how surprised she is because Rika answered the line. That was Zayn’s phone, and she never let people touch her phone at any costs – Shiro had her own doubts Zayn kept… well porn in there – unless there was a full-scale emergency and even then she would rudely yank it back as soon as one was done. She waits at the line as Rika talks, giving a little understanding hum before blinking. “Wait, what do you mean by ‘we’? Who else is with you?” she narrows her eyes before her expression turns deadpan. “Shiro what the hell is going on?” Roxy, straightforward as always, gets a condemning glare from the adults in the room before Shiro hangs up. “Zayn is coming, but she’s going to take a while.” For some reason, there is the littlest hint of a blush of her face. 

“And why is that?” Elena crosses her arms, not amused by the whole situation. On the other hand, perhaps she was just a bit irked she had to share a house with Roxy again. The whitette looks at the ground, now completely flushed. “Apparently Rika tied her to the bed.” The words came out slow in a futile attempt to cushion the blow, but the shocked and surprised reactions that statement earned were just as expected. 

Mike was the first to recover from the trauma, although not completely. “Tied her to the...” He tilted his head in confusion. “What.” 

“Oh, wow. That’s unnecessarily awkward.” Elena blinks a bit, hoping she didn’t hear what she thought she heard. Her statement earns a snicker from the CEO who then apologizes, although it’s not necessary. “I know it’s rude to jump to conclusions about people’s personal matters but... isn’t... I don’t know what to believe anymore.” He buried his head in his hands to hide his impromptu burst of laughter, all while Roxy was trying to suppress her own bout of it. That was why they went off the grid yesterday; they were too busy making some noise. Oh she was going to taunt those two about it forever. After a few minutes of affronted silence, she goes ahead and asks the million-dollar question. “Are we going to wait for them or not?” 

Shiro glanced over at everyone, and when nobody seemed willing to take the initiative she sighed. “Mom, I'm gonna need the car keys. Maybe I can... drop by and pick them up, so you guys can head over to the house, we’ll catch up.” Mike nodded, eager to be able to move over this uncomfortable conversation, and Roxy stood up from her seat. “I’ll drive.” She offers, before heading out with the white-haired one who seemed more than relieved to be out of that room. When they were certain their parents were out of earshot, Roxy touched her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Alright, what did Ri really tell you? As much as I would like the idea of those two banging I find it hard to believe.” 

“They didn’t, but what I said was true.” Why did Shiro’s tone indicate disappointment, it wasn’t clear. “Apparently Zayn had gone a bit nuts and Rika was called in to ‘assess the situation’, which ended up in that bondage ordeal.” 

Roxy started laughing, making the other’s cheeks flush. “ _Bondage ordeal_ , oh my god Shiro you’re a riot.” The two stopped at the elevator doors, but the pink-haired woman glanced back at the office door with a strange expression on her face, something akin to sad appreciation. 

Shiro caught the odd expression, feeling a bit confused. “Is… something wrong?” she asks, worry apparent over her face, but Roxy shrugs it off with a laugh. “I was thinking.” 

“About?” 

“Dad and…” Roxy makes a disgusted face as Shiro facepalms. “Elena. Argh! I wanna kill that woman!” 

“Please don’t kill my mother. Please don’t do that, she already hates you to the point of no return and she’s my only family which I don’t want dead.” 

“He asked me to go ring-shopping yesterday, said it would be a good ‘family bonding activity’.” Roxy said, making air quotations with her fingers. “By the way that was really crude for an excuse. He’s going to ask the question Shiro, we can't let this happen.” 

“I know, I know,” the whitette said, a bit uncomfortable, “but can we just let them do their thing? They love each other to death, and that just might happen considering the current conditions.” 

“You don’t understand.” The pink-haired woman sighs, shaking her head. “We can't fuck then Shiro. Think of all the make-out sessions! Think of all the great gay sex we will waste-!” She is interrupted by a ding as the elevator doors open, and surprisingly this shorty teen in a red t-shirt and black jeans – just a bit shorter than Roxy’s waist – is holding a phone, apparently recording the conversation that transpired. Seeing the shocked expressions on their faces, the youngster smiles a little. “Oh don’t worry,” she says in a pleasant, soft tune of a voice. “I didn’t take any pictures.” 

Roxy and Shiro almost sigh in relief before they are interrupted once more by the teen, this time smiling wickedly. “I took a video.” Shiro’s eyes narrowed threatingly as she reached out for the phone. “You crafty little…” She growled, only for the other to pull it back, showing them both the screen with her thumb hovering over the ‘share to YouTube’ option. “No, no, no, no. Pay up.” 

“What?” Now even Roxy was angry, pulling up her sleeves. “Oh hell no, you are so dead-“ 

“Just like your social life I guess.” The teen shrugged nonchalantly, almost pressing the button before Shiro and Roxy cried out in unison. “NO!” Their faces were overcome with horror, and then the red-shirted teen grinned wickedly. “Then pay.” She did a little gesture with her free hand, and the whitette glanced at her girlfriend only to be met with the sight of her empty pockets. “Sorry.” Was Roxy’s sad response. A few minutes later, and after forking up a couple of fifties and twenties, the two sighed in relief as the video was deleted and the teen, Navy was the name, walked off as she counted the loot. 

“Pleasure doing business with you two~” She sang, leaving a broke Shiro and an agitated Roxy in her wake. 

* * *

  


Zayn groaned as she regained consciousness, realizing that for some reason her arms were numb and hanging over her head. A few stirs and kicks later, and she becomes aware of the makeshift ropes holding her in place, and the fact she could hear Rika speaking somewhere down the hallway. This position brought back some memories from military collage, save for the fact she didn’t waste herself on something last night and the lack of the crowd of amused women, but she felt groggy enough for it to be considered a hangover. At least someone had the decency to put her back in her pants – god, she really didn’t want to be caught off guard in her boxers – but the trusses were a bit too tight and the whole situation really embarrassing, let alone awkward. So hackneyed. _A leash would’ve been more appreciated; at least I've always wanted to try that._

_Wait. I did try that._

“Look who’s awake.” Someone pushes open the door, boots clunking against the ground as the culprit blonde shows her face, looking quite amused. “You really are a nutcase, you know that?” Rika walks in so casually, a little grin plastered on her face, and Zayn starts worrying over how much of last night she can't remember. “What did I- what did you do?” She asks, noticing her phone in the other’s hand. “Oh, nothing at all. You're the one who made a fuss out of nothing, yelling over some ancient history like a little girl. Such a crybaby you are.” The memories start to return, and Zayn realizes that Rika’s probably walked in on something unpleasant along the lines of weeping over that ‘ancient history’. Just how many times had she let this happen? “Doesn’t give you the permission to tie me to the bed.” Zayn’s rebuttal was the worst, but it was hard to think of something sassy while being chained to the posts of your own bed. Now that she thought of it, perhaps Rika just wanted to humiliate her; anyone with a brain knew that even a goddamn chair was more appropriate. 

“You were out of control; ask your tiny little demon, she saw it all.” Oh, of course she did. Sajeda probably came up with the degrading idea, even rejoiced in the sight of Zayn trussed like an animal. People always said short ones are the closest to hell, but that little snake had a villainy class of her own down there with the devil himself as her top pupil. Enough thinking of that unpleasant topic, Zayn focused her mind on the issue at hand, getting out of her chains. “So you just tied me up? You couldn’t do anything else?” 

“No.” The confession comes out a bit awkward. “Shiro was right; you do have the booty and the brawn. Now I have no time to be discussing this horrid situation, Shiro’s coming to pick me up and I need to get ready.” The criminal brushed down her shirt, finding satisfaction in the horrified expression on Zayn’s face who realized that she failed to keep Roxy under her watch. “H-hold up, Rika, wait! What about me? You can't possibly leave me here!” Zayn tugged at her binds, now distressed at the idea of being left all alone with Sajeda who can be very horrifying at times; especially if you're tied to the bed and had previously wronged her – the ‘previously’ here could be a few years, that girl keeps notes – which could make Shiro’s annihilating, raging temper sound like a cakewalk. She stared wide-eyed at Rika who just smiled patiently at the other’s futile attempts to get free, and then started walking to the door. “Watch me.” The wicked dominant smile was obvious in her voice. 

“Rika! Get back here!” 

Nevertheless, there was no answer as the blonde-haired woman left with the most evil smile on her face, giving Zayn a little wave as she closed the door behind her. 

_Just. What the actual fuck._

Outside, Rika glanced at her watch, realizing she had wasted precious time taunting her girlfriend who might come after her for this, but Zayn needed to know her place. Yes, perhaps trying her to the bed was a bit overboard, but it was such a good idea back then and Rika had always wanted to try it on someone. She walked into the deserted living room, noting how the house felt so empty without Zayn’s… enormous presence. Nevertheless, she had to diminish Shiro’s suspicions and let her know quietly that Zayn wasn’t coming. 

Then a noise attracted her attention, slow clapping. 

“Nice job. I almost bought it.” 

“Hm?” 

“The cool attitude, the devious smile, I almost thought you indulged in seeing her all tied up like this.” Sajeda snickers, leaning her elbow on a coffee table. “Perhaps you did, who knows, it sure is within the bounds of the imagination.” She says in a wondering tone, tapping a finger to her chin. 

“Hey, don’t forget that this was your idea.” Rika reminds her snappily, arms crossed as she walks past the other, down the stairs, and out the front door, preparing to greet the SUV just crawling into a stop. Shiro gets out of the car, a bit green, and before Rika can say anything she bolts inside gagging. Roxy exits the vehicle, an excited expression, and a flush on her face as she greeted the blonde-haired woman. “You little sneak.” Roxy grinned as she spoke, making Rika blush a little because she knew what the other was talking about, and knowing that an obvious misunderstanding of her intentions had taken place. “Just couldn’t help yourself didn’t ya?” 

“Uh… what do you mean?” 

“Oh, don’t lie to me.” The pink-haired woman wiggled a finger in front of Rika, smirking. “I know what you guys did last night.” At this sentence, Rika immediately put up her hands in defense. “What? I- We didn’t do anything!” 

“Yeah right.” Roxy said in a way that indicated she didn’t believe any of what Rika claimed. Glancing over to the doorway where Shiro disappeared, Rika jerked a thumb at it. “What was that about?” She asked, making Roxy roll her eyes. “Whitey can't handle a little drifting, that’s all.” She leans back against the SUV with an uninterested expression. “Guess she forgot to take her pills again.” Speaking of which, just as poor Shiro finished throwing up in the bathroom – Roxy had picked up quite the quirks from Zayn’s reckless driving – her presence was noticed by the bound one who was literally crying out in joy. She washed her face, grumbling about how she would never ever make that idiot of a woman drive again before a loud yell echoed from upstairs, calling her name. “Shiiiiiiiirrrroooo! Get up here and help me!” 

_Was that Zayn?_

“NOWWW!” The voice screeched, and Shiro found herself running upstairs in a hurry to Zayn’s room, only to be frozen in shock at the doorway when she saw the humiliation her friend was put into. “Don’t even say anything.” Zayn hissed, threatening with a sharp venomous glare as Shiro tried to avert her gaze from this indecent display, her pale face filling with color. “Rika did this?” She asked, expression ranging from shocked to uncomfortable. 

“Oh yeah she did.” The humiliated one said, wincing as Shiro untied her ankles from the bed and proceeded to remove the binds on her wrists. “Who else knows about this?” Zayn asked, stretching now that her hands were free. Shiro sighed with apparent remorse, checking the hallway for any sign of Rika just in case she figured out her ‘prisoner’ had been freed. “Everyone.” Her confirmation is not that comforting, go figure. 

Zayn’s face was blank; the shock drained too much blood out of it for her muscles to move anymore, even the words come out numb. “Everyone as in… everyone?” 

“Yeah.” Shiro rolls her eyes, walking out of the room and pulling out her cellphone, probably checking for texts. Zayn follows her, glancing left and right as if scared of being ambushed in her own home. “Don’t tell me you actually care what people think. That’s not the Zayn I know.” 

“I don’t care.” It came out hurried, bitter, and the other woman nearly elbowed Shiro and headed out of the door if only for the moment she spotted a brief reflection of her in a nearby mirror, making her freeze and curse. “Goddamnit.” 

“What, don’t you feel like walking out practically naked?” Shiro snickered, grinning evilly as Zayn backtracked into her room. “Ha, ha, so funny Shiro.” She threw it over her shoulder, grimacing. 

“Looks like you regained your long lost sense of humor.” 

The drive to Shiro’s house was spent watching the scenery pass outside with disinterest, or at least that’s how it went for Roxy. The mood would’ve been monotonous and calm if only she stopped internally ranting over how much displeasure it brought her to move in with Elena again. She didn’t mind it when she was younger, when the CI was just the quirky, awkward aunt Elena her dad always took her to visit, but they drifted apart about nine to ten years ago, and Roxy had to admit that ever since… what happened… Elena’s attitude towards everyone took a 180 turn and she became nothing but a domineering, heartless piece of shit. Sometimes, Roxy missed the old version of her father’s adulthood crush. Back in those days, she missed the woman who always tried to cook her lunch but burnt it, the one who watched Magic School Bus with her even when she was busy with work, the one who was always there when her 10-year old self woke up wailing in the middle of the night because _Mommy’s not coming home._

Roxy would’ve been a liar if she said she didn’t miss that version of Shiro’s mother. 

Nevertheless, what she truly hated was the new mask of hatred that Elena had bolted onto her face, the cold, biting remarks, how she treated her like a constant threat that needed to go away, an illness that must be cured. Was it guilt, grief, or something much worse? Roxy didn’t know, but she knew that the woman who once raised her wouldn’t be thrilled to share a single residence with her now, despite the motherly bond they shared before. It was going to be such a rocky path, starting this uncomfortable conversation she had danced around for so long, but it had to be taken. For Shiro. 

“Are we there yet?” Rika groaned from the back seat, cutting off Roxy’s tirade as she slid halfway into the sleeping whitette’s lap. Because she didn’t take her pills and Zayn was driving Shiro had simply bored herself to sleep, which sure was better than throwing up – again – all over the precious leather upholstery. Rika was swiping through her phone, mostly looking through memes, politics, and political memes. “Nah.” Was Zayn’s short reply as she struggled with the difficult handling of the SUV, grunting to herself as she attempted to not crash into a nearby house. She was more of a luxury car person, one for the quick handling and smooth suspension. It brought back memories of when her father had owned a GMC once, a funny story where the 15 year-old Zayn literally went through a wall trying to park it downtown and ended up getting banned from driving it. Forever. 

“Well when are we getting there?” Impatient Rika demanded earning a sleeping groan from Shiro was trying to shift in her place into a much more comfortable position, only to be halted by the sudden new weight on her lap. The white-haired one, still buried deep in the abyss of sleep let her eyes open, just a crack. Seeing the blonde-haired woman so comfortably using her as a pillow, she pushed Rika off her and resettled, all while grunting meaninglessly as she went back to sleep. Rika let out an indignant huff, crossing her arms and moving away. 

“We’re here. Rika, wake Shiro up.” 

“Like hell I would.” 

“Rika.” Zayn narrowed her eyes at her lover who merely shrugged under her searing glare. “What? She’s a douche and I don’t want to get into trouble with her creepy-ass mother.” It was true; Shiro and Rika had a history together, back when Rika was still an addict. “You wake her up, Roxy. Isn’t she your girlfriend?” 

The pink-haired pixie narrowed her eyes, arms crossed. “I have issues with her mom too.” She seemed angry, but who could blame her? She’d already failed to keep two motherly figures in her life, let alone had a good relationship with one. 

“Am I the only one who isn’t on Elena’s death note?” Ironically, Zayn waited for a couple of minutes for a response, but sighed upon getting none. “Whatever you two, I’ll wake her up. You guys go inside, see if Mike and his wanna-be wife made it safely.” 

Upon hearing her bodyguard’s words, Roxy grimaced. “Oh, she _wishes_.” 

  


**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This work is on perma hiatus until 1/7/2019.
> 
> I currently at am a difficult place in life, and as my improper disappearence has implied I feel unable to continue working on this fic until I stabilize my situation. All of my works, including "Welcome To Earth", will recieve scheduled updates and work in 2019. I apologize for vanishing, and hope all you fans of this fic are not very saddened by having to wait another year. 
> 
> A message identical to this one has been posted under my other ongoing works.


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